This is the season of late nights, drinks, conversations and surprises.
I have been on minimal sleep since christmas eve - with guests and unexpected people showing up at the door an hour before bedtime. When you are younger, it's easy to stay up and function on almost zero sleep. Obviously, I do not fall within that category, because I feel like I'm swimming in this huge pool of people!
I suppose people could survive without much food, but aside from the intake of fluids, sleep is very much a pre-requisite to being functional. Late nights means when I wake up the next morning, my body tells me it's still night and refuses to get the gears in motion. Late nights mean that when I walk, I feel like I'm floating in a mass of people. Late nights mean my responses to conversations become less interesting. Late nights mean I'm unlikely to react on time.
Finally - late nights mean it's christmas season.
Which in turn means the fresh new year is just around the corner.
Which in turn means new challenges, new outlook and new problems.
Thankfully, christmas season lasts all but 14 days, at the maximum - otherwise I'll be sure to be away the next time this season shows up on the calendar.
It's not selfish, not wanting to socialise during this festive period - it's ageing that's doing the talking.
December 28, 2007
December 27, 2007
tis the season to be tired
If there was an occasion to meet, it must be christmas, simply because it's a time everyone, doesn't matter how old you are or which religion your beliefs lie - gather to exchange gifts/tokens or just to hang out. Commercialism has helped to promote this gathering in a huge way. For an almost anti-social creature - this season brings out the best and the worst in me. I detest crowds, hate being rushed, but at the end of it all, will still allow everyone to experience the 'social' side of me, which everyone does have in our persona file.
BUT 2 straight days of socialising has taken it's toll on me - I need respite care.
As always, my wish would be to seriously be away during christmas season next time around - it's not really difficult - just plan a trip out on the 23rd and stay away till the 26th! I have never gone away over christmas, ever - it was always because of last minute work that needs to get done - the timing is never right - and there's too much to do, before the year ends.
Perhaps, I should have that scheduled for 2008 - there are lots of people who travel over the holidays - because the roads are half loaded with vehicles - no traffic congestion in the mornings coming into the business district - making the journey into the city pleasant.
Let's see if at the same time, next year, I'll have a better story to share. My brains are too fried to even make cow sense.....
BUT 2 straight days of socialising has taken it's toll on me - I need respite care.
As always, my wish would be to seriously be away during christmas season next time around - it's not really difficult - just plan a trip out on the 23rd and stay away till the 26th! I have never gone away over christmas, ever - it was always because of last minute work that needs to get done - the timing is never right - and there's too much to do, before the year ends.
Perhaps, I should have that scheduled for 2008 - there are lots of people who travel over the holidays - because the roads are half loaded with vehicles - no traffic congestion in the mornings coming into the business district - making the journey into the city pleasant.
Let's see if at the same time, next year, I'll have a better story to share. My brains are too fried to even make cow sense.....
December 21, 2007
Ragging - it was worth it
I was ragged that day by my colleague about dressing & it's not about dress codes.
Being in frontline work, it's always important to keep to corporate standards - on paper and otherwise. Most of us would dress according to the schedule for the day. If we had a meeting penned in, we would make sure the attire justifies the agenda.
Trouble is, some find 3-piece suits unsurprising.
Perhaps they prefer a more let-your-hair-down image for me - which they do see on fridays, a standard dress-down day for most organisations. Perhaps, on a personal note, we tend to respond according to how we dress. I don't know how much that is true - but since a comment has been made, then it's appropriate to think about it.
I preach the 'don't bother about what people say' rule - but this one needed to be posted.
Our new colleagues had a hilarious time, listening to the animated version of how I was 3 years ago, present-day and what they would like to see. I never imagined that my dressing fascinates people and not always in the right sense !
The person sharing this journey must have been a story teller because the laughter she drew from all around the table was like magic - at that moment, all everyone saw was synergy, inspite of the constant disagreements we have had throughout the year.
I was ragged, yes, but it was worth it, since that drew many wide smiles, teary laughter and brought everyone a bit closer together.
Being in frontline work, it's always important to keep to corporate standards - on paper and otherwise. Most of us would dress according to the schedule for the day. If we had a meeting penned in, we would make sure the attire justifies the agenda.
Trouble is, some find 3-piece suits unsurprising.
Perhaps they prefer a more let-your-hair-down image for me - which they do see on fridays, a standard dress-down day for most organisations. Perhaps, on a personal note, we tend to respond according to how we dress. I don't know how much that is true - but since a comment has been made, then it's appropriate to think about it.
I preach the 'don't bother about what people say' rule - but this one needed to be posted.
Our new colleagues had a hilarious time, listening to the animated version of how I was 3 years ago, present-day and what they would like to see. I never imagined that my dressing fascinates people and not always in the right sense !
The person sharing this journey must have been a story teller because the laughter she drew from all around the table was like magic - at that moment, all everyone saw was synergy, inspite of the constant disagreements we have had throughout the year.
I was ragged, yes, but it was worth it, since that drew many wide smiles, teary laughter and brought everyone a bit closer together.
December 19, 2007
Theme Parties
Theme parties - I do wonder, who was the first person to actually do this. Perhaps it's the boring nature of having a gathering where people gather and mill around with drinks in hand, exchanging the latest gossip. Which is actually not a 'bad thing', since gatherings are for people to gather around whatever.
At the end of October, some adults would gather around for a Halloween party - dressed in gory outfits, but still milling around and exchanging statements. Some functions would request for a black-tie affair - but guests still mill around sharing conversations. If the whole idea is just to mill around and have conversations, then what's with the dress code?
It's not just here, where people need to be told, specifically, what they should use as their party gear - because locals being locals, dare turn up in church, for example, in their flip-flops and beach wear. The whole partying world does have these parties by theme.
I only know how to dress for work, housework and work-outs (not necessarily gym attire). Whatever that falls in between is a grey area and one which my closet doesn't contain.
This year, our corporate function has a Retro theme.
I had to take half a day off to think about it, since we are working first, before partying in the evening. Almost every piece of clothing, not under 'office wear' was under scrutiny - after 4 hours, I needed my migraine sweets.
I would have attended the function, had fun, with or without a theme.
I guess, I wouldn't know why we are having a theme until this evening. Perhaps it will inject some fun, perhaps....let's see
At the end of October, some adults would gather around for a Halloween party - dressed in gory outfits, but still milling around and exchanging statements. Some functions would request for a black-tie affair - but guests still mill around sharing conversations. If the whole idea is just to mill around and have conversations, then what's with the dress code?
It's not just here, where people need to be told, specifically, what they should use as their party gear - because locals being locals, dare turn up in church, for example, in their flip-flops and beach wear. The whole partying world does have these parties by theme.
I only know how to dress for work, housework and work-outs (not necessarily gym attire). Whatever that falls in between is a grey area and one which my closet doesn't contain.
This year, our corporate function has a Retro theme.
I had to take half a day off to think about it, since we are working first, before partying in the evening. Almost every piece of clothing, not under 'office wear' was under scrutiny - after 4 hours, I needed my migraine sweets.
I would have attended the function, had fun, with or without a theme.
I guess, I wouldn't know why we are having a theme until this evening. Perhaps it will inject some fun, perhaps....let's see
December 17, 2007
Before Sunset
Watched an 'old' movie on dvd yesterday - Before Sunset - lots of dialogue but I didn't mind it.
It sort of brings to mind, a reality check.
Some relationships are just accidents.
When we look at the scars of our life - some we recall with an almost real pain, some we remember vaguely. Relationships are like that.
Some will bring a flush of warmth, others just pure bitterness, yet there will be those which brings with it, mixed emotions.
I'm sure there are many who are in safe relationships - and others who have relationships that are trying, yet still in existence because of the responsibility that time has attached to the relationship. AND for the few, there will always be another invisible relationship that their soul lives for - the "what if" , the "soul-mate", or just the "last person who would matter" -type of relationship that comes to mind.
We could have met this person for brief moments, yet the contact would affect us the rest of our lives afterwards.
If we search our soul honestly - I'm sure many of us have memories of someone who affected us so much that the very thought of them brings tears to our eyes - or at least tugs on the strings of our hearts.
For the lucky, they may find this person in their lives each day.
FOR the honest majority - this person lives deep in our hearts, locked in a box - and perhaps, we'll take them out when we dare - so that we could feel, for a moment, a hopeless-state of being - before the sun sets on another day of wishing.
It sort of brings to mind, a reality check.
Some relationships are just accidents.
When we look at the scars of our life - some we recall with an almost real pain, some we remember vaguely. Relationships are like that.
Some will bring a flush of warmth, others just pure bitterness, yet there will be those which brings with it, mixed emotions.
I'm sure there are many who are in safe relationships - and others who have relationships that are trying, yet still in existence because of the responsibility that time has attached to the relationship. AND for the few, there will always be another invisible relationship that their soul lives for - the "what if" , the "soul-mate", or just the "last person who would matter" -type of relationship that comes to mind.
We could have met this person for brief moments, yet the contact would affect us the rest of our lives afterwards.
If we search our soul honestly - I'm sure many of us have memories of someone who affected us so much that the very thought of them brings tears to our eyes - or at least tugs on the strings of our hearts.
For the lucky, they may find this person in their lives each day.
FOR the honest majority - this person lives deep in our hearts, locked in a box - and perhaps, we'll take them out when we dare - so that we could feel, for a moment, a hopeless-state of being - before the sun sets on another day of wishing.
December 14, 2007
'optional gifts'
With each new day in December, the dreaded week draws too near - the week of gift shopping.
Generally, women have been labelled 'shoppers' - because we could do that all day and not complain about our poor aching feet. Although I'm a woman, that gene was omitted when GOD made me. I have zero patience and is the most unlikely person to zip in-and-out of malls just to pick up a gift.
I shall not subject myself to 'feeling' like sardines or be a participant in some 'blue-light' special. That doesn't mean I shop without much thought. I am the shopper who plans, plans, plans.
Before that dreaded week - like the past few weeks, I would have spent time, thinking about gifts. Once decided - just go in the store, pick it up, get it wrapped and put it under the tree.
That doesn't mean one should pay more for things. Trade that few dollars for crowd-less shopping.
'Optional' gifts, on the other hand requires more time because those are statement gifts - gifts for people who do not expect one, but those you want to remember this season for whatever they represent in your life.
The 'expected' gifts are for mothers/fathers/sisters/brothers/gift exchange/kids/wags/habs.
'Expected' gifts - should have already been decided on by now ; if not, then you're way behind schedule - and would most likely be squashed like sardines in a tin, as christmas eve draws near.
The 'optional' gift is the one, which takes up your sleeping and waking moments - and it'll probably consume most of your sensible time - because this gift will be wrapped with everything christmas is really about.
But the noted thing about the 'optional' gift is : it's probably the most important box of all.
Think about it : Look at all the wrapped boxes.
There will be one, that's screaming "I"M OPTIONAL"
During christmas, it's not a bad thing to be THE OPTIONAL one at all.
Generally, women have been labelled 'shoppers' - because we could do that all day and not complain about our poor aching feet. Although I'm a woman, that gene was omitted when GOD made me. I have zero patience and is the most unlikely person to zip in-and-out of malls just to pick up a gift.
I shall not subject myself to 'feeling' like sardines or be a participant in some 'blue-light' special. That doesn't mean I shop without much thought. I am the shopper who plans, plans, plans.
Before that dreaded week - like the past few weeks, I would have spent time, thinking about gifts. Once decided - just go in the store, pick it up, get it wrapped and put it under the tree.
That doesn't mean one should pay more for things. Trade that few dollars for crowd-less shopping.
'Optional' gifts, on the other hand requires more time because those are statement gifts - gifts for people who do not expect one, but those you want to remember this season for whatever they represent in your life.
The 'expected' gifts are for mothers/fathers/sisters/brothers/gift exchange/kids/wags/habs.
'Expected' gifts - should have already been decided on by now ; if not, then you're way behind schedule - and would most likely be squashed like sardines in a tin, as christmas eve draws near.
The 'optional' gift is the one, which takes up your sleeping and waking moments - and it'll probably consume most of your sensible time - because this gift will be wrapped with everything christmas is really about.
But the noted thing about the 'optional' gift is : it's probably the most important box of all.
Think about it : Look at all the wrapped boxes.
There will be one, that's screaming "I"M OPTIONAL"
During christmas, it's not a bad thing to be THE OPTIONAL one at all.
December 12, 2007
What's in a gift?
The most 'dreaded' week is creeping up - the week before Christmas; the week we decide who gets on the gift-list.
Actually, it's not a big deal between mutual friends - bad relatives - or co-workers. After all, we could all sashay into The Body Shop and get our migraine sorted out pronto. The on-the-fence situation would crop up when you cannot decide whether a gift would complicated the already complicated situation.
We buy gifts for people we don't care much about - perhaps to make peace.
We buy gifts for people we work with, just to spread some cheer.
We buy gifts for people we don't know, because there is a charity gift box and it's christmas.
What do we do when there is a person, we care about so much about, but do not wish to overwhelm?
What's the big deal anyway since it's never about the gift, but the thought that matters most. BUT what if our thoughts needed to be guarded?
