When things start to break-down, as in mechanical things - one can't help but wonder if that's a sign; that it means something; it's suppose to trigger something else perhaps.
I have had 2 mechanical troubles at home.
One - the PCB on one fan coil unit failed after 8 years.
Two - the storage heater started to leak after 8 + 5 years.
And all in the span of 4 weeks.
I started thinking - is this really about moving on, or is it just me being paranoid.
I know at least one of my gf is rallying for me to sell my flat and get something smaller - albeit she doesn't realise that smaller did not mean less expensive in terms of mortgage, since i wasn't about to move to some corner on the island which is almost as good as living inside the malaysian border. Which was why I decided to stay on here, way in the northern part of the island.
But when these 2 items failed - it got me thinking - actually, it shouldn't since appliances do not last forever and it's more than fair wear and tear.
I have been wishing for a fresh start and perhaps this is natures way of making it happen. Change all the old stuff into new stuff - but is that sufficient to justify having been given a fresh start?
So i took a nap. It was just too much for me to process - it wasn't even priority since my papers still unfinished.
I think i'll just give up trying to understand why i always need to rationalise. Why must I always be so bothered about everything? Why must I always be the one who looses in the end? Whether it costs money or not, I always loose.
Fresh start for me should mean, just that, fresh start with new methods of dealing with irritations so that it no longer irritates me. I need a really happy new year.
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