About Me

My photo
Read my blog and figure it out....:)

Search This Blog

October 30, 2006

Being in Love/Loving a Person

This is a tough one for everyone I'm sure. Because, although people do not really change in personality - what they do causes a reaction which 'changes' the other persons behaviour in response. Complicated it may sound but that's the crux of it all.
When we are in love with someone, we will go to the end of the rainbow and dig for that supposed pot of gold, eventhough the brutal truth is, there isn't any real pot of gold, because the rainbow doesn't really end! When we love someone, we would humour that idea and leave it at that OR have a really silly argument about facts versus fiction and just plod on. The differences in opinion will add on to that baggage of 'how different we are'.
When we are in love, he may say something silly, and we get all tickled and fired up with laughter. When you love someone and he says the same thing on a wretched day, we chide him for being insensitive and tell him to stop making fun of us.
When we are in love, any gesture is received as being loving and thoughtful. When it's someone we love, it's expected.
It's not usually the years that cause this to happen but more the heated squabbles, and the 2-camp situations that promotes this separation between the couple.
I may sound like relationships are just separations waiting to happen - but that's not it either. After all the hot air and passion has faded off and we have one foot in the grave - it may be safer to be with someone you love and not someone you're in love with, because it's no longer about excitement, but more about tolerance and companionship.
Not that people do not go to the grave being in love, but that is my honest opinion and I'm not afraid to ruin the fairy tale.

October 26, 2006

The new Pyramid Selling

It takes all kinds to make the world. Yet, the variations are sometimes, just too astonishing for me to comprehend. Take my present job. Instead of operating like an MNC consulting firm, we have become a pyramid-based agency. We are paying Ms C an overriding fee, in addition to her company's commission - and she doesn't even need to lift her pinky for that.
Pyramid selling which is illegal here markets toiletries, health supplements, household cleaning or beauty products. Question : If it's illegal, why is it am I having this problem?
I guess, when in the corporate world, your disguise must be pretty good. You will go under a heavy cloak of agreements or memorandums of understanding. We don't always find out when we're being fleeced until it's too late - but in this case, we've known for a long time, and the HEAD is not doing anything about it. If I take the cruel approach, I'd say, either the flesh or material gain is involved. We may be a compassionate society, but this is way above any corporate directive on the lowest scale!
So, I'll be busy thinking about how to diplomatically terminate this stupidity, because as much as we have to do charity, we are not a charitable organisation. Even Charities are answerable to their balance sheets.

October 25, 2006

After the Funeral

I have decided that Funeral Wakes are dramatic, and Funerals are Oscar winning plays. In a society where each family is struggling to survive and keep their heads above water, rarely do we have time to meet and chat up. Unless of course we all live in each others home vicinity.
Imagine that a friend of mine only sees me at Wakes! It's morbid but a true reflection of just how little time I spend on socialising. This is a friend, whom I visit at least weekly for lunch or tea - those days! These days, I'm just happy to plonk myself on my favourite couch and be a potato - too tired to bother anymore, because my entire day would have been about smiling and being politically correct.
After the Funeral, bone-picking, urn filling, sealing of 'tomb', I must say that it has given everyone closure. I know I'm not an emotionally charged person, but I dare say that not everyone is unhappy to be a free soul. Of course, if death comes too suddenly and too soon, it's a shock which anyone may not recover quickly from or at all. BUT if a person has lived a rich life, and has been plagued with disease and suffering for years, I'm sure, he's happy to be freed of his ailing body.
I will miss Dad, but mostly, I will remember him the way he would have wanted to be remembered.

October 20, 2006

Duty or Love

I did my duty today - but not without incident. Whenever we discuss about me, it's always WITH INCIDENT.
I had to go, it was expected of me - but I had work. As usual, I would squeeze time in to do my duty then scoot off to work. I was given compassionate leave, but it was impossible to leave my work, to hang around.
So, when I arrived at the wake, I did what everyone had to do - pray for the soul of the dead. Then one of them, decided to sit next to me, and asked about whether I'll be there the next few days. Well, to be honest - when a person is still breathing, that's when our presence is important. When he's dead, what exactly am I supposed to do? Bring him back to life?
And so she had a lecture of her life - long time coming too. I am not a hypocritical person - I feel sad not for the those left behind, but for him who died a lonely man. I stay away because I refuse to put myself in a position where I had to focus on insincere people who are merely there for the show.
I had buried a man, a lonely man, who didn't a family, let alone a proper roof over his head. He had cancer, I put him in a hospice, visited him every day, fed him, changed him and carried his ashes to be scattered. I watched a young woman die, leaving a demented mother not understanding why her daughters' body is cold.
I'm not immune to grief - I believe in life. That's my philosophy - love when they are still around, so that you know, you've a pocketful of memories to keep.