Let's go back to basics - what's in a gift?
Actually, Plently.
For starters, OUR TIME - we do have to walk a bit, looking for the gift.
Then we need to decide on the pretty paper and colour of ribbon.
Then we have to figure out how to deliver the gift, since we don't have a sleigh and they may not have a fireplace for us to slide into.
So, we did some personal investment of thoughts of the person when purchasing the gift.
The frills on the package is the care that we took, to make sure it's right.
When we hand over that gift, we would have exchanged handshakes, hugs & kisses - we delivered warmth.
If all that already comes tagged with a wrapped box, then there is no cause for worry, since those are probably the things we were afraid of exposing - we are actually giving away a little piece of our hearts, isn't it?
Doesn't matter if the person is overwhelmed.
It's Christmas, and maybe he'll forget about it by the 26th.
Actually, it's not a big deal between mutual friends - bad relatives - or co-workers. After all, we could all sashay into The Body Shop and get our migraine sorted out pronto. The on-the-fence situation would crop up when you cannot decide whether a gift would complicated the already complicated situation.
We buy gifts for people we don't care much about - perhaps to make peace.
We buy gifts for people we work with, just to spread some cheer.
We buy gifts for people we don't know, because there is a charity gift box and it's christmas.
What do we do when there is a person, we care about so much about, but do not wish to overwhelm?
What's the big deal anyway since it's never about the gift, but the thought that matters most. BUT what if our thoughts needed to be guarded?
Let's go back to basics - what's in a gift?
Actually, Plently.
For starters, OUR TIME - we do have to walk a bit, looking for the gift.
Then we need to decide on the pretty paper and colour of ribbon.
Then we have to figure out how to deliver the gift, since we don't have a sleigh and they may not have a fireplace for us to slide into.
So, we did some personal investment of thoughts of the person when purchasing the gift.
The frills on the package is the care that we took, to make sure it's right.
When we hand over that gift, we would have exchanged handshakes, hugs & kisses - we delivered warmth.
If all that already comes tagged with a wrapped box, then there is no cause for worry, since those are probably the things we were afraid of exposing - we are actually giving away a little piece of our hearts, isn't it?
Doesn't matter if the person is overwhelmed.
It's Christmas, and maybe he'll forget about it by the 26th.
December 11, 2007
The sun's Rays
Trouble with being on vacation is, when you wake up, your eyes adjust to a very different view. No structured landscaping, no uniform buildings, basically, a total vision-shocker.I take pictures of views, because I find them rather appealing - it's seldom my eyes would catch the sun's rays streaming down to my visual path...let alone snap a picture of it as a keepsake. The buildings may be nothing to brag about, but the sun's rays are beautiful, no matter where in the world we may be. That is the sense of wonderment that I hoped to capture.
For a person, mostly complicated in all departments, the simplest thing in life attracts me. It's never about whether it's Aspen or living in a 5-star suite that would keep me drawn. It's not about the finer things in life that is visible.
This view of the rays of the sun is hope for happiness for me. Happiness because the rays of the sun represents warmth which generates love.
If anything, we need to remember that without warmth and love, there can be no real meaning in life.
Perhaps some may acknowledge the material life, but they must know that's only temporary - we cannot ever buy a love to feel that love. Love needs to be reached out to, like the rays of the sun. AND it doesn't matter if we cannot touch it - because it's not meant to be touched - you don't have to, because it's like an envelope - it wraps itself around you and keeps you warm. Doesn't cost anything - because it's not meant to be sold or bought.
The suns rays, without which there will be no vegetation - nothing. We would probably cease to exist. That is love, GOD's love.
December 10, 2007
HCMC-Traffic
This is what greeted us at Ho Chi Minh and what I brought home with me. Even when walking on the pavement, we had to fight for walking space coz the bikes came and took over half the pavement!When my gf told me about the traffic and bikes, I really didn't imagine this - so here is a picture, because it tells a thousand words!
It's not the exhaust fumes that will get to you, but it's in the dodging of bikes. They are everywhere!
I never remembered ever growing up with such traffic - sure, even when cars were not a common thing, I never had to be this careful on the roads.
The plus point is, they don't travel fast - so there is time for both to react.
December 04, 2007
Women & Hearts
I have come across some articles about how a stressful relationship affects a woman's heart - pretty often actually. I should do some reading on it, since it's my heart that's being 'discussed'.
Apparently, if a woman is in a stressful relationship, her heart will medically be compromised.
Well, if that's the case, then it's baseless to say a woman is emotional, when she acts up - she then would have every right to be pissed off - because this stressful situation may cause her heart to be impaired.
Of course, there are women, who are made up of tougher substance - and no amount of disgust or hurt could generate drastic, negative reaction. BUT the majority of women are just normal people, made up of regular cells. I'm sure GOD did not decide to scale down on ingredients deliberately or worse still, run out of the 'good' stuff and just used what was available.
I wonder why men are not affected like this.
Perhaps it's the extra ingredient GOD included, the male ego.
Perhaps this ingredient acts like some insulation/protective cover from grave hurt.
This is a very interesting point.
Women seem to always have the shorter end of the stick - and I'm sure we didn't get there because we chose it to be that way.
My heart has been broken, many times over.
Usually magic glue would fix it - how many years it took off my life, I wouldn't know.
The strange thing is, I actually feel how broken and scarred it is.
Having read such references too often these few weeks, made me wonder if my heart could ever mend. Before the cut heals, another scratch bleeds.
Either I get myself another heart, or I should go get a shot of the male ego.
The male ego may just keep my heart safe enough from any other 'abuse'.
Then perhaps I'll be able to find the correct love and end the book right.
Apparently, if a woman is in a stressful relationship, her heart will medically be compromised.
Well, if that's the case, then it's baseless to say a woman is emotional, when she acts up - she then would have every right to be pissed off - because this stressful situation may cause her heart to be impaired.
Of course, there are women, who are made up of tougher substance - and no amount of disgust or hurt could generate drastic, negative reaction. BUT the majority of women are just normal people, made up of regular cells. I'm sure GOD did not decide to scale down on ingredients deliberately or worse still, run out of the 'good' stuff and just used what was available.
I wonder why men are not affected like this.
Perhaps it's the extra ingredient GOD included, the male ego.
Perhaps this ingredient acts like some insulation/protective cover from grave hurt.
This is a very interesting point.
Women seem to always have the shorter end of the stick - and I'm sure we didn't get there because we chose it to be that way.
My heart has been broken, many times over.
Usually magic glue would fix it - how many years it took off my life, I wouldn't know.
The strange thing is, I actually feel how broken and scarred it is.
Having read such references too often these few weeks, made me wonder if my heart could ever mend. Before the cut heals, another scratch bleeds.
Either I get myself another heart, or I should go get a shot of the male ego.
The male ego may just keep my heart safe enough from any other 'abuse'.
Then perhaps I'll be able to find the correct love and end the book right.
December 03, 2007
Image
When is a comment, sexist?
Why do women always become a target of such insensitive remarks?
My boss, who is male, but not oozing with sexuality made a comment before the weekend, about our agents, not being 'up to the mark' in the image department. Because of that, he has decided that for the next upmarket job, we need to hire part-time models, in place of the agents, for the presentation bit.
That was really rude - because he apparently hasn't taken a good look at himself in the mirror lately - he's overweight and doesn't even have a visible waistline.
The remark was callous and definately not fair to the agents, who do perform. They may not be the next miss singapore, but they are decent enough in the image department.
Corporate image is about looking well-groomed.
Corporate image is also about having usable grey matter between the ears.
The last I looked, we are in a serious business - how did we end up having to hire sex?
Is this the correct corporate image?
We are so corporate that we will 'sell' our employees to get a contract?
Is this what male bosses are really made of?
That anything in a mini-skirt will do?
Apparently, for this male it's all that matters.
Females are not females unless they are oozing with wanton.
No wonder, some women get into this feminist thing.
They probably went head-on with too many men who cannot think beyond the bed.
That is not image, that is what's lacking in their life, which they are trying to cultivate in their workplace.
Why do women always become a target of such insensitive remarks?
My boss, who is male, but not oozing with sexuality made a comment before the weekend, about our agents, not being 'up to the mark' in the image department. Because of that, he has decided that for the next upmarket job, we need to hire part-time models, in place of the agents, for the presentation bit.
That was really rude - because he apparently hasn't taken a good look at himself in the mirror lately - he's overweight and doesn't even have a visible waistline.
The remark was callous and definately not fair to the agents, who do perform. They may not be the next miss singapore, but they are decent enough in the image department.
Corporate image is about looking well-groomed.
Corporate image is also about having usable grey matter between the ears.
The last I looked, we are in a serious business - how did we end up having to hire sex?
Is this the correct corporate image?
We are so corporate that we will 'sell' our employees to get a contract?
Is this what male bosses are really made of?
That anything in a mini-skirt will do?
Apparently, for this male it's all that matters.
Females are not females unless they are oozing with wanton.
No wonder, some women get into this feminist thing.
They probably went head-on with too many men who cannot think beyond the bed.
That is not image, that is what's lacking in their life, which they are trying to cultivate in their workplace.
November 30, 2007
'strong' women
Is it a crime to be a 'strong' woman?
As with everything, there must be a difference, either subtle or stark, to colour the world. Some women always play the role of a lady in distress. Some others are like wallpaper, that they just blend in with everything surrounding them. There are probably a whole lot in between, when they adjust to the conditions and react accordingly i.e. lady in distress or quiet enjoyment of their situation.
Then, there are the few who are labelled 'strong' women.
Women who speak up, confront, and are aggressive (by male standards). I have been labelled such, not by one person, but by most who have met me.
The saddest thing is, no one knows just how broken up my spirit is.
I am sure, the few strong women out there, know what I am talking about.
We get the job done.
We have energy levels that's amazing for a female.
We would take an axe to a rotten tree.
We never give any impression that we feel.
Empathy comes easily, yet not seen readily.
When people look on, they think, ah she can fend for herself.
Which is usually true.
BUT very few people would stop to think about what goes on inside her.
That inside is a constant battle - between being harsh, and still having the need to be held - to be pacified, to be tended to.
It's almost a crime that when you are such a woman, people think you don't have an emotional need. It is assumed that you are able to stand alone all the time.
When days become years, the emptiness gets too much, it begins to eat you up from inside.
But as survivors, these women will find coping skills to manage this situation for as long as they can.
Bottom line is, they will cope and survive.
Bottom line also is, but it doesn't mean they are really ok.
As with everything, there must be a difference, either subtle or stark, to colour the world. Some women always play the role of a lady in distress. Some others are like wallpaper, that they just blend in with everything surrounding them. There are probably a whole lot in between, when they adjust to the conditions and react accordingly i.e. lady in distress or quiet enjoyment of their situation.
Then, there are the few who are labelled 'strong' women.
Women who speak up, confront, and are aggressive (by male standards). I have been labelled such, not by one person, but by most who have met me.
The saddest thing is, no one knows just how broken up my spirit is.
I am sure, the few strong women out there, know what I am talking about.
We get the job done.
We have energy levels that's amazing for a female.
We would take an axe to a rotten tree.
We never give any impression that we feel.
Empathy comes easily, yet not seen readily.
When people look on, they think, ah she can fend for herself.
Which is usually true.
BUT very few people would stop to think about what goes on inside her.
That inside is a constant battle - between being harsh, and still having the need to be held - to be pacified, to be tended to.
It's almost a crime that when you are such a woman, people think you don't have an emotional need. It is assumed that you are able to stand alone all the time.
When days become years, the emptiness gets too much, it begins to eat you up from inside.
But as survivors, these women will find coping skills to manage this situation for as long as they can.
Bottom line is, they will cope and survive.
Bottom line also is, but it doesn't mean they are really ok.
November 29, 2007
Asking the correct question
I shall go back to the fact that people do not change. There is no such thing as writing out a program to do function A, and then by the stroke of luck, the program does function B. It never happens.
Phenotypes, that's us, have a complex genetic make-up ; change one click, and something entirely different surfaces. That's the complexity of genes. Simply put, We are coded. For whatever reasons, two people come together, it may be because of those very reasons that it doesn't work out - it doesn't even have to be a fresh reason.
I am a sucker for strays - and that doesn't just include the four-legged furry specimens.
I believe that two people can have a good relationship - provided it's a correct match. BUT we never do know that, because most times, we are so caught up in the working world, social circles, that we do not give ourselves time to seriously dissect the situation.
Pressure would come from peers, family, workplace, that we become a 'groupie' for a moment.
BUT that moment could be the start point of what could otherwise be an uncomplicated life. The cost could be pain, disappointment and discomfort.
I have been there, too often - yet I do believe that there is love somewhere out there for me. I have lived half of my life, and everytime I opened the door, what looked like love was in a box - after some time, when I unwrap it, it's like a stray, needing to be housed. After doing that relationship after relationship - I decided to focus on my work.
There have been many who think I am who they want their wives to be, but never have I met anyone who ever asked me, if they would be the person I was looking for.
My life illustrates that I didn't change, neither did anyone of those people who have come into my life - simply put : No one ever asked me the correct question.
