About Me

My photo
Read my blog and figure it out....:)

Search This Blog

May 30, 2008

Panic

This is what happens when as students we are granted an unofficial extension for an assignment.
It's not a very good position to be in, especially it was a extension granted because of a technical error.
When granted this unofficial extension, everyone was obviously happy - 48 hours is a long time when you are trying to tie up loose ends on the paper. BUT, we forgot one little thing - for every assignment, there is an allocated cover sheet, which has to be downloaded and printed out.
We thought about everything (so we thought we did) - dates should be as per the deadline....rubber stamp should be as per the deadline....EXCEPT
we forgot to remind everyone that we should have printed out the cover sheet first because it's dated.....DAMN DAMN DAMN

So now, I'm not sure if that 48 hours is going to cost us deductions or not.

Bottom Line : We should always do things above board. It may be rushed, but then we don't have to deal with the unknown repercussions.

May 28, 2008

Extraversion vs Introversion

Some of us are introverts, some are extroverts.
What's the difference? In lay terms, the introverts may prefer quiet over noisy, silence over expression.
As a person who has almost completed a semester of Psychological Assessment & Testing - I can tell you that a person can feel he's introverted but he's not and vice versa.

In the Personality Assessment we did, I finally learnt how to actually evaluate the scales. Knowing your I or E isn't enough that's why the very minimum scale covers 5 personality traits.

Check this out: my E is almost = to my I
How should this not surprise me - I'm Libran - I cannot even decide on a simple thing as a trait!

From the scores, I was told that I'm not easily agreeable and would readily voice my disagreement without a second thought. Mind you, my lecturer didn't know whose scale she was evaluating. I'm a thinking person, placing very little weight on emotions when making a decision - oh man - that certainly didn't come out positively.
I operate on logic and practicality - my sun sign could have told me that!

This is another assessment that people pay psychologists for - I still don't see the relevance because in my opinion, we should know ourselves better isn't it? But it's cool to know that the scores are an accurate portrayal of me. No wonder it takes a whole lot of time to actually patent/copyright an assessment tool that's reliable and valid.

So, there's no good or bad for the results of the Personality Assessment.
The results will simply help us understand why we get mad, why we get irritated and basically why we are who we are. It's not easy to just have the trait replaced. Almost impossible - because remember, People Don't Change.

May 26, 2008

Intelligence Test - Why?

It never bothered me not ever having my Intelligence tested. I'm an average person, having to do twice the work to get a decent grade. There was nothing special about me, in terms of my abilities - my piano playing is so-so ; my theory knowledge is so-so; my track and field skill is so-so; my grades till college was so-so.
I hear of people having this IQ and that IQ, without really understanding what that entailed. I know how to equate scores, because I'm a Psych major.
I have done free online 'personality tests', which are similar to real personality tests, but we can never really be sure how far off they really are - because for any scores to be valid, there must be reliability and validity that has been proven.
Today, I had a first-hand experience doing an IQ test. It was a disappointment, because I felt that whatever it measured, it still didn't tell me how those scores would improve my situation. The test took a really long time to administer and after all that, I found it to be a waste of time. So what if you know your IQ - is it going to change your life tomorrow? I doubt that very much, because it takes a whole lot more to make your life better - not a score sheet.
To think that people pay hundreds of dollars to get themselves tested! WHY?

If you're reading this, you might be thinking, that perhaps I'm trying to validate my score - but I'm not - I just wasted an entire day - doing the test, scoring it and tidying it up with a clinical report for nothing - I do detest having worked an entire day for something that couldn't help me a bit. I think it's labelling people and may not justify the person as a whole.

I returned a score of above average (+2/3 SD & 75th percentile) - how that's going to help me live the rest of my life error-free, is not something even a person with a higher IQ could answer!
Which brings me to the Personality assessment that I did.....perhaps they are linked.....that will be tomorrow's post.

