the accusing tone

Sometimes I wonder, how some people just shoot their mouths off without a second thought. Did these people ever take a class in social studies? Or did they completely miss the social skills class? But then, there are the other 'many' who are just courteous by nature. Is this really a part of learning or are people just born rude and obnoxious? I am not making references to a select group unfortunately. No matter how something is, that we want to express, there is always a better way to 'package' the comment. We should always keep in mind that if we were on the receiving end of a comment, we would like it to be subtle and less accusing. Nothing is always too obvious yet being explicit takes not mere diplomacy, but thoughtfulness. Between friends, we joke, we kid around, but when does it constitute going overboard? I believe that happens when the tension is high and one party chooses to use THE ACCUSING TONE. For me, when one does that and cannot substantiate the point clearly, then it's just pushing the buck. It's no longer a discussion, but more of a 'I want to bail out' conversation. Sure, we all come from different schools of thought, but at the end of the day, arn't discussions meant for improvements? We have discussions so that we collectively understand the current situation and we come up with suggestions to tackle the situation better. Beginning a discussion in an accusing tone, will not get anyone anywhere, because the discussion becomes a war of words and as in any war, there will be retaliation and for some, they would rather just sit it out. Where does that bring us then? Nowhere.