Phenotypes, that's us, have a complex genetic make-up ; change one click, and something entirely different surfaces. That's the complexity of genes. Simply put, We are coded. For whatever reasons, two people come together, it may be because of those very reasons that it doesn't work out - it doesn't even have to be a fresh reason.
I am a sucker for strays - and that doesn't just include the four-legged furry specimens.
I believe that two people can have a good relationship - provided it's a correct match. BUT we never do know that, because most times, we are so caught up in the working world, social circles, that we do not give ourselves time to seriously dissect the situation.
Pressure would come from peers, family, workplace, that we become a 'groupie' for a moment.
BUT that moment could be the start point of what could otherwise be an uncomplicated life. The cost could be pain, disappointment and discomfort.
I have been there, too often - yet I do believe that there is love somewhere out there for me. I have lived half of my life, and everytime I opened the door, what looked like love was in a box - after some time, when I unwrap it, it's like a stray, needing to be housed. After doing that relationship after relationship - I decided to focus on my work.
There have been many who think I am who they want their wives to be, but never have I met anyone who ever asked me, if they would be the person I was looking for.
My life illustrates that I didn't change, neither did anyone of those people who have come into my life - simply put : No one ever asked me the correct question.
November 28, 2007
Pretty Paper
The best thing about christmas season are the bright coloured lights, beautifully decorated christmas trees, christmas carols and the pretty paper they sell for wrapping gifts. I'm never a victim of commercialised christmas, but it does help in keeping spirits up during this dreadful month. Dreadful, because you are either extremely happy or sad, this month. Sure, it's bonus season, meaning, more mullah going around - but sometimes, when being nostalgic, it can tug really hard at our emotional health.
Frankly, even before we actually set foot in the month of December, I feel my heart being tugged so much, it pains me.
I have given thought to my best friend, who perished in a car accident some 15 years ago - never got to say good-bye to her.
I have given thought to my grandmother, whom I dreamt about just 2 days ago - without her, I would probably never have grown up right.
I have given thought to my favourite cat, whose heart just stopped right where I sit every evening - the cat with the worst attitude, yet the most loving of all.
I have given thought to the sadness I feel, in the souls of a lot of people, yet, not be able to fix it.
I have given thought to a sweet, old man, who didn't have anyone to see him off, so I ended up scattering his ashes for him.
Too many thoughts.
These are not unhappy thoughts, they just tug the strings of my heart so much, every December.
To balance this, I need lots of pretty paper.
Pretty paper to draw smiles.
Pretty ribbons to tie happiness in.
Pretty paper, that is a symbol of love, laughter and joy.
It doesn't matter what's beneath the paper - its looking at the pretty paper, that brings a smile to any face.
Frankly, even before we actually set foot in the month of December, I feel my heart being tugged so much, it pains me.
I have given thought to my best friend, who perished in a car accident some 15 years ago - never got to say good-bye to her.
I have given thought to my grandmother, whom I dreamt about just 2 days ago - without her, I would probably never have grown up right.
I have given thought to my favourite cat, whose heart just stopped right where I sit every evening - the cat with the worst attitude, yet the most loving of all.
I have given thought to the sadness I feel, in the souls of a lot of people, yet, not be able to fix it.
I have given thought to a sweet, old man, who didn't have anyone to see him off, so I ended up scattering his ashes for him.
Too many thoughts.
These are not unhappy thoughts, they just tug the strings of my heart so much, every December.
To balance this, I need lots of pretty paper.
Pretty paper to draw smiles.
Pretty ribbons to tie happiness in.
Pretty paper, that is a symbol of love, laughter and joy.
It doesn't matter what's beneath the paper - its looking at the pretty paper, that brings a smile to any face.
November 27, 2007
Male ego, again.
At the work place - differences of opinion are plentiful and common. It is uncommon to have everything moving like clockwork, without the need for grease now and then.
If money is the root of all evil, then it's definately the ginseng that's causing this war.
Head or not a head, doesn't give anyone the right to just force their opinion for acceptance. As experienced professionals, each would have their own rule book that they operate by.
A good leader would listen and make adjustments where necessary - apologise if the need arises and move forward.
Unfortunately, the head of my department isn't half like that, and operates with a manual that has failed time and again.
My colleague fell into this mess and although I'm not part of this equation, I became part of it because both were speaking to me, on an 'aside' basis.
I did what anyone would do. Set the record straight.
When the subject was brought up, I had to input. Otherwise, I felt that I failed as a colleague and a friend.
To no one's surprise, voicing my opinion didn't bring any thunderstorms.
Perhaps, because it was expressed from a friend to another, not from a subordinate to a head.
Perhaps, the lesser of the evil was to give in to what could otherwise be a lengthy exchange with a female who will bash the male ego to pulp.
It was the right opinion and yes, before I laid out my opinion, I had the mincer on the counter-top, in plain sight (of course).
My boss has told me he prefers working with men ; simply because they are not emotional.
Debriefing what went on between the males yesterday - it was emotional - in my book - because in the professional arena, there is no room for : you said, I said; you didn't do, I did; and the one liner that says it all " I"M YOUR BOSS".
And so, with my flippant attitude, I "walked" into this mess and spoke my mind.
He's my boss too, but he crossed the line and someone had to tell him.
If money is the root of all evil, then it's definately the ginseng that's causing this war.
Head or not a head, doesn't give anyone the right to just force their opinion for acceptance. As experienced professionals, each would have their own rule book that they operate by.
A good leader would listen and make adjustments where necessary - apologise if the need arises and move forward.
Unfortunately, the head of my department isn't half like that, and operates with a manual that has failed time and again.
My colleague fell into this mess and although I'm not part of this equation, I became part of it because both were speaking to me, on an 'aside' basis.
I did what anyone would do. Set the record straight.
When the subject was brought up, I had to input. Otherwise, I felt that I failed as a colleague and a friend.
To no one's surprise, voicing my opinion didn't bring any thunderstorms.
Perhaps, because it was expressed from a friend to another, not from a subordinate to a head.
Perhaps, the lesser of the evil was to give in to what could otherwise be a lengthy exchange with a female who will bash the male ego to pulp.
It was the right opinion and yes, before I laid out my opinion, I had the mincer on the counter-top, in plain sight (of course).
My boss has told me he prefers working with men ; simply because they are not emotional.
Debriefing what went on between the males yesterday - it was emotional - in my book - because in the professional arena, there is no room for : you said, I said; you didn't do, I did; and the one liner that says it all " I"M YOUR BOSS".
And so, with my flippant attitude, I "walked" into this mess and spoke my mind.
He's my boss too, but he crossed the line and someone had to tell him.
November 26, 2007
Gift Exchanges
This morning the topic was on the giving of christmas presents in the office - whether people were for it or not. One DJ mentioned that for such gifts, it's probably something people cannot use anyway - therefore, should we actually give such presents.
I cannot understand, why in this time and age, any office (for that matter) would come up with such an idea and not perfect it. In my office, we do have gift exchanges during christmas - but just to make sure the gift is not 'useless', we draw names from a box - then go shopping for that colleague, whose name was drawn. This way, everyone gets a gift from someone, that will not be something that's just a waste of money. Our office sets the minimum amount the gift should cost - and leave the rest to the giver.
The eve of Christmas Eve, we would gather at our reception area for gift-exchange, food, alcohol and laughter. It will close our business year on a 'high', literally. And so I ask - What's in a gift?
Actually, it's just good, warm thoughts all wrapped because it means we took the trouble.
It doesn't matter if it's a bottle of scented liquid soap from the Body Shop, because it's about having someone else who doesn't know us well enough, to take this trouble. It reminds us that gift-giving doesn't have to be expensive.
And when we do shop for our colleague, rest assured, for all other years to come, in that office, we will know one more person, a bit better. THAT is what christmas is about. It's not instant gratification that the season brings with it - but warmth that lasts.
That helped me and I'm sure it will help others who do not mix too easily in a busy office environment.
I cannot understand, why in this time and age, any office (for that matter) would come up with such an idea and not perfect it. In my office, we do have gift exchanges during christmas - but just to make sure the gift is not 'useless', we draw names from a box - then go shopping for that colleague, whose name was drawn. This way, everyone gets a gift from someone, that will not be something that's just a waste of money. Our office sets the minimum amount the gift should cost - and leave the rest to the giver.
The eve of Christmas Eve, we would gather at our reception area for gift-exchange, food, alcohol and laughter. It will close our business year on a 'high', literally. And so I ask - What's in a gift?
Actually, it's just good, warm thoughts all wrapped because it means we took the trouble.
It doesn't matter if it's a bottle of scented liquid soap from the Body Shop, because it's about having someone else who doesn't know us well enough, to take this trouble. It reminds us that gift-giving doesn't have to be expensive.
And when we do shop for our colleague, rest assured, for all other years to come, in that office, we will know one more person, a bit better. THAT is what christmas is about. It's not instant gratification that the season brings with it - but warmth that lasts.
That helped me and I'm sure it will help others who do not mix too easily in a busy office environment.
November 23, 2007
Casual relationships
Is there a need for 'casual relationships'?
When we refer to intimacy as 'casual' does that mean we do not exercise choice?
For most males that I have come across, casual means, anybody in no particular order, plus the no-strings condition.
The relationship is casual enough to be categorized at the same level as platonic, yet it involves touch and some exchange of bodily fluids. It's the same grade, but a different product.
I think social acceptance of this new classification is as widely accepted as any VISA, MASTERCARD or AMEX.
Back to the question. There may be a need for casual relationships, because hormones have deemed that a necessary part of life with approving nods from society - but individuals may vary in how that need will be addressed.
For me, just because it's casual doesn't make it easy in that we loose our ability to choose - even when using credit and debit cards, we have a choice of banks to select for use.
So, yes, casual is ok, but lets not make it indifferent.
When we refer to intimacy as 'casual' does that mean we do not exercise choice?
For most males that I have come across, casual means, anybody in no particular order, plus the no-strings condition.
The relationship is casual enough to be categorized at the same level as platonic, yet it involves touch and some exchange of bodily fluids. It's the same grade, but a different product.
I think social acceptance of this new classification is as widely accepted as any VISA, MASTERCARD or AMEX.
Back to the question. There may be a need for casual relationships, because hormones have deemed that a necessary part of life with approving nods from society - but individuals may vary in how that need will be addressed.
For me, just because it's casual doesn't make it easy in that we loose our ability to choose - even when using credit and debit cards, we have a choice of banks to select for use.
So, yes, casual is ok, but lets not make it indifferent.
Unexpected christmas gift
It's definately christmas season - and a time for surprises. Although very few things surprise me in life, this little envelope did.
The receptionist left mail on my desk yesterday afternoon - usually it's invoices etc for us to clear. BUT this white envelope had my name, company address written in, not typed, which made it look different from the regular stuff. Obviously, that was the mail I picked up first to open.
It was a christmas card from one of my associates.
Unexpected, because they see me often enough.
Unexpected, because this associate will always choose to be the annoying one in the group.
Unexpected, because this meant he actually took the trouble to buy a card, buy a stamp and drop it for the postman.
Unexpected, because it wasn't the usual christmas card that said Merry Christmas.
It said "Christmas used to come only once a year......till I met you"
He even penned in "and wednesdays too - since wednesdays are our sales meeting days.
THAT was a surprise.
Because I'm not the easiest person to work with.
Nor am I the easiest person to be with.
I'm glad the christmas spirit has not been lost in some of us - it's comforting to know that as much as I hold the spirit of christmas very dear, and so silently in my soul, there are others out there who are like me.
Christmas is not about spending our bonuses.
Gifts cannot be measured in monetary terms.
It's little things like this card, that would matter the most to me - that tugged my heart so much, I was actually stunned.
People who observe christmas because the shops are decorated so well, should stop and think about why christmas came to be - because until we understand that, we will be buying gifts just because we think it's about exchanging presents.
The receptionist left mail on my desk yesterday afternoon - usually it's invoices etc for us to clear. BUT this white envelope had my name, company address written in, not typed, which made it look different from the regular stuff. Obviously, that was the mail I picked up first to open.
It was a christmas card from one of my associates.
Unexpected, because they see me often enough.
Unexpected, because this associate will always choose to be the annoying one in the group.
Unexpected, because this meant he actually took the trouble to buy a card, buy a stamp and drop it for the postman.
Unexpected, because it wasn't the usual christmas card that said Merry Christmas.
It said "Christmas used to come only once a year......till I met you"
He even penned in "and wednesdays too - since wednesdays are our sales meeting days.
THAT was a surprise.
Because I'm not the easiest person to work with.
Nor am I the easiest person to be with.
I'm glad the christmas spirit has not been lost in some of us - it's comforting to know that as much as I hold the spirit of christmas very dear, and so silently in my soul, there are others out there who are like me.
Christmas is not about spending our bonuses.
Gifts cannot be measured in monetary terms.
It's little things like this card, that would matter the most to me - that tugged my heart so much, I was actually stunned.
People who observe christmas because the shops are decorated so well, should stop and think about why christmas came to be - because until we understand that, we will be buying gifts just because we think it's about exchanging presents.