May 25, 2008

Ambivalent

As I was collating and discussing my final assignment with my classmate, we found out that we both had similar scores on a Psy Assessment. We had to do an evaluation of the scores and I was rather confused, because after all the free online temperament sorters that I have done, I knew myself to score higher on the Introvert scale, however, I finally returned one point higher for the E scale than the I scale.
My classmate told me that he found out a new classification for such results - we are Ambivalents.
Now, I know how I am almost always on the fence about any decision that has to be made, but imagine that I could not even unconsciously decide whether I was an E or an I.
Because life is a continuous learning journey, I suppose it's never too late to understand something about ourselves. When I checked the Psy Dickie, it states Ambivalent as being originally derived from K Lewin's work in field theory and shows up most clearly in the research on behavioral reactions to various forms of conflict. It is a state where one is pulled in two mutually exclusive directions.
What is interesting about being Ambivalent is, I'm born under the sun sign of Libra - the sign of the scales - things should balance so that the scales don't tip on either side.
Question is, is this true of all Librans or am I just a coincidence?
I didn't ask my classmate if he's Libran like me, perhaps I should, and maybe that might give me some comfort.
I don't mind being different, but Ambivalent is a whole different ball-game.
Of course when I say that, it's not how the scores are actually evaluated - I'm merely stating the irony of things. Before any assessment is complete, there is a whole battery of scores to correlate and interpret. Ambivalent is just an isolated area of the entire assessment.
I just thought to bounce that idea, since there is some measure of truth when I'm actually conscious.

May 24, 2008

Psychological Assessment

I decided to assess myself - not that the results would be any different from what I know myself to be, but it's not a worthless thing to do. Assessing people involved with Psych is not an easy task, because most times we are able to see through the questions and have a reasonable idea of the causal effect of each answer - but as with any thing that we do, honesty will reap many benefits. If I chose to be dishonest in my choice then I am only cheating myself.

I must say, I've gone past the crossroads so I don't have major issues going on in my life except that there is always this dissatisfaction with some aspect. I'm a perfectionist - sure - but I'm also a realist and perhaps this tug-of-war is causing me some emotional distress which is seldom expressed and I need to find a solution for it.

Believe it or not - when I was the Administrator's role before, that was the recommended choice of work for me. Jeez. I left that behind some 7 years ago and have been hopping like a kangaroo in real estate making money to do my post-grad. No wonder I'm mildly depressed, i'm not quite doing what I am supposed to be doing.

It's interesting how researchers take so many years to come up with assessments which can actually tell you about yourself - provided you're honest with your answers. I did a battery of them and it's all spot on.

I don't have any bottom line statements except to say that Psych assessments can guide us through the foggy moments in our life, the crossroads - but most times we do have the answers within us. It's not that psychologists are redundant, but just that sometimes, having a third person believing in us, is what we really need.

May 23, 2008

short-listing

Do people know what they want? I think most times, they don't.
In the case of buying a home - some of us work with budgets, some with a little extra would work on the size, some on location. Whatever our reasons for wanting to view a unit, it should at least have a 'shortlisted' start.
For example, if you have an aged parent(s), a lift landing has to be the criteria - after all, having been in social services, let's have some compassion for the ambulance drivers who have to manage the wheelchair with staircases.
So, if that was the case, why bother to even consider a non-lift landing unit?

I'm bringing up this point because looking for the almost ideal apartment would be less tedious, if you know what it is you're looking for in the first place.
Instead of looking at 50 apartments, you should basically shorten it down to 5 and make your selection from there. After all, time is not free and let's not inconvenience other people unnecessarily. By that I meant home owners who allow you to walk through their flat; you, a total stranger!

Buying a new home can be nerve-wrecking, but if we are sensible and work with what's possible, it can be almost like buying shoes. It either fits or not.
Next time anyone decides to go flat hunting, spare a thought for the sellers, who make time for you to visit and view their flat.

May 22, 2008

What's in a label?