October 19, 2006

About Death

The passing of someone brings unpleasant situations most times. For the bereaved family, it's a loss of someone they love. For the unwilling caregiver, it's a relief. For the man who has been left to rot whilst within the family, it couldn't have come sooner.
I cannot understand why a man, whilst living with his grown up children, grandchildren and aged wife died more alone than a lone ranger in a nursing home. By the time the call was made to the M.D. for certification, the body was cold and stiff.
I have no sympathy for the family.
I feel relieved that his soul is now free.
I stayed away, simply because I believe that when we undertake the responsibility to look after the man, then we should do it as best we could.
Doing our best means, at least looking in on him, talking to him, feeding him and be aware of his medical condition. Forget that he was not a good father because we made him sell his home, to move in with us. We took some cash from the proceeds. We have more than just a duty.
This man, did not die alone, but died lonely.
I cannot bring myself to go to the wake because I cannot guarantee that I can put that aside and focus on just paying my respect.
Call it whatever, but the less I see, the better it is for me.
I am glad, that he left us in his sleep. I couldn't have wished for more, because he raised all of them on his small salary by being prudent. I don't think anyone of them could have done a better job than him.
Death is not always a bad thing, we have to go, sooner or later, but for me, he went in style.

Self Preservation

There are people who would stand up for their rights, yet again, there are some who simply prefer to be like the pavement, i.e. let everyone step all over them.
How do you help people who don't help themselves?
Never mind how tiring and time consuming it is, but, these people sometimes just 'ask for it'. For an educated society, there are groups of people who still take advantage of the simple-mindedness of others. Being educated doesn't mean having a stack of paper qualifications - it's more about being better people because we are well read.
After having said that, I need to know that karma works because I cannot understand how such evil can be let free. This is a girl who worked for her commission and was bullied and threatened into giving it up - all Three Thousand Dollars, just days before her new year celebrations, for reasons that are baseless and wouldn't stand in a court of law.
So it's never about being loud or putting our stamp on our turf - we have to, because the minute you don't, someone like this will come along and shovel dirt your way, and expect you to eat it up, not clean it up, but consume it.
I am for self-preservation - because of these few evil beings running around.

October 18, 2006

The E-factor

I know sometimes we react badly - not by conscious choice but in a fit of annoyance. If we have a second, we may think about HOW we should respond yet most times, we react because of our present emotional state.
For those who are not in the loop, better stay out of it than try to do the loop minus pertinent information, the why, where, when, how, what. Yesterday, I witnessed a colleague, who decided to be part of the cast of a current drama, being slaughtered. He didn't know the pertinent information, assumed the equation to be correct, started his nuclear test with the warhead directed squarely on the Super Power and bang! what do you know? Radiation was leaking and choking him to near death.
When dealing with people, consider the E-factor. We react because we are our own person and we certainly do not feel right when our very existence is being compromised, or so we think it to be.
An apology sorted this almost nuclear war - because there was no trade agreement between them on the E-factor. BUT put the same two people, with this E-factor trade pact and a thousand apologies may not be enough to make peace!

October 17, 2006

Moving On

When do we decide that we had enough of this and choose to move on to that? For starters, all of us, have, at one point or another, been stuck on our white picket fence comparing the shade of the grass. At moments like these, being decisive would go a long way for our reputation. It's bad enough that you're stuck and undecided, but when you just refuse to make a decision, then that is mean. AND when you do it too often, it becomes a habit, and you may end up being a safety net kind of person, instead of living life. BUT then, if you make a hasty decision, then the whole world may just decide that you're just too much.
Either way, it's never a win win situation, when you're up on the picket fence. Never mind the discomfort and pain, you're in a position where you're visible for all to see.
So, before you get stuck on a picket fence, make sure that you're in a position to fall safely. It doesn't matter if under the green is soggy soil or granite, because you would have fallen without breaking a bone - you are prepared to make a change.
We all take chances, that's why the lottery booth has long queues! You have one life, live it - because we get just one shot at it.
Call it self preservation - whatever, but nothing happens without a good reason. If you have to fall somewhere, just make sure you enjoy the ride and LIVE to tell the tale.