November 22, 2007
notes about love
I picked up an article about how relationships have become disposable, and here are my comments to the question "DOES LOVE DIE?"
Love does die, like every other 'living' thing. When cared for, it will flourish, when left, it will wither away, when 'fighting for space', it will struggle and if the fight gets too much, it will give up, not always by choice.
Love is very delicate. She arrives silently and leaves the same way.
Sometimes we think people marry because of love - because why else right?
Well, there are many facets of love and obvious reasons may not be the real reason – which usually resides in our subconscious mind. It sounds complicated and may even put some people off this drug. With that, I don’t mean cliché love – I’m referring to true love.
Some people may suddenly realize they are in love and then just as quickly, fall out of love. Some people decide that it’s time they fell in love and so they do. Some people just make the best of their current circumstances and slip love somewhere in between; only to realize it doesn’t fit after some time. It’s common, hence the high divorce rates.
This doesn't mean we should give up on love entirely. It's intriguing to us because love itself is evasive. If it were so easy to understand, we wouldn’t be half as interested that we end up having many articles written about it.
Love is not a Valentines Day commodity, neither is it a Christmas present – it doesn’t come gift-wrapped – it’s not an emotion that can be exchanged, or bought.
We cannot choose when or who we love.
Love chooses us.
Does that mean we have no say? No choice? What does that really mean?
It simply means, when we want to be the driver to an unfamiliar destination, we better have good directional sense. Otherwise, use a street directory.
Love does die, like every other 'living' thing. When cared for, it will flourish, when left, it will wither away, when 'fighting for space', it will struggle and if the fight gets too much, it will give up, not always by choice.
Love is very delicate. She arrives silently and leaves the same way.
Sometimes we think people marry because of love - because why else right?
Well, there are many facets of love and obvious reasons may not be the real reason – which usually resides in our subconscious mind. It sounds complicated and may even put some people off this drug. With that, I don’t mean cliché love – I’m referring to true love.
Some people may suddenly realize they are in love and then just as quickly, fall out of love. Some people decide that it’s time they fell in love and so they do. Some people just make the best of their current circumstances and slip love somewhere in between; only to realize it doesn’t fit after some time. It’s common, hence the high divorce rates.
This doesn't mean we should give up on love entirely. It's intriguing to us because love itself is evasive. If it were so easy to understand, we wouldn’t be half as interested that we end up having many articles written about it.
Love is not a Valentines Day commodity, neither is it a Christmas present – it doesn’t come gift-wrapped – it’s not an emotion that can be exchanged, or bought.
We cannot choose when or who we love.
Love chooses us.
Does that mean we have no say? No choice? What does that really mean?
It simply means, when we want to be the driver to an unfamiliar destination, we better have good directional sense. Otherwise, use a street directory.
Law of Gravity
Just a few mths ago, the real estate market was bouyant - there was talk about owners seeking very high capital gains, we heard of agents having a difficult time closing the gap between the asking and the offered prices and some owners even were gloating about how the tables are now turned and they finally are in the position to 'call the shots'.
Over the past 2 months, the confidence in the market slipped, inch by inch ; start point : the US.
For owners who have survived the slow market over the years, the peak early this year was what they saw as 'payback' time i.e. time to fleece buyers. They were creaming the market, maximising the profit margins and even turned away good offers.
Now, there is near silence again.
What took the market so many years to recover, reverted too quickly that some owners are still living in their 'heaven'.
Published reports are always positive - after all, it's to keep the economy stable.
I'm glad this happened, because it's a reality check for a lot of owners.
We live in a material world, but let's make money fairly - obscene amounts are great, but when done at the expense of another, becomes greed.
I say, those who are stuck, deserve to be in this position.
Why empathise with people who are greedy?
It's time we separate the realists from the dreamers.
AND at the end of this exercise, we'll find lots of dreamers at fire sales.
Perhaps the heat might wake them up.
BUT perhaps by then, they would need some skin grafts done too.
What goes up, must come down.
Law of Gravity.
Common sense.
Which a lot of them obviously didn't have.
Over the past 2 months, the confidence in the market slipped, inch by inch ; start point : the US.
For owners who have survived the slow market over the years, the peak early this year was what they saw as 'payback' time i.e. time to fleece buyers. They were creaming the market, maximising the profit margins and even turned away good offers.
Now, there is near silence again.
What took the market so many years to recover, reverted too quickly that some owners are still living in their 'heaven'.
Published reports are always positive - after all, it's to keep the economy stable.
I'm glad this happened, because it's a reality check for a lot of owners.
We live in a material world, but let's make money fairly - obscene amounts are great, but when done at the expense of another, becomes greed.
I say, those who are stuck, deserve to be in this position.
Why empathise with people who are greedy?
It's time we separate the realists from the dreamers.
AND at the end of this exercise, we'll find lots of dreamers at fire sales.
Perhaps the heat might wake them up.
BUT perhaps by then, they would need some skin grafts done too.
What goes up, must come down.
Law of Gravity.
Common sense.
Which a lot of them obviously didn't have.
November 21, 2007
so what went wrong?
This is part 2 of the ME and WE syndrome - what went wrong?
For starters, life was much simpler some 40 years ago - People did not have high expectations from life. Their objective was to work all day, get married, have children, bring home the bacon. Their life cycle was complete - they have come to this world and done what they were meant to do. Never mind if they had an imperfect family unit - it was their fate. Remember this word?
Over the years, with progress, open economies and Education - expectations change. From being contented, people moved on towards 'near perfection'. Our society was the educator, the world set the example - of always moving ahead - "a rolling stone gathers no moss".
AND so, settling for second best was never good enough. Years and years went by, and the new concept of 'being the best' became the mantra for everyone.
If people demanded more from the workplace, economy, government, what makes us think that we would stop at wanting more from a relationship. We all have relationships with our workplace, economy and the government, don't we? Don't we strive to get the best workplace choice to work in? Don't we hope for a better economy? Don't we vote for the best government? So why can't we want a better relationship? It goes with the territory.
Its strange how society demands Excellence, yet when couples need the same from a relationship, it's seen as a problem.
Break-ups are not pretty.
But unhappy relationships are ugly.
Bottom line is : grow up and move on.
I do not remember a time when the slogan was "anything goes" - it has always been excellence, the best, etc etc etc. AND so, we grew to expect the best out of anything, Relationships included, because there was no Exception clause.
For starters, life was much simpler some 40 years ago - People did not have high expectations from life. Their objective was to work all day, get married, have children, bring home the bacon. Their life cycle was complete - they have come to this world and done what they were meant to do. Never mind if they had an imperfect family unit - it was their fate. Remember this word?
Over the years, with progress, open economies and Education - expectations change. From being contented, people moved on towards 'near perfection'. Our society was the educator, the world set the example - of always moving ahead - "a rolling stone gathers no moss".
AND so, settling for second best was never good enough. Years and years went by, and the new concept of 'being the best' became the mantra for everyone.
If people demanded more from the workplace, economy, government, what makes us think that we would stop at wanting more from a relationship. We all have relationships with our workplace, economy and the government, don't we? Don't we strive to get the best workplace choice to work in? Don't we hope for a better economy? Don't we vote for the best government? So why can't we want a better relationship? It goes with the territory.
Its strange how society demands Excellence, yet when couples need the same from a relationship, it's seen as a problem.
Break-ups are not pretty.
But unhappy relationships are ugly.
Bottom line is : grow up and move on.
I do not remember a time when the slogan was "anything goes" - it has always been excellence, the best, etc etc etc. AND so, we grew to expect the best out of anything, Relationships included, because there was no Exception clause.
November 20, 2007
How did old news become new?
There was this discussion about how the "I" and "We" causes divorce in young couples. In my opinion, that isn't the reason. The "I" and "We" issues have been so, many moons ago. It's nothing new to marriages. The real answer lies just beneath the surface, you don't even have to look deep.
Before we can understand why people choose to go their separate ways, we must first understand why they got together in the first place. Once you've done that, you'll understand how they got to their predicament. It's as simple as that. As the cliche goes, you don't need to be a rocket scientist to know that.
If the marriage was to serve a purpose, and only that purpose, then when the purpose has been realised, the marriage is baseless. Once a person cannot equate in a purposeless relationship, it's only a matter of time before the 'ties' dissolve. Whether it will be made official or not, would again depend upon the current circumstances. If there is yet another purpose to keeping the legal bond, then they will hang on.
It may sound clinical, but relationships are that way.
There was talk about career women having the ability to survive after a divorce, which could contribute to the breakup. Thats again, not just about working women. It's about how our society has come out of the Victorian times and accepted divorced women as people too.
I know of women who walked out of marriages without a single penny in their pockets.
That decision is a personal decision, nothing to do with career or bank accounts.
Once a person accepts that it's what's best, and they execute it, then that's it.
How did we become a DIVORCING society - simple.
We just grew as a society, accepting reality and moving on thereafter.
Forget trying to understand pseudo reasons which makes the 'fairer' gender seem bolder.
We are, after all, reasonable people, with reasonable expectations, and when that fails, just reasonably end the marriage.
Men do that for lame reasons too - we just don't make an issue out of it.
Perhaps society needs to stop having a gender divide when it comes to relationships.
Male or Female, it's someone's expectations and feelings that's being toyed with.
Before we can understand why people choose to go their separate ways, we must first understand why they got together in the first place. Once you've done that, you'll understand how they got to their predicament. It's as simple as that. As the cliche goes, you don't need to be a rocket scientist to know that.
If the marriage was to serve a purpose, and only that purpose, then when the purpose has been realised, the marriage is baseless. Once a person cannot equate in a purposeless relationship, it's only a matter of time before the 'ties' dissolve. Whether it will be made official or not, would again depend upon the current circumstances. If there is yet another purpose to keeping the legal bond, then they will hang on.
It may sound clinical, but relationships are that way.
There was talk about career women having the ability to survive after a divorce, which could contribute to the breakup. Thats again, not just about working women. It's about how our society has come out of the Victorian times and accepted divorced women as people too.
I know of women who walked out of marriages without a single penny in their pockets.
That decision is a personal decision, nothing to do with career or bank accounts.
Once a person accepts that it's what's best, and they execute it, then that's it.
How did we become a DIVORCING society - simple.
We just grew as a society, accepting reality and moving on thereafter.
Forget trying to understand pseudo reasons which makes the 'fairer' gender seem bolder.
We are, after all, reasonable people, with reasonable expectations, and when that fails, just reasonably end the marriage.
Men do that for lame reasons too - we just don't make an issue out of it.
Perhaps society needs to stop having a gender divide when it comes to relationships.
Male or Female, it's someone's expectations and feelings that's being toyed with.
November 19, 2007
lights and the way
Everyone was of the opinion that it was too early to put the Christmas tree. BUT as a person who seldom takes 'group' consensus, I went ahead to set the tree up - just the lights. It's pointless to just set it totally up, since the tree symbolises many things and we need to get into the meaning of Christmas.Each season, it takes less than an hour to actually assemble everything - after all, each household has had many years of experience in setting it up and taking it down. This year, being almost a 'turning point' in my life, I have decided to engage myself with this task.
Once lit, I could actually feel a sense of peace. Perhaps it's how Christmas is meant to be - Peace for All.
Perhaps the lights are supposed to show us the way, like the star did, for the three wise men then. We do, after all, secure a huge star at the top. Perhaps, the lights are like how the star was for them, lighting the way.
We need our path to be lighted, so that we go the right way.
It may not be the way that is correct for the people around us, but they are not us.
What's most important is, that wherever we decide to go, it's correct for us.
That's because at the end, it's always about having lived our lives the way it was meant to be.
So this season, lets take in the bright lights, the choir of angels and remember that there is always a way.
November 16, 2007
Way in Way out
It's terribly annoying when you're caught in a situation where you wake up each morning with no light at the end of the tunnel. It's worse when you realise batteries aren't going to help because the mechanism on the torch has failed. So what do we do? Dispose of the torch and batteries? Might as well, since they are of no use.
There are some people who focus on solutions, some others who prefer to find the source of the problem and others who just don't care and think GOD made them 'takers'. They are only concerned with eating and sleeping. Even if they are microbes like parasites, they would need assistance to feed themselves - that is what I'm talking about - people who have no purpose in anyone's life - it's so bad, they cannot even make another person miserable.
It's surprising, but there are such people in existence - who do nothing.
At the very worst, I got irritated - I wonder if such people find that an achievement to finally be able to succeed at something.
The key is in our ability to classify such an organism.
Once you have the classification, then you know what you're dealing with.
So what if we cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.
If we walk further enough, we will see it, because it's a tunnel, not a cave, and if there is a way in there is a way out.
There are some people who focus on solutions, some others who prefer to find the source of the problem and others who just don't care and think GOD made them 'takers'. They are only concerned with eating and sleeping. Even if they are microbes like parasites, they would need assistance to feed themselves - that is what I'm talking about - people who have no purpose in anyone's life - it's so bad, they cannot even make another person miserable.
It's surprising, but there are such people in existence - who do nothing.
At the very worst, I got irritated - I wonder if such people find that an achievement to finally be able to succeed at something.
The key is in our ability to classify such an organism.
