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August 31, 2012

Is 'sharing' accidental?

I never believed in labelling relationships.  Perhaps its from the belief that when we define something, it means there comes with it, some kind of 'refinement'.
For example, people could stay totally committed to each other without having to legally wed, and on the flip side, people could be legally bound, yet still not mutually exclusive mentally, intellectually, physically, emotionally or a combination of either/all.
To say that only a perfectionist would dare walk this path, may not be far from wrong.  If I believe so much in my ethical standing and sincerity, there would be no reason why I must define that relationship in terms the society can understand.  But in all honesty, how many of us are really brutally honest about having the conviction to stay and not to stray just by being our ethical self?

FAR and FEW.

The justification would be that there is a likelihood, people need to be given 'rules' to follow or social mores to use as a yardstick for how they should behave.

BUT idealistic as I am and a perfectionist as well, I have been more committed in a 'yet-to-be committed' relationship than I ever was as someone's girlfriend or wife.  I would have 'cheated' to fuel my intellectual starvation.

So what happens in an open yet committed relationship, when we receive a text message meant for another person?  Do we even have the right to get upset or feel annoyed and irritated at any level?

Yes.

My bottom line is : just because you can, it doesn't mean you should be flippant about discretion.  It is not about 'not wanting' to know - its about respecting the person you are with, to not offend.  Open relationships can remain open only when there is mutual respect for what will still hurt an otherwise extremely understanding person.