October 16, 2006

Hazey Haze

This morning, I could not decide whether the fluff on the greens were mist or the dreaded haze. It's amazing how our neighbours continue this campfire ritual annually and get away with it. Singapore has become a YELLOW ZONE! Everyone was bitching about smokers blah blah blah, yet what is being done about this haze which I am sure, is more unhealthy than the ciggies that smokers light up. Ciggies are certainly less destructive than firewood. And WHO said size didn't matter?!?
Each year, the excuse is the same - they blame the wind direction! HELO? If there wasn't a campfire to begin with, we didn't need to bother about which way the wind is blowing - after all, the pollution still goes into the very atmosphere that we share.
I think the farmers just wanted to get on with their clearing up, PERIOD. Forget everyone else, after all, if he doesn't get on with his clearing, he may not have crops later on for himself. So what if he pollutes the air, saving the earth is not going to ensure he has food on his dining table.
I also heard that to prosecute them is dicey, because of the way the law there has been laid out. Again, BRAVO ! Well done - and I thought we were better at getting away with things!

October 11, 2006


There have been moments when I wanted to just be silly - step outside of my shoes and be free from responsibility - yesterday I had such a moment.
For all the times when I am so sure, I had the shorter end of the stick, I must say that it always balances with these moments at another time. It usually does, life is fair.
It has been a long, but fruitful week for me - but the fruit didn't convert itself to permanent satisfaction, because it never does in sales. BUT in this flurry, I had the opportunity to actually share my morning with a good friend. It's somehow strange, because when we do meet, it's seldom in the morning - I would have had tons of coffee pumping through my veins by the time we do! I'm not a morning person - at least not until I've gone through a pot of good ole black.
For the impatient person that I am, I am thankful that my friends are patient. I was flipping between calls, working through defects, talking, updating and not once, did I stop to say thanks for hanging around. Yes, I had that moment yesterday, when I wanted to tell him that I appreciate his patience - that he didn't have to zip around with me - that he needed more sleep than I did and that I wish I could have said more.
I always speak my mind - always. But never with him when it concerns me - at least never in totality - and so I didn't, because it would have opened up a whole lot more than Pandora's Box could hold.

October 06, 2006

generous or silly

I had a conversation with my boss yesterday evening - and I am concluding that HE rides on the high of adrenalin with no regard to long term effects of being drugged!
Never mind that he's giving away $XX XXX in terms of overriding fees to a salaried staff but when he's drugged like this, he tends to generous to people outside the circle.
I find ways and means to cut corners so that the sheet looks good, YET, he finds ways and means to undo all that - knowingly or unknowingly - it doesn't matter - it's not an excuse or reason.
Perhaps some people prefer to be THE charitable one, yet, during my infant days in real estate, I was reminded time and again, that Realty doesn't work like social services. I have, never again, have the lines blurred. Perhaps it's easier for me to be less charitable, because I'm not a social creature - but then again, the preference to be less social, has got nothing to do with milking the cow till the last drop possible.
Anyways, we need to do what we must - and some just take a longer time before reality sets in.

October 04, 2006

Shorter or Longer

I have had FOUR long days - It's almost never ending. There are times when our memory is clouded - for whatever reason, we cannot seem to get a clear grip of the picture. Sometimes, when we want something to happen so much, we will externalise when things do not go that way. Instead of taking the situation and staring at it squarely, we begin to make excuses.
It's like getting to a destination. Most would choose the shortest and safest route. We would maximise our fuel or transportation costs to a minimum. Of course there will be times when we opt to take the longer route to soak up the view. For FOUR days now, I have had the opportunity to be part of this silly exchange between this group of people, who are on the same playing pitch, but each representing a different game, i.e. one baseball, one football, one rugby.
AND as spectators, we try to shed light so that only one ball type will be in play - yet it falls onto deaf ears, and blur eyes. Amazingly, even the brain cells have totally ceased to be practical in that, they still believe that they are on the same team.
Therefore, when one asks for clarification, one should not only listen and understand the rationale, but one should also take a step back, and think about the realistic situation. Put aside the emotions and think - the answers are usually right there all along. Stubborness doesn't earn us anything except wasting of time - not just ours, but everyone who was helping us. When the shorter route is available, take it - it's not a trap.