Once you have the classification, then you know what you're dealing with.
So what if we cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.
If we walk further enough, we will see it, because it's a tunnel, not a cave, and if there is a way in there is a way out.
November 15, 2007
messiness
What does being messy entail?
Basically, it reflects upon the person surrounding that mess - we may conclude that the person is disorganised or worse, lazy.
If a person is too busy and cannot keep even a table-top clear of clutter, that's not being disorganised - that's pure laziness. How did a person become lazy? I have no clue.
Perhaps it has everything to do with having 'pride in one's work'. If we take the trouble, we will clear up the mess. If we have the 'couldn't care less' attitude, we would leave the mess with the other mess.
I wonder then if a messed up attitude equates to a messed up brain cells. Perhaps their brain cells just cannot fanthom why they must put the garbage in the bin and not in some bag hanging on some hook, to later be put in the bin. Why take 2 steps to solve a problem when there is one single step?
It's in the messy brain cells. The cells probably got so messed up that like arterial roads, they become so criss-crossed that the neat information met with some major accident on the way to the thinking area.
I conclude that if we have the correct attitude, mess could never take over.
A couch is for one to rest on, not clothes.
A dining table is kept clear for dinner plates, not mail.
A plastic-bag is for lining the bin, not to be hung like a basketball net.
Cabinets are for storing, not for show.
When I walk into a mess, it's almost like a Prozac call. I really don't know which is worse, depression or staring at the personification of messy.
Basically, it reflects upon the person surrounding that mess - we may conclude that the person is disorganised or worse, lazy.
If a person is too busy and cannot keep even a table-top clear of clutter, that's not being disorganised - that's pure laziness. How did a person become lazy? I have no clue.
Perhaps it has everything to do with having 'pride in one's work'. If we take the trouble, we will clear up the mess. If we have the 'couldn't care less' attitude, we would leave the mess with the other mess.
I wonder then if a messed up attitude equates to a messed up brain cells. Perhaps their brain cells just cannot fanthom why they must put the garbage in the bin and not in some bag hanging on some hook, to later be put in the bin. Why take 2 steps to solve a problem when there is one single step?
It's in the messy brain cells. The cells probably got so messed up that like arterial roads, they become so criss-crossed that the neat information met with some major accident on the way to the thinking area.
I conclude that if we have the correct attitude, mess could never take over.
A couch is for one to rest on, not clothes.
A dining table is kept clear for dinner plates, not mail.
A plastic-bag is for lining the bin, not to be hung like a basketball net.
Cabinets are for storing, not for show.
When I walk into a mess, it's almost like a Prozac call. I really don't know which is worse, depression or staring at the personification of messy.
November 14, 2007
Mynah (minor) to Major
These two innocent looking Mynahs, frolicking in the hot afternoon sun - they were having such a great time yesterday. Who would think that they indirectly caused my very very long conversation with my phone operator.I tried to send this picture to my email, but it failed and failed and failed. Frustrated, I went to the shop for a solution. By then, my amusement (from watching this pair) was temporarily forgotten. After 30 mins, they still couldn't fix the problem. I went home, only to continue this with their technical support department - and after trying settings after settings - the patient techy found a solution.
He didn't have to go through 2 hours of trouble, hanging on to the phone, reading a 120-page manual and trying to educate a phone idiot like me.
See, if every single service staff has the motivation to just assist in the real sense - I think many many more consumers will be so pleased. I had to go through 2 customer services staff, before I got lucky.
After hours of frustration - I cannot remember why I took this picture. Mynahs becoming Majors - some progression - probably not a surprising one - but we did start out with different 'instruments' - minor problems when left become major obstacles - and by the time it reverts into the minor position - the very essence would have been lost.
November 13, 2007
putting up the tree means?
It's almost mid-november - and there was this conversation I had about when, we should put up the tree. I have put up the tree as early as now - simply because looking at it brings some sense of comfort to me. Aside from freshly fallen snow, the sight that takes my breath away, is a tinsel covered tree, with twinkling lights.
Someone said, putting up the tree too early takes the fun out of the season. I wonder how that is, because if we could for the next 6 weeks, get into the season of giving - perhaps we will be more forgiving and less selfish. If we could do that for 6 weeks, because of a tree then I think that's something.
Coming in to work today, I noticed that Orchard Road, is slowly being decorated with silver baubles against a red backdrop. I suppose, being a shoppers alley, such decorations will encourage spending - after all, christmas is a time for spending. BUT at each home, the tree must remind us of something quite different, otherwise, we have lost the meaning of christmas.
I will put the tree up this week.
Because I need to smile when I am so deep in thought.
Because I need to remember that I need to give love to those in Need.
Because I need to thank GOD for all the wonderful gifts he has bestowed upon me.
Because I need to know that there is hope.
Because I need to feel that I am loved.
Someone said, putting up the tree too early takes the fun out of the season. I wonder how that is, because if we could for the next 6 weeks, get into the season of giving - perhaps we will be more forgiving and less selfish. If we could do that for 6 weeks, because of a tree then I think that's something.
Coming in to work today, I noticed that Orchard Road, is slowly being decorated with silver baubles against a red backdrop. I suppose, being a shoppers alley, such decorations will encourage spending - after all, christmas is a time for spending. BUT at each home, the tree must remind us of something quite different, otherwise, we have lost the meaning of christmas.
I will put the tree up this week.
Because I need to smile when I am so deep in thought.
Because I need to remember that I need to give love to those in Need.
Because I need to thank GOD for all the wonderful gifts he has bestowed upon me.
Because I need to know that there is hope.
Because I need to feel that I am loved.
November 12, 2007
when is overreacting, Over-reacting?
People have this notion that Women Over-react. I don't think that is the correct explanation.
I think there are some of us who are just interested in setting the record straight - nothing wrong with trying to be precise.
When we try to expand a statement/action it's for clarity, it's not for argument. BUT when the other party refuses to see beyond that, then it's misunderstandings galore.
As a woman, I take the trouble to never give anyone a wrong idea/impression about any subject; to do that, I need to be extremely explicit when making a statement. However, often, if the other party is male (like my boss), he would say that's me being super-reactive, followed by the phrase "AH YOU WOMEN"
My boss is so fixated on AH WE WOMEN, that he always misses the point.
If we had an exclusive right to sell a development and the owner puts up a sign to sell an unsold unit himself (breaching the contract he has with us) - how would one react?
Professionally, I didn't give out a clue about how annoyed I was - but privately, I was scheming to fix this. That one sign upset 6 associates, who squat there rain or shine.
Are they over-reacting when they tell me that they are refusing to work there anymore?
I don't think so.
They have as much a right to be there as the contract permits. As an owner, he can do whatever he wants, but it has to be within contractual boundaries, since there is a contract in existence.
To think that these people didn't even mention this 'new strategy' in a courtesy phone call is appalling.
I had half a mind to just explode, but then, it wouldn't solve the problem.
Therefore, I shall devise an appropriate reaction - which would involve verbal exchanges with my boss (for starters).
At the end of this verbal exchange, he will think that I have overreacted again.
Perhaps in his male domain, silence is the action plan, for whatever the situation - even if a judge is going to send you to the gallows and you're innocent, keep silent.
after all, silence is golden and perhaps there is this need to feel rich.
I think there are some of us who are just interested in setting the record straight - nothing wrong with trying to be precise.
When we try to expand a statement/action it's for clarity, it's not for argument. BUT when the other party refuses to see beyond that, then it's misunderstandings galore.
As a woman, I take the trouble to never give anyone a wrong idea/impression about any subject; to do that, I need to be extremely explicit when making a statement. However, often, if the other party is male (like my boss), he would say that's me being super-reactive, followed by the phrase "AH YOU WOMEN"
My boss is so fixated on AH WE WOMEN, that he always misses the point.
If we had an exclusive right to sell a development and the owner puts up a sign to sell an unsold unit himself (breaching the contract he has with us) - how would one react?
Professionally, I didn't give out a clue about how annoyed I was - but privately, I was scheming to fix this. That one sign upset 6 associates, who squat there rain or shine.
Are they over-reacting when they tell me that they are refusing to work there anymore?
I don't think so.
They have as much a right to be there as the contract permits. As an owner, he can do whatever he wants, but it has to be within contractual boundaries, since there is a contract in existence.
To think that these people didn't even mention this 'new strategy' in a courtesy phone call is appalling.
I had half a mind to just explode, but then, it wouldn't solve the problem.
Therefore, I shall devise an appropriate reaction - which would involve verbal exchanges with my boss (for starters).
At the end of this verbal exchange, he will think that I have overreacted again.
Perhaps in his male domain, silence is the action plan, for whatever the situation - even if a judge is going to send you to the gallows and you're innocent, keep silent.
after all, silence is golden and perhaps there is this need to feel rich.
November 09, 2007
Round vs Square
Since I've begun preparations for my PostGrad reading, life has been full of surprises. For starters, I realised that I didn't have a 'study table' to use. What used to be my table, is now my sons table - and as with most teenagers, it's never cleared. Putting that aside, I cannot work on someone elses table either - it may be a stupid rule, but my workspace is quite personal to me. And so, yesterday, being a public holiday, saw me taking out a garbage bag, trying to clear out rubbish, just to find me some place.
My colleague just asked me about using my dining table.
That brought up an interesting point - because I gave my dining table away and am now using a kopitiam marble top round table for dining. Besides being a cute size, it's round, and I cannot work on a round table top.
Perhaps it's got to do with the surface area that's limited i.e. not enough space to spread out the books. That's one logical reason.
BUT I have another strange reason which has to do with a round top not having straight lines as sides, but a circumference which has no end/beginning. It doesn't make sense, but it's me we're talking about, and I'm what most would term "strange". How do I study, on a table top that doesn't have an edge? It may affect me psychologically and have me going in circles!
This may have some measure of truth in it, because when we search for a work table, how often do we come across one with a round top? Honestly, is there one?
I may not be so strange after all, because from today, I will begin to take note of furniture shops and the range of study tables they carry - I'm confident I won't find any which is round.
I rest my case.
My colleague just asked me about using my dining table.
That brought up an interesting point - because I gave my dining table away and am now using a kopitiam marble top round table for dining. Besides being a cute size, it's round, and I cannot work on a round table top.
Perhaps it's got to do with the surface area that's limited i.e. not enough space to spread out the books. That's one logical reason.
BUT I have another strange reason which has to do with a round top not having straight lines as sides, but a circumference which has no end/beginning. It doesn't make sense, but it's me we're talking about, and I'm what most would term "strange". How do I study, on a table top that doesn't have an edge? It may affect me psychologically and have me going in circles!
This may have some measure of truth in it, because when we search for a work table, how often do we come across one with a round top? Honestly, is there one?
I may not be so strange after all, because from today, I will begin to take note of furniture shops and the range of study tables they carry - I'm confident I won't find any which is round.
I rest my case.
November 07, 2007
dog eat dog
Many would have come across a situation where sharpness of mind and quick reaction is much required. This is especially so in the sales and marketing industry - where it's fondly termed a "dog eat dog" world.
What I cannot understand is the absolute necessity for it.
I am on the camp that says - equal opportunities and professionalism.
As a department which relies a lot on advertisements - there would be a certain person we liase with over the phone for placements. Over time, rapport is built between this person and members of the department. Suddenly, when a huge advert appears, a dog comes barking around the corner, offering the department corporate services for future placements. When told politely that we are comfortable with the current arrangements, this dog went on to say that he could offer us artwork input etc, silly thing though, since the current person does the same.
Perhaps he missed the module that mentioned the importance of building rapport with the clients.
He must think he's some pedigree since he kept bulldozing his way into getting an appointment with me. Pedigree or not, on principle, if someone has been serving you for so long with no confusion, why change?
It's almost like how some banks work.
When you need money, they don't lend you.
When you have money, they want you to be their client.
It's a dog eat dog world.
He may need a new account to manage, but I'm happy with my current arrangement.
Although this lady may just be a tele-sales person, our account is hers, because she worked hard to gain our support. He may have a higher designation than her, but so what?
Let's be fair in work - everyone is earning a living - why do we have to grab income that isn't ours?
What I cannot understand is the absolute necessity for it.
I am on the camp that says - equal opportunities and professionalism.
As a department which relies a lot on advertisements - there would be a certain person we liase with over the phone for placements. Over time, rapport is built between this person and members of the department. Suddenly, when a huge advert appears, a dog comes barking around the corner, offering the department corporate services for future placements. When told politely that we are comfortable with the current arrangements, this dog went on to say that he could offer us artwork input etc, silly thing though, since the current person does the same.
Perhaps he missed the module that mentioned the importance of building rapport with the clients.
He must think he's some pedigree since he kept bulldozing his way into getting an appointment with me. Pedigree or not, on principle, if someone has been serving you for so long with no confusion, why change?
It's almost like how some banks work.
When you need money, they don't lend you.
When you have money, they want you to be their client.
It's a dog eat dog world.
He may need a new account to manage, but I'm happy with my current arrangement.
Although this lady may just be a tele-sales person, our account is hers, because she worked hard to gain our support. He may have a higher designation than her, but so what?