What's in a label?
Well, lots of money, bothways. By that I mean, the owner of the label would have spent lots to do branding and the consumer ends up paying a lot more for it.
Is there a difference between a non-labelled bag and one with a label?
Actually there isn't a difference when we compare functionality. A bag is a bag and will function as one. However, why buy a bag with a label?
My reasons are simply because a branded bag is probably made of a better quality material, which would probably survive the harsh changing weather conditions. I have bought $30 bags which do not last my careless dumping of it in the car, on the ground, anywhere basically. Those bags tend to have a shorter life, after days in the sun, rain and high humidity.
Although I am not extravagant ( I cannot afford to be ), my bags are at least a couple of hundred dollars - and it's not because of vanity - but durability.
Watches - again, guilty - I do not buy $10 watches, because my hands are busy all the time - the watch gets knocked about - and I prefer to know that with each passing year, my watch will still tell me the correct time, to the minute. Again, I do not spend thousands on a watch - in the mid-range of the hundreds would be right.
Clothes - that I'm not guilty of. I buy whatever fits and looks right. After all, all my branded clothes are dry-cleaned and I find that too troublesome for maintenance.
I'm not into what's in fashion or in season. I set the season for myself and as long as it fits me and my washer/dryer, it's enough.
So, I think it's important to understand why we spend on what we spend.
I would call this being an intelligent consumer.

May 21, 2008

what getting a CREDIT means

I received a CREDIT for my first written assignment after taking a 7-year break from school. Bad call.
Because I didn't grow up like regular people, I was late in doing my Bachelors - had to finish the school of hard knocks, before working on my academic qualifications, after all, I always did things in the reverse order. I remember Cross-Cultural Psych was the first module I had to do as a mature student, juggling work and home. I got a Credit for that paper - and I remember how I was ragged by my soul-pal - he was a doctor, no less, who did a minor in Psy. He went on and on about the shoddy work I probably handed in and that I deserved that awful grade. He didn't want to hear about how long it's been since I left school and that writing was a struggle. He just let it on - but that one session, made me more responsible, and I made it to the Honour roll after 3 years.
NOW, history is repeating itself again. I got another CREDIT for a start.
A very good friend told me to move on, and not to dwell. But I'm in Dwell Hell - because I handed in this work knowing very well it was deserving of only a CREDIT. My Professor left me a long love note - I was reluctant to read it, not wanting to know just how pre-school my paper probably came across to him - so I kept it in my bag, after flipping through the pages and making mental notes of his scribbles - having half the mind to email him to say that he should sharpen his pencil before insulting me, because at least I know he took the trouble to also be presentable!
BUT after a shower and coffee, I decided to grow up and face the scribbles.
To my surprise, he commended me on my supporting research materials and that I needed to hit the supporting argument RIGHT ON THE NAIL - what I didn't do was to wrap up the argument - I brought it up, but did a lousy job on the finish.
Although I'm still in DWELL HELL - it's probably hell on an elevated plane, because Prof did give me some insight into what I had forgotten & what I needed to oil so that the gears are working smoothly.
So, I'm not mad at him anymore, he's not on my hit list.
I deserved that Credit.
He did a good job setting it right and that's why he's the most talked about Professor in Psych school.

Bottom Line: This is graduate school and we should never submit sub-standard papers if we are expecting a good overall GPA.

May 20, 2008

Constructively Busy

There are some of us who are constructively busy, and some others who choose to look constructively busy. The difference is, when you are constructively busy, things get done; and when you look constructively busy, things don't get done.

Some people are more prone to laziness. It's a character trait, a personality flaw.
There should be some research in this area where studies are done to figure out what makes a person lazy. Some may think that it's easy to get into a lazy mode - like during a vacation when we do nothing but read a book and sun-bathe, but vacations aside - how does a person become so lazy that all he does is watch TV during official work hours? Even housewives have chores to finish during official work hours.

My theory is this:
A person chooses to be lazy because he's really screwed up.
Otherwise, he would at least have some goals or chores that he panned out for the day.
Unless we are bedridden, it's appalling to think that our day's calendar is totally void of chores. Even when we are bedridden, we have goals to set, like physiotherapy to get us out of bed so that we can go about our normal lives.

For these lazy people, doing nothing is part of their normal life.
If they had to do ONE chore, they would make sure the entire world knows about it, so that they can collect accolades.

BUT, instead of just letting their fats hang loose, they look constructively busy by focusing on the news on TV the whole day, doesn't matter if the news headlines are repeated throughout the day, then they read the newspaper, from cover to cover - hoping to get on the Honour Roll of literacy.

