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November 16, 2012

One Door Closes Another Opens

Is that really true?
I think I need a reference point - since to some extent its true (for me) and to some extent its not so true.

TRUE
Well, as usual, just when I feel like moving forward, something happens to hold me back, then something happens again and I feel compelled to move forward again, but right into a traffic junction.  THAT is what has been 'trending' the whole of my life to-date.

FALSE
What if the last door that closed (by my own choice) is the last door? What if, by my own choosing, I closed the door that takes me out to this field where there are no more doors for me to open but to just float in the wind? 

I do not feel like it is the last door, yet I am not convinced that there is a blurry vision of one ahead either.  Its like I see lots of buildings but no doors enticing enough for me to want to turn the knob or even recognise its presence.

Its almost like I have lost any shred of believing in finding some friendship which gives me depth yet without the suffocation of being shackled to a stagnant relationship.  Relationships/friendships should remain dynamic since we evolve with the changes that take effect either directly or indirectly to our person.  

So even as I close that door (used to refer to it as a book) I hesitate.
I see the outline of another door (its in my line of vision) but I still hesitate.

Is this the Libran dilemma? 
In a perpetual state of unrest - to always need more, want more - of what? we usually do not know.

BUT even as i have my hands on the door I am about to shut, I have my eyes trained on the door ahead.  
So I guess yes, One Door IF and WHEN it closes, CAN and DOES open another door.