Let's be fair in work - everyone is earning a living - why do we have to grab income that isn't ours?
November 06, 2007
years end
We are definately at years end, because the weather's cooled a bit and we are seeing wet days more. The great thing about getting here is the thought that we get to start a fresh year soon, and hopefully with better achievements at the next year's end.
I don't see it as another year gone by, another year older - as much as the new year being 'fresh'. Although time is of the essence in life, any opportunity to do something differently is an opportunity to be enjoyed.
After all, life is to be lived in tandem with the passing of time.
As a person who doesn't make resolutions, it doesn't mean I have no objectives set. It simply means, I do not make an occasion out of it.
I will get to next years end, hopefully with an arm load of decent grades, and use that to chart my target for the following year.
There isn't anything else that I look forward to except for my passion in further readings.
Sadly, I have come to that point in my life, where everything is laid out and on auto-pilot - no fresh outbursts or surprises that could change the entire direction of where mundane-ness changes route.
Let the countdown begin - to year 2008 and something new for me to do.
I don't see it as another year gone by, another year older - as much as the new year being 'fresh'. Although time is of the essence in life, any opportunity to do something differently is an opportunity to be enjoyed.
After all, life is to be lived in tandem with the passing of time.
As a person who doesn't make resolutions, it doesn't mean I have no objectives set. It simply means, I do not make an occasion out of it.
I will get to next years end, hopefully with an arm load of decent grades, and use that to chart my target for the following year.
There isn't anything else that I look forward to except for my passion in further readings.
Sadly, I have come to that point in my life, where everything is laid out and on auto-pilot - no fresh outbursts or surprises that could change the entire direction of where mundane-ness changes route.
Let the countdown begin - to year 2008 and something new for me to do.
November 05, 2007
explain Intelligence
When is a person 'intelligent'?
Some would say, its academic - which is the general opinion.
Tell a parent "your child is intelligent" and 99% of the time, they will assume that we have used an academic yardstick to come to that conclusion.
That brings me to the next part - is it better to be intelligent academically, or just intelligent. Is there such a thing in the first place?
I think there is.
People who are intelligent academically, may not be intelligent practically. This simply means, in life, there are 2 schools : The academic school, and the school of hard knocks. There will be some who excel in both, but most times, it's one or the other.
The school of hard knocks is one institution where there are no books, just plain common sense and the drive to get ahead. It may be an easier route to graduate from, not requiring many hours of midnight oil burnings, but it's really not that easy, because the variables are many.
The academic school operates within a given, set syllabus - digest that and you are almost home free.
So, when a colleague asked me if I was ever an intelligent kid - I answered in the negative. I only managed Bs with an occasional A. Got very involved in inter-school activities, and basically, hardly spent much time digesting materials.
Whatever I learnt, it was from the school of hard knocks - mucked around, figured things out and just drove myself nuts trying to 'graduate'.
I think the most important thing is not whether we are academically intelligent but whether we are driven.
If we are driven, we can achieve.
And with that, we survive and do well.
That, is intelligence - the ability to adapt CORRECTLY to the situation.
Some would say, its academic - which is the general opinion.
Tell a parent "your child is intelligent" and 99% of the time, they will assume that we have used an academic yardstick to come to that conclusion.
That brings me to the next part - is it better to be intelligent academically, or just intelligent. Is there such a thing in the first place?
I think there is.
People who are intelligent academically, may not be intelligent practically. This simply means, in life, there are 2 schools : The academic school, and the school of hard knocks. There will be some who excel in both, but most times, it's one or the other.
The school of hard knocks is one institution where there are no books, just plain common sense and the drive to get ahead. It may be an easier route to graduate from, not requiring many hours of midnight oil burnings, but it's really not that easy, because the variables are many.
The academic school operates within a given, set syllabus - digest that and you are almost home free.
So, when a colleague asked me if I was ever an intelligent kid - I answered in the negative. I only managed Bs with an occasional A. Got very involved in inter-school activities, and basically, hardly spent much time digesting materials.
Whatever I learnt, it was from the school of hard knocks - mucked around, figured things out and just drove myself nuts trying to 'graduate'.
I think the most important thing is not whether we are academically intelligent but whether we are driven.
If we are driven, we can achieve.
And with that, we survive and do well.
That, is intelligence - the ability to adapt CORRECTLY to the situation.
November 02, 2007
priorities
We are 2 months shy of 2008 - and after a long while, I do have something to look forward to. My postgrad term begins in Feb and I have confirmed my place.
I think it's important to get right down to 'business' instead of just floating, a state I have been for at least 2 years. The strange thing is, I have been going after this program since year 2000 when it was about to be offered.
Imagine if I had gotten right down to it years ago - today, I may have completed the entire programme. BUT we know it's too difficult to make such a commitment when we have budgets to balance and a child to oversee. My priorities the past 2 years have been my son. I needed to stabilise him and even if that meant postponing my plans, it is the responsible thing to do.
Perhaps it's not always about getting down to it now, in the present.
Perhaps it's always about priorities and responsibilities and how we adjust them to the present.
There is never a right or wrong time to pursue our ambition - because an ambition could last a lifetime.
According to my initial plan, I am overdue for this programme.
BUT in reality, it's probably the soonest I could commence the course.
4 years ago, the dynamics of my home environment changed.
That affected my son.
I had to settle him down, get him to focus on his PSLE, then settle in to secondary school....this year, was a secondary 2 streaming for him.
Time flies, but never fast enough when it comes to kids.
He's alright now, and I thank GOD for giving me the strength to put all my dreams on the back-burner for a few years and still have a warm pot today.
I think it's important to get right down to 'business' instead of just floating, a state I have been for at least 2 years. The strange thing is, I have been going after this program since year 2000 when it was about to be offered.
Imagine if I had gotten right down to it years ago - today, I may have completed the entire programme. BUT we know it's too difficult to make such a commitment when we have budgets to balance and a child to oversee. My priorities the past 2 years have been my son. I needed to stabilise him and even if that meant postponing my plans, it is the responsible thing to do.
Perhaps it's not always about getting down to it now, in the present.
Perhaps it's always about priorities and responsibilities and how we adjust them to the present.
There is never a right or wrong time to pursue our ambition - because an ambition could last a lifetime.
According to my initial plan, I am overdue for this programme.
BUT in reality, it's probably the soonest I could commence the course.
4 years ago, the dynamics of my home environment changed.
That affected my son.
I had to settle him down, get him to focus on his PSLE, then settle in to secondary school....this year, was a secondary 2 streaming for him.
Time flies, but never fast enough when it comes to kids.
He's alright now, and I thank GOD for giving me the strength to put all my dreams on the back-burner for a few years and still have a warm pot today.
November 01, 2007
how it's supposed to be.
Do things usually work out the way it's supposed to be?
Often, I wonder. I'm very sure, all of us do, at some point in time or other.
It's different from being a believer of FATE & DESTINY.
People who believe in fate and destiny, may not necessarily fight for what they really want. They may be the type who just cruise through life and accept whatever life offers them.
I work towards a goal and try my best to achieve it.
I may even steer clear of other options whilst on course, so to speak.
Never will anyone catch me sitting down and hoping for the best.
I am not a believer of FATE & DESTINY. I believe that no matter what happens, it'll turn out to be the best solution for me, although it may not seem that way in the present.
It may seem like a comforting stance to take, especially when things don't work out the way we had planned.
We hold high aspirations for our child, hoping against hope that they will excel in school. It's what all parents do.
When the child returns with exam results, which doesn't meet our expectations at first glance, do we get upset?
Yesterday, my son told me he missed making it into a class taking A-Math i.e. no double math for him.
I remember that through out this term, I was harping about getting into the best class - yesterday, I was relieved.
Probing my mind, I understood why.
Next year, I'll be having exams of my own - in fact every 10 odd weeks, leaving me with much less time to help him unstuck A-Math.
I know there is such a thing as tuition, but it's not my preferred option for him.
He has managed fine on his own, and just because A-Math was offered to only the best, doesn't mean its bad news.
He's able to continue self-studying, whilst I busy myself with my post-grad. How bad a news can that be? It just worked out for both of us - it's how it's supposed to be.
Often, I wonder. I'm very sure, all of us do, at some point in time or other.
It's different from being a believer of FATE & DESTINY.
People who believe in fate and destiny, may not necessarily fight for what they really want. They may be the type who just cruise through life and accept whatever life offers them.
I work towards a goal and try my best to achieve it.
I may even steer clear of other options whilst on course, so to speak.
Never will anyone catch me sitting down and hoping for the best.
I am not a believer of FATE & DESTINY. I believe that no matter what happens, it'll turn out to be the best solution for me, although it may not seem that way in the present.
It may seem like a comforting stance to take, especially when things don't work out the way we had planned.
We hold high aspirations for our child, hoping against hope that they will excel in school. It's what all parents do.
When the child returns with exam results, which doesn't meet our expectations at first glance, do we get upset?
Yesterday, my son told me he missed making it into a class taking A-Math i.e. no double math for him.
I remember that through out this term, I was harping about getting into the best class - yesterday, I was relieved.
Probing my mind, I understood why.
Next year, I'll be having exams of my own - in fact every 10 odd weeks, leaving me with much less time to help him unstuck A-Math.
I know there is such a thing as tuition, but it's not my preferred option for him.
He has managed fine on his own, and just because A-Math was offered to only the best, doesn't mean its bad news.
He's able to continue self-studying, whilst I busy myself with my post-grad. How bad a news can that be? It just worked out for both of us - it's how it's supposed to be.
October 31, 2007
finishing the race
I have been working here, grudgingly for 2.5 years. Many times I have wanted to quit. Too many times, I have walked right into a yellow box, not sure which way to take a turn.
This year was the worst year in terms of fire-fighting. Had to fight my way, to get the quota proportion correct - upset a string of people along the way, tidied up the team and working system - but never did I think it was because i needed more income.
We all need money, that's why we work.
BUT money doesn't buy us happiness or work security.
It buys us a whole lot of other things.
I've plodded on here, and did all those things, to make a pathway for the next 2 years, when I'll be swimming with my books - not a good idea to start anew and then have to juggle a new schedule aside from the term exams, 8 terms of it.
I have said NO - leave me alone here.
BUT apparently, the person offering me this 'job' doesn't have that word in his vocabulary.
I cannot go back to square one, start all over again, build up a team all over again, and build up a business all over again.
it's too time consuming.
they are prepared to give me a good package - monetary terms.
Now, if we all are gunning for more money all the time, in terms of our package, when does it all end?
I want more money, but not at the expense of going back to square one.
I feel that, if we keep going to the start line, we will never finish the race.
This year was the worst year in terms of fire-fighting. Had to fight my way, to get the quota proportion correct - upset a string of people along the way, tidied up the team and working system - but never did I think it was because i needed more income.
We all need money, that's why we work.
BUT money doesn't buy us happiness or work security.
It buys us a whole lot of other things.
I've plodded on here, and did all those things, to make a pathway for the next 2 years, when I'll be swimming with my books - not a good idea to start anew and then have to juggle a new schedule aside from the term exams, 8 terms of it.
I have said NO - leave me alone here.
BUT apparently, the person offering me this 'job' doesn't have that word in his vocabulary.
I cannot go back to square one, start all over again, build up a team all over again, and build up a business all over again.
it's too time consuming.
they are prepared to give me a good package - monetary terms.
Now, if we all are gunning for more money all the time, in terms of our package, when does it all end?
I want more money, but not at the expense of going back to square one.
I feel that, if we keep going to the start line, we will never finish the race.
October 29, 2007
missing someone - a mindless moment?
What does a person do, when they are missing someone?
I guess a lot depends on their current circumstances. BUT first, how do we qualify 'miss'?
Relationships are strange, in that, there are the spoken, unspoken, imagined or even 'robbed' ones. Whichever it is that describes a relationship, it's complex by it's own right. Whichever a relationship it is, it involves two people and chemistry.
When we feel a tug-of-war going on in our hearts, and our stomach flutters even with a fleeting thought of that person, then that's obvious chemistry. In the absence of that person, thoughts of that person will bring on smiles and a flush of warmth.
So what do we do, when we are caught in this mindless moment?
Some would share that with a close friend.
Some would just hold that moment deeply.
It's a gift and a curse, to be so entwined with this because there may never be any closures for this situation.
Yet, we tempt fate and expose ourselves.
Perhaps just one fleeting moment of missing someone makes up for all the sadness, incompleteness that is the void we truthfully feel in the core of our souls.
I guess a lot depends on their current circumstances. BUT first, how do we qualify 'miss'?
Relationships are strange, in that, there are the spoken, unspoken, imagined or even 'robbed' ones. Whichever it is that describes a relationship, it's complex by it's own right. Whichever a relationship it is, it involves two people and chemistry.
When we feel a tug-of-war going on in our hearts, and our stomach flutters even with a fleeting thought of that person, then that's obvious chemistry. In the absence of that person, thoughts of that person will bring on smiles and a flush of warmth.
So what do we do, when we are caught in this mindless moment?
Some would share that with a close friend.
Some would just hold that moment deeply.
It's a gift and a curse, to be so entwined with this because there may never be any closures for this situation.
