the lost sheep

My ex-maid called me at 2am this morning. I haven't spoken to her for a little more than a year and was recently thinking about how she was doing. Life has been tough for her since she returned to her home in 2002 - We kept in close touch over the years but I could always hear her pain over the phone. Finally, she managed to get a job in Qatar - has been there for 4 months. In some sense, it's a relief for me, since she became my god-daughter the last year she was here. Before her pre-paid card ran out, I managed to make her take down the address again, just in case she didn't have it with her, so that we could keep in touch by letter. She asked about my son, whom she help me raise when he was in pre-school.

Perhaps it's correct to say that whatever good or bad in the past, tends to catch up with us in time. Helen calling me is a good thing, because she stayed with me for years - she is 12 years younger than me, and always reminded me of myself at that age. I'm really happy that she's got a job although leaving her daughter back home isn't the ideal thing. The girl is probably 6 now - it must be hard for her, I'm sure.

Well, that's another person that found me, sort of and perhaps the past few years have been a time for me to figure things out and perhaps I took a wrong turn somewhere only to return to some spot where I can fix things. I know she knows that I'm not in the best frame of mind and for whatever reason, she needed to call. She has been trying for sometime, I did get those missed calls, but never thinking it was her.

I wonder if all this means that I need to start taking stock of things - in some strange way, perhaps I need to draw some strength from the problems of others, so that I am able to cope with my personal situation. I just find it so impossible that at a time when depression has taken over my mind, that my close friends, gone for years have surfaced and because they have personal situations which they cannot deal with, I have found a reason not to dwell in my misery. Misery is correct because I was almost at maladaptive.

Although I do not have plenty of friends, the few close ones are always with me and pop up in the most unexpected ways. That's the difference between a ha-ha friend and real friends. We don't have to know so many, just those few who are here, rain or shine - in their own little way, which converts to a lot, to our life. Helen is the last lost sheep to return.