You know, when a person gets to this stage, it's best he just calls it a day.
Having him around is like wasting precious natural resources like O2.
After all, the aim of life is to draw our last breath, and see a colourful snapshot of our lives zip by us before the curtains fall.

I think I shall do a research paper on this topic because it's been biting me so much that I need to find a fix for it.

May 17, 2008

it's enough

There was an article I just read, linking natural disasters to omens. I think that mother earth is not just creating this as a wake-up call for non-religious people, but that we have probably abused the very land we walk on because of selfishness.
A person doesn't have to show up at a place of worship to be religious - that's 'showing face'. Being religious is about our inner being - our soul - our conscience - a concept so abstract when compared to what's visible - material worth. Perhaps all the natural disasters are delivering a message to us - that we should stop thinking about getting ahead of each other, and just stop for a second to think about what we have done to our home - the earth. This is not a post about saving the environment - it's about saving us and our children's children.
We cannot go on contributing to increasing temperatures - melting ice - and a whole new climate shift into the unknown - we will end up starving - not from a lack of income, but the shortage of food. There will be a group whose answer would be genetically modified foods - and when that becomes a reality, we will be dished out with another situation we cannot solve.
This is not just about fearing GOD - it's about how we have set free an invisible plague that's causing one disaster after another. It may well be a sign that there is a greater power than us - it may not even be GOD - it could just be our karma saying that it's enough.

May 15, 2008

in 6 mths time.......

The strangest thing about any situation is when you know the ending before the beginning plays out. I'm not talking about being inquisitive about results on the American Idol and checking the results online before the show is aired here - which I admit to doing. When reading a book, I never flip to the last page to find out how the story ends - it would take away the pleasure of reading. So, what happens when I find out something that may happen 6 mths down the road? Today, was that day - a day of reckoning, I suppose.
6 months is a long time, it's christmas season, 6 months from now.
If we all know what's going to happen, will we try to change the course of things? I asked myself that question too many times today - I have no answers, because if I took away that section of my life and attempted to live it differently, I may miss the bigger picture & we all need life changing experiences to grow and mature - that's what living is about.
Although the knowledge of a possibility of something happening in 6 mths has been told to me, I know that I still have responsibilities to see it through this time. We do not have any device that can fast forward time. So until December 2008, I shall continue with whatever I've started and let time take me there as planned.
Perhaps when I was younger, it would have affected me greatly - but now, with age, I know that with each event, we build our strength to take another step forward.
After all, isn't life about changes? When things don't change, we stagnate - and when that happens, we stop growing our souls, the very core of our being.

May 14, 2008

deadlines

Deadlines are useful - they keep us to a schedule of work which could otherwise pile up. Right now, I have approaching deadlines for two papers. Trouble with getting there is sitting down and digesting all that psych mumbo-jumbo and do a critique. How does one critique a paper written by a 'professional' who is probably 10 times more qualified than me? Talk about a tall order.
And so my deadline is slowly encroaching, and with each passing day, I feel like sardines being canned. I have handled this so well in the past - just shut out the whole world and focus. BUT life has changed so much that shutting it totally out is almost not possible.
There are no solutions to deadlines - that's why it's called deadlines. The line is dead, cannot be moved. Like a concrete wall - it's there to stay. Even if we walk away, it will still be there for us to cross.
The best solution will be, not to ignore it but to work on it consistently, as with everything else in life.

May 12, 2008

off the starting block

When we are chasing dreams, we have to always remember to keep our feet on the ground. Contradicting? Actually, no.
Dreams are great but it must be within reach. If it's within too easy a reach, then it cannot be classified as a dream, yet it mustn't be out of reach, because then it's not being realistic.
How do we balance that thought?
There is an article today about a lady who started her business with SGD1K. I'm sure she didn't start dreaming the impossible - but with determination and luck, her SGD1K company is now worth millions.
Let's begin with little steps, steps that we can manage - then with confidence, we take faster steps till we finally run.
Today, my dream got off the starting block - after 4 weeks - it wasn't an easy 4 weeks, because there were people who didn't understand cycles and timing. For me, patience is not my best quality, but the beginning of fulfilling this dream, took a lot of patience, faith and trust in my team. They had to find their feet, their working tempo all over again. With change, comes imbalance and the finding of the balance again. It's the same team, yet the dynamics are different - and it took us 4 whole weeks to get off the block.
How did I spend the past 4 weeks?
I spent a good part of that seeking for assistance and guidance to realise this dream - through prayers.
Because only prayers can give me such patience and the correct attitude to motivate the team. Otherwise, I'm just another person with another dream that's going nowhere.