Yet, we tempt fate and expose ourselves.
Perhaps just one fleeting moment of missing someone makes up for all the sadness, incompleteness that is the void we truthfully feel in the core of our souls.
October 25, 2007
Market Reputation
What ingredients go into the making of reputation?
Generally, when we aim for a good reputation we expect that the perception (of us) is positive. This merely implies that generally, people respond positively to the idea of us.
When a representative from an organisation tells me that they are concerned about their reputation, it would seem quite strange, since it's not a large organisation to begin with, making them a less obvious topic of conversation.
To make this even more confusing, these people think that omitting a buffet spread (on the day of the launch) may affect their reputation. How does food equate with sales, when you're not in the food business?
Sure, bells and whistles will attract attention and attendance - but if your product is not haute-couture and you have priced your item as one - food is not going to cook the books.
Why pay $500 for a hand-carry when there are others going for $50?
It's vanity - label owners go through lengths to get their line recognised in advertising and promotions - and the TOTAL quality in the product warrants the price tag.
BUT when a sweat-shop label tags an item as haute-couture, then they jolly well have some highly priced fabric and workmanship to support the price - otherwise, it is just another sweat-shop reproduction.
Reputation is not about hiding the true value of the item being sold.
It's about consistency in quality.
It's about honesty.
It's about delivery.
It's value for money.
When you have overpriced yourself, then reputation should be your last worry, because either you make the adjustments or the market will determine when your existence expires.
Generally, when we aim for a good reputation we expect that the perception (of us) is positive. This merely implies that generally, people respond positively to the idea of us.
When a representative from an organisation tells me that they are concerned about their reputation, it would seem quite strange, since it's not a large organisation to begin with, making them a less obvious topic of conversation.
To make this even more confusing, these people think that omitting a buffet spread (on the day of the launch) may affect their reputation. How does food equate with sales, when you're not in the food business?
Sure, bells and whistles will attract attention and attendance - but if your product is not haute-couture and you have priced your item as one - food is not going to cook the books.
Why pay $500 for a hand-carry when there are others going for $50?
It's vanity - label owners go through lengths to get their line recognised in advertising and promotions - and the TOTAL quality in the product warrants the price tag.
BUT when a sweat-shop label tags an item as haute-couture, then they jolly well have some highly priced fabric and workmanship to support the price - otherwise, it is just another sweat-shop reproduction.
Reputation is not about hiding the true value of the item being sold.
It's about consistency in quality.
It's about honesty.
It's about delivery.
It's value for money.
When you have overpriced yourself, then reputation should be your last worry, because either you make the adjustments or the market will determine when your existence expires.
October 24, 2007
"Eye-Wash"
Having been in the work force for too many years, I have noticed that people arrange their workstations which includes 'leisure' pictures/screensavers, etc...something to wash their eyes with, when work gets to them.
One of my previous bosses had Beaches as a theme for his screensaver. Lovely stretches of fine sand, sound of waves even. Whenever he needed to 'get away' for a few minutes, he would let it run, and just admire the beautiful shots of sunny beaches.
There are some workstations with pictures of their children - most are of their kids. Then there are those who put up motivational clips/posters. Some have plants, live or artificial - just to spruce up the desk. There are some others who have feng shui items, like the fortune cat, money toad or the crystal tree.
I guess when we look at someones' desk, you can more or less make out, how that person is skewed. It's not about a neat, organised table. Sure, that also tells us about that person. BUT it's these things on the desk that has MORE than the eye can see.
It's what the person looks out for when an eye-wash is overdue - we work on the computer all day long, and our eyes are tired. So we need an eye-wash...one that will not sting, but one that will bring a smile to our faces.
What do we do?
We look at what we have placed on our desk, because each item, means something. Something that will comfort us for a few precious seconds each day.
Think about it.
The reason why it's on the desk is simply because, we spend MOST of our waking hours at our workstation. It's not just decorative or an eye-wash. It is that person's subconscious mind.
One of my previous bosses had Beaches as a theme for his screensaver. Lovely stretches of fine sand, sound of waves even. Whenever he needed to 'get away' for a few minutes, he would let it run, and just admire the beautiful shots of sunny beaches.
There are some workstations with pictures of their children - most are of their kids. Then there are those who put up motivational clips/posters. Some have plants, live or artificial - just to spruce up the desk. There are some others who have feng shui items, like the fortune cat, money toad or the crystal tree.
I guess when we look at someones' desk, you can more or less make out, how that person is skewed. It's not about a neat, organised table. Sure, that also tells us about that person. BUT it's these things on the desk that has MORE than the eye can see.
It's what the person looks out for when an eye-wash is overdue - we work on the computer all day long, and our eyes are tired. So we need an eye-wash...one that will not sting, but one that will bring a smile to our faces.
What do we do?
We look at what we have placed on our desk, because each item, means something. Something that will comfort us for a few precious seconds each day.
Think about it.
The reason why it's on the desk is simply because, we spend MOST of our waking hours at our workstation. It's not just decorative or an eye-wash. It is that person's subconscious mind.
October 23, 2007
grooming
What's the difference between looking good and being well-groomed?
I guess, when a person looks good, it's in the face - must have the all appealing face, without blemishes i.e. relatively good skin, and having the face proportionately arranged.
Being well-groomed means, a person could just be average in terms of how they look i.e. face, but the extra care taken to dress, carry oneself, makes the person attractive too.
I am not one for looks, simply because we all know that it may just be that - looks. Everything else about that person could be way below the acceptable range.
I am also not one who is impressed by a sloppy-looker/dresser with a below average character ranking either.
It's just that when I flipped on the TV a few nights ago, there was a local talk show, having a discussion about it. They concluded that looks do matter.
I felt that the message wasn't correct.
It's like this make-over thingie - send someone there and poof, they will emerge looking different.
I don't think it's just in the looks.
Imagine a good looker who doesn't have clear diction or eloquence in expression...he may be able to mesmerise the onlookers for a second, but afterwards, it's down the scale, all the way. AND then, even looking on, will be an eyesore.
I guess, when a person looks good, it's in the face - must have the all appealing face, without blemishes i.e. relatively good skin, and having the face proportionately arranged.
Being well-groomed means, a person could just be average in terms of how they look i.e. face, but the extra care taken to dress, carry oneself, makes the person attractive too.
I am not one for looks, simply because we all know that it may just be that - looks. Everything else about that person could be way below the acceptable range.
I am also not one who is impressed by a sloppy-looker/dresser with a below average character ranking either.
It's just that when I flipped on the TV a few nights ago, there was a local talk show, having a discussion about it. They concluded that looks do matter.
I felt that the message wasn't correct.
It's like this make-over thingie - send someone there and poof, they will emerge looking different.
I don't think it's just in the looks.
Imagine a good looker who doesn't have clear diction or eloquence in expression...he may be able to mesmerise the onlookers for a second, but afterwards, it's down the scale, all the way. AND then, even looking on, will be an eyesore.
October 22, 2007
Bait
With an uncertain world economy, which began with the US sub-prime market troubles, the once bullish property market here is now back on track - almost. Although many reports are optimistic, there are just as many which are realistic. It has always been my opinion that whatever happened this mid 2007, was a hyped up situation - not an opinion many real estate professionals shared tho.
And so, for the many who are driven by greed, it's a good lesson, but perhaps for some, yet to be learnt. We all work, do business, to earn a living - there is making a profit and fleecing. We are entitled to make a profit ; but are we entitled to fleece another? Morally, Ethically, Spiritually, definately a NO.
For such people, in their desperate bid to hang on to what's left of the hype, baiting is what they have resorted to.
To get a large fish, we hook on bait, that's proportionately larger.
And so, what would be proportionately larger bait for property?
For me, it has got to be something like a vehicle - a Mercedes would do nicely.
BUT for this greedy lot, they have decided to offer a buffet spread.
Who am I to say it wouldn't bring in 'fish'.
sure it will, but fish these days are not silly.
instead of biting down on the bait, they may decide to nibble and miss the hook.
That's why we do farming these days.
Haul in the catch with a net.
No bait required.
And so, for the many who are driven by greed, it's a good lesson, but perhaps for some, yet to be learnt. We all work, do business, to earn a living - there is making a profit and fleecing. We are entitled to make a profit ; but are we entitled to fleece another? Morally, Ethically, Spiritually, definately a NO.
For such people, in their desperate bid to hang on to what's left of the hype, baiting is what they have resorted to.
To get a large fish, we hook on bait, that's proportionately larger.
And so, what would be proportionately larger bait for property?
For me, it has got to be something like a vehicle - a Mercedes would do nicely.
BUT for this greedy lot, they have decided to offer a buffet spread.
Who am I to say it wouldn't bring in 'fish'.
sure it will, but fish these days are not silly.
instead of biting down on the bait, they may decide to nibble and miss the hook.
That's why we do farming these days.
Haul in the catch with a net.
No bait required.
October 19, 2007
Are you Overworked?
If a person has been working without any support literally for a period of time, the level of work becomes a norm for that person. Our coping mechanisms are well-oiled to always adapt. That's the difference between a person with good coping skills and another who struggles to cope simply because their coping mechanisms are not in-gear.
Overworked is never a term I use to describe myself.
Overloaded, yes, but never overworked, because work is work.
When your boss asks you "ARE YOU OVERWORKED?"
It's actually more an admission of guilt - like, are you getting enough of support?
Frankly, in any industry, it's just how much of support is put in place CORRECTLY, to carry-out the job. For that reason alone, we have positions in the organisation for administration staff.
So, whenever this question comes up, it's always better to just say, it's not about being overworked, it's about whether the backline is supporting the workload as well.
Fortunately for me, I cope, with or without support, because long time ago, I learnt that I could only depend upon myself and no one else.
I'm not overworked, I'm just pissed off that some people get paid to play computer games during office hours, whilst I'm meeting deadlines.
Overworked is never a term I use to describe myself.
Overloaded, yes, but never overworked, because work is work.
When your boss asks you "ARE YOU OVERWORKED?"
It's actually more an admission of guilt - like, are you getting enough of support?
Frankly, in any industry, it's just how much of support is put in place CORRECTLY, to carry-out the job. For that reason alone, we have positions in the organisation for administration staff.
So, whenever this question comes up, it's always better to just say, it's not about being overworked, it's about whether the backline is supporting the workload as well.
Fortunately for me, I cope, with or without support, because long time ago, I learnt that I could only depend upon myself and no one else.
I'm not overworked, I'm just pissed off that some people get paid to play computer games during office hours, whilst I'm meeting deadlines.
October 18, 2007
The meaning of being CONTENTED
Is there ever such a thing to be CONTENTED? Could anyone really be CONTENTED?
The word is an adjective. It means, to be satisfied, gratified.
I think there are many of us in this world who are more easily CONTENTED than others.
Others refers to a classification of people who, are always scrambling for more because this lot, is not so easily gratified.
Being CONTENTED is one way of getting away with being a non-achiever.
Being CONTENTED is also one way of being thankful.
It's amazing that one adjective could give differential assumptions about the state of being.
Perhaps, how that affects us, is a reflection of our journey towards that state.
For those in the center lane of the traffic of life, it's cruising speed and we should just be glad.
For the slow movers in the left lane, it's the maximum they can travel at, so let's just be glad.
For the few in the overtaking lane, it's a word that they have left out of their dictionary, because there is always another car in front for them to overtake ; hence, they tend to keep on that overtaking lane for quite a bit.
CONTENTED is not a negative state to be in.
It's whether it works for you or not.
When my son used that word to describe his performance in the last exam, he realised that this mother doesn't have that word in her dictionary; simply because, this state never existed for her, making the word an illegitimate logic.
Not his fault.
it's just me.
The word is an adjective. It means, to be satisfied, gratified.
I think there are many of us in this world who are more easily CONTENTED than others.
Others refers to a classification of people who, are always scrambling for more because this lot, is not so easily gratified.
Being CONTENTED is one way of getting away with being a non-achiever.
Being CONTENTED is also one way of being thankful.
It's amazing that one adjective could give differential assumptions about the state of being.
Perhaps, how that affects us, is a reflection of our journey towards that state.
For those in the center lane of the traffic of life, it's cruising speed and we should just be glad.
For the slow movers in the left lane, it's the maximum they can travel at, so let's just be glad.
For the few in the overtaking lane, it's a word that they have left out of their dictionary, because there is always another car in front for them to overtake ; hence, they tend to keep on that overtaking lane for quite a bit.
CONTENTED is not a negative state to be in.
It's whether it works for you or not.
When my son used that word to describe his performance in the last exam, he realised that this mother doesn't have that word in her dictionary; simply because, this state never existed for her, making the word an illegitimate logic.
Not his fault.
it's just me.
October 17, 2007
Some, are just hopeless
There is such a thing as being in a helpless situation. Such a situation arises when given all the circumstances, nothing much can be done to fix the problem. Keeping the players in the situation as a constant, we find that any change in the other variables is not quite possible - that's helplessness. To say that we shall then CHANGE the players, it would mean, not keeping a constant at all, and having variable components throughout the equation, which translates into having a fresh equation - thus, not finding a solution to the question in the first place.