May 07, 2008

splitting hairs

It's been a month since I resigned and my ex-employers have yet to pay my pro-rated salary for the few days of work. Finally, after 2 back to back emails, they responded saying, that they did pay me already, on the same day as my 2nd email reminder. I wonder what their problem is. The last 2 months before my resignation, all I heard was BEST PRACTICE, like it was some kind of mantra. A no-reply on an email enquiry is certainly not BEST PRACTICE. That was what propelled me to walk away. People have this tendency to talk loudly about things they have little clue about. Imagine talking about BEST PRACTICE to someone who has been trained to do ISO internal audits! For me, business is always about key and lock system - find solutions that fit the job. For them, it's what superficial but if a simple audit were to be done, you'll find that they are not consistent in what they are preaching.
This is the sad state of that company - doesn't do much for anyone like me who actually believe that when you implement a system you apply it across the board. When you hire, you hire people who fit the job specifications, not because they are your stooges. And so this company continues to loose people who can do the job - one ex-colleague of mine joined a rival company and is doing very well, like all others who left.
At the end of the day, it's about sincerity.
I'm okay, if they want to waste time pitting their wits against mine - I have time to exercise my psychological prowess. This is the best part about leaving - you can let it all go in one verbal explosion.

May 02, 2008

My Hands




These are my hands - Bilateral Simian Crease.
The bad thing is, I've spent more than half my life, figuring why people around me never see things the way I do - I seem to work with my own standards, and have the uncanny ability to work on anything I set my mind to with no room for mistakes. I get all riled up when people do not take the trouble to even form sentences correctly and end-up sending out all the wrong messages. It's like "just say what you mean, damn it"; what's so difficult? The good thing is, I know I'm not alone and that I can use the positive energy in me better from now on. I know that no one in my family has this although it's too late to ask my grandparents now, coz they are obviously in the happy hunting grounds. My parents were not alcoholics, neither am I.
I shall take this as a beginning of a new understanding of me and see how this knowledge will change the way I handle hot situations. By the way, for those reading, I'm a Libran - so far, I've read about an Aquarius, Virgo...let's see how many of us, I can find......

Simian Crease

My gf was asking me why my palms only had 2 lines and not 3. For 44 years of my life, I wondered, but never enquired - I know I'm missing a line, don't know which one (until now) and always was conscious about my palm. Because she's my gf who makes sense all the time and I do respect her opinions and take her advice, I decided to do some research on the internet.
So far, whatever information I got, is true about me.
Apparently about 1% of people have Simian lines on both hands. Such people see the world in black or white, no grey....a line I have used many, many times when I am in a discussion/argument. Such people are restless - like me, having the inability to be content, with underlying currents of dissatisfaction all the time.
The good news is, I now know and it's always important to know, because then we can learn to manage ourselves better. Yes, I'm a very intense person - I work twice as hard, I study twice as hard, but I can go on a tailspin too into the dark tunnel. I'm not afraid to do something entirely new - because feeding my boredom is more important to me than anything else. I can never even settle for where the furniture should sit in the house, moving things constantly. Yes, I am gifted - I have the ability to know what can/will happen if I give serious thought to it. I can almost read behaviour of people and pre-empt them without much effort.
I used to think that I'm wierd and I don't fall into any set category of people - I'm not a groupie and I'm very individualistic depending only upon myself to get things done.
When I put a point across, it's always factual, never emotional - people who are around me, do not like to have a discussion with me, because I can come across as being sharp and precise.
Surprising - nope, because I know me, long before, but at least now, I also know why.