When that happens in a test paper, for example, it means, we have skipped the question and gone on to the next.
In life, when a situation is hopeless, it's also helpless ; simply because there is no NEXT question we can skip ourselves to. We are stuck.
Of course, even when we are stuck, we believe that there is a solution. BUT if we didn't prepare ourselves well for this huge test in life, then what? Skip this life and hope to be re-born in a better cycle? I believe some people have exercised that preference, ie. take their own lives and hope that they will be re-born in some other life.
I do not have a well thought-out solution for this helpless equation.
Simply because, there is none available.
Bottom line: Bail out Emotionally.
It takes a strong person to do that, because we are all wound-up with emotion all the time, male and female.
That would be the best, life-saving solution for anyone.
Some would ask, how so? since we are still very much alive and in pain.
Well, when we bail out emotionally, we are less involved.
When we are less involved, we feel less, thus, get annoyed, angered, pissed-off, hurt, LESS.
Give that some time, and no one will know the difference between a Ponstan capsule and you.
When that happens in a test paper, for example, it means, we have skipped the question and gone on to the next.
In life, when a situation is hopeless, it's also helpless ; simply because there is no NEXT question we can skip ourselves to. We are stuck.
Of course, even when we are stuck, we believe that there is a solution. BUT if we didn't prepare ourselves well for this huge test in life, then what? Skip this life and hope to be re-born in a better cycle? I believe some people have exercised that preference, ie. take their own lives and hope that they will be re-born in some other life.
I do not have a well thought-out solution for this helpless equation.
Simply because, there is none available.
Bottom line: Bail out Emotionally.
It takes a strong person to do that, because we are all wound-up with emotion all the time, male and female.
That would be the best, life-saving solution for anyone.
Some would ask, how so? since we are still very much alive and in pain.
Well, when we bail out emotionally, we are less involved.
When we are less involved, we feel less, thus, get annoyed, angered, pissed-off, hurt, LESS.
Give that some time, and no one will know the difference between a Ponstan capsule and you.
October 15, 2007
Only in Dreams
What happens when the object of our affection exists, only in our dreams?
Two things.
First.
It's what we wish for, not necessarily entirely.
Perhaps it's what we find missing in our awake-state.
Perhaps, there is a need to be held. We need human touch.
Perhaps it's just as simple as that - the need to be with another, without any strings.
Second.
Perhaps the other person is in dire need of comfort.
There is a possibility that both are so totally connected in the subconscious although they are worlds apart.
Perhaps, as much as the dreamer has this need, the star player in the dream is thinking the same.
Conclusion.
The real answer is not in any of Freud's theories.
The dream is a stolen moment.
One that cannot be shared, because the dreamer is too affected by the reality of it all.
The touch was real enough.
The warmth that came with the hug was comforting enough.
There is such a thing as being connected far beyond our understanding.
But then again, it may be the right thought, or even wrong.
Sometimes, it matters.
Sometimes, it doesn't.
It only matters because the dream is mine.
Two things.
First.
It's what we wish for, not necessarily entirely.
Perhaps it's what we find missing in our awake-state.
Perhaps, there is a need to be held. We need human touch.
Perhaps it's just as simple as that - the need to be with another, without any strings.
Second.
Perhaps the other person is in dire need of comfort.
There is a possibility that both are so totally connected in the subconscious although they are worlds apart.
Perhaps, as much as the dreamer has this need, the star player in the dream is thinking the same.
Conclusion.
The real answer is not in any of Freud's theories.
The dream is a stolen moment.
One that cannot be shared, because the dreamer is too affected by the reality of it all.
The touch was real enough.
The warmth that came with the hug was comforting enough.
There is such a thing as being connected far beyond our understanding.
But then again, it may be the right thought, or even wrong.
Sometimes, it matters.
Sometimes, it doesn't.
It only matters because the dream is mine.
October 12, 2007
Contracts
Contracts are there for us to fall back on when there is a dispute. The terms of the agreement will be written/spelt out clearly, so that the parties to the agreement are clear on what is expected of them.
For property contracts, the completion date is THE date sellers and buyers have to beware of. That date means, the property is legally being transferred to the new owner. Which means, after that date and time, the purchaser becomes the new owner and the seller will no longer have a right to stay on that premises.
Trouble with a lot of people is, they think it's a date we can negotiate upon at the last minute. When the new owner refuses to allow any extension of stay on the premises beyond the completion date, the existing owner gets annoyed. We should avoid such unpleasantness and just adhere to the terms of contract.
If the new owner is not in a hurry to move in, then sure, most regular people would grant some extension. BUT if the new owner is unable to because of his personal circumstances, it doesn't mean that the seller should get nasty and accuse the new owner of being unreasonable.
People are so selfish that they do not see everyone's position and situation.
They are so focused on themselves that only their problem is genuine.
And so we have contracts.
If we go back to the contract, the current owner doesn't have a right after the completion date, and if he refuses to hand over the unit to the new owner, the new owner has a right to get the police to evict him.
BUT for selfish people, they would try to tempt fate and refuse to move out.
I'm just amazed at how people never focus on finding solutions. If we have miscalculated the time frame, we should admit there is a problem by perhaps looking for some storage facility instead of verbally abusing the new owner.
This is the behaviour of a seller who is himself in the property market.
He obviously has gotten so used to everyone giving in to him, that he has expectations for this contract to bend it's terms to suit his laziness.
This time, he will find out that contracts are binding and if he chooses to un-bind it, it will cost him. Penalties are expensive and unnecessary.
BUT if he thinks it's just money, he surely doesn't know that for each day he delays, the cost could be as much as a few hundred dollars. Well, for some of us, we have to pay to learn.
For property contracts, the completion date is THE date sellers and buyers have to beware of. That date means, the property is legally being transferred to the new owner. Which means, after that date and time, the purchaser becomes the new owner and the seller will no longer have a right to stay on that premises.
Trouble with a lot of people is, they think it's a date we can negotiate upon at the last minute. When the new owner refuses to allow any extension of stay on the premises beyond the completion date, the existing owner gets annoyed. We should avoid such unpleasantness and just adhere to the terms of contract.
If the new owner is not in a hurry to move in, then sure, most regular people would grant some extension. BUT if the new owner is unable to because of his personal circumstances, it doesn't mean that the seller should get nasty and accuse the new owner of being unreasonable.
People are so selfish that they do not see everyone's position and situation.
They are so focused on themselves that only their problem is genuine.
And so we have contracts.
If we go back to the contract, the current owner doesn't have a right after the completion date, and if he refuses to hand over the unit to the new owner, the new owner has a right to get the police to evict him.
BUT for selfish people, they would try to tempt fate and refuse to move out.
I'm just amazed at how people never focus on finding solutions. If we have miscalculated the time frame, we should admit there is a problem by perhaps looking for some storage facility instead of verbally abusing the new owner.
This is the behaviour of a seller who is himself in the property market.
He obviously has gotten so used to everyone giving in to him, that he has expectations for this contract to bend it's terms to suit his laziness.
This time, he will find out that contracts are binding and if he chooses to un-bind it, it will cost him. Penalties are expensive and unnecessary.
BUT if he thinks it's just money, he surely doesn't know that for each day he delays, the cost could be as much as a few hundred dollars. Well, for some of us, we have to pay to learn.
October 11, 2007
Winding Down
Usually, once I have crossed my birthday, I start scaling down my schedule for the new year. I know some people would have taken stock before the birth date and then implement the changes right after. I'm just a bit different, in that, being an October child, the last quarter of the year means closing a chapter. I probably would gear up again in the new year. It's not that I will just laze about - it's not my nature, I see it as warming up my engines for the new year.
We all have different buttons and modes of operation. This works for me. After so many years, I do understand myself very well - it's important that we listen to ourselves to keep the balance. When we take up arms and war internally, we create a stressful situation for ourselves.
Having had battles and confrontations all year, these coming weeks will be lived in much calmer mood. Perhaps it's like machinery - takes a while to rev it up. Had I been born in the middle of the year, I may be on full gear by christmas - but then, I wouldn't know since I am not a cancerian or gemini child. I have no clue of what affects them.
AND so, with my winding down mood in place, I am tireously planning for short breaks. Although I hate the beach/resorts - love the sunrise and sunset, but hate the idea of an endless volume of sea water - I will plod along for a break to some beach and try to be like most people - resort vacationers.
It may be a struggle, but it's necessary for me to think I'm just a regular person, now and then.
It's not just necessary for me. It's necessary for everyone to just be themselves for a bit.
After all, no matter who we are, or what we personify, we are still people, with needs to be human-ised, if there is such a word.
We all have different buttons and modes of operation. This works for me. After so many years, I do understand myself very well - it's important that we listen to ourselves to keep the balance. When we take up arms and war internally, we create a stressful situation for ourselves.
Having had battles and confrontations all year, these coming weeks will be lived in much calmer mood. Perhaps it's like machinery - takes a while to rev it up. Had I been born in the middle of the year, I may be on full gear by christmas - but then, I wouldn't know since I am not a cancerian or gemini child. I have no clue of what affects them.
AND so, with my winding down mood in place, I am tireously planning for short breaks. Although I hate the beach/resorts - love the sunrise and sunset, but hate the idea of an endless volume of sea water - I will plod along for a break to some beach and try to be like most people - resort vacationers.
It may be a struggle, but it's necessary for me to think I'm just a regular person, now and then.
It's not just necessary for me. It's necessary for everyone to just be themselves for a bit.
After all, no matter who we are, or what we personify, we are still people, with needs to be human-ised, if there is such a word.
October 10, 2007
what really matters
Beautiful sea and setting sun.
If you ever watched the sun rise, or set, you'd notice that at those points in the day, the change occurs rather quickly. The whole day, for at least 12 hours, we have daylight - i.e. the sun stays in the sky for that long, yet when it's time to set, it just 'falls' too quickly, bringing with it darkness. Same in the early mornings - the sun would seem to be struggling to against the law of physics to break into the horizon...when it does, it does so quickly too.
Wonders of nature.
No words could describe how mesmerised I can be by something that we all take for granted.
We should take a little time to appreciate all that.
It's not a cliche - it's getting in touch with what REALLY matters - the rising sun, the setting sun and everything else we never stop to even bat an eyelid about.
Why?
because that's what money cannot buy us. It was given to be appreciated.
October 09, 2007
painting the ceiling
I used to paint, change the colour of the walls of my home, as therapy. I feel that when I'm painting, I don't have to make any conversations, and could just be quiet and enjoy the splashes of new colour. I have had this habit from a long time ago.
Freud might just thought it's because as a child I was deprived in ever helping out with painting. Perhaps, perhaps not.
Anyways, yesterday, instead of just attacking the walls, I decided to do a ceiling. After all, I thought it would be so much simpler to just slap on a fresh coat of paint, as opposed to wet wiping it. WRONG.
I got paint all over my face, my hair, all over me - it was like freckles...although my hair had new streaks. To make things worse, it started to rain a bit...so the daylight was history - had to depend on warm white lights, which didn't help of course.
Lucky me, it was just the ceiling of my dining room.
Now, my next problem would be, who's going to volunteer to do the rest?
Perhaps that's why we have companies who specialise in painting - pay the mullah, and spare ourselves an aching neck, arms and hours in the shower just to make sure my last hair highlights did not get overridden!
Freud might just thought it's because as a child I was deprived in ever helping out with painting. Perhaps, perhaps not.
Anyways, yesterday, instead of just attacking the walls, I decided to do a ceiling. After all, I thought it would be so much simpler to just slap on a fresh coat of paint, as opposed to wet wiping it. WRONG.
I got paint all over my face, my hair, all over me - it was like freckles...although my hair had new streaks. To make things worse, it started to rain a bit...so the daylight was history - had to depend on warm white lights, which didn't help of course.
Lucky me, it was just the ceiling of my dining room.
Now, my next problem would be, who's going to volunteer to do the rest?
Perhaps that's why we have companies who specialise in painting - pay the mullah, and spare ourselves an aching neck, arms and hours in the shower just to make sure my last hair highlights did not get overridden!
October 08, 2007
sunset at sea
This was a shot I took on the way back to Singapore last friday. The sun was setting - the view was peaceful. The sea wasn't quite as calm, but just watching the rays of the sun coming down to the water surface was so very pretty. It would have been great to have this moment shared but I was pretty much alone - after a long day at a site inspection.The sea breeze added to the ambience and at times like this, you'd want to share that moment with someone - because every book about relationships would talk about romantic sunsets. I could share this with Frisco, but well, he may be so mesmerised that he'd fly off into the sunset!
Well, books are just books and meant for light reading, with the exception of text books, which we should take them seriously, unless we are refuting some research finding.
Perhaps, I'll be spared the agony of never seeing this sunset alone again - if we start on this project. Somehow, although it felt lonely, it comforted me. It's not a loneliness alone, but the solitude alone, which I have grown to treasure. It's a moment only for me. Over the years, I have gotten used to it, and as such, I savour robbed moments to be just me.
Sure, it's a dream to be wrapped like sushi, and still survive being chowed on.
I needed to watch this sunset, because I needed to know that there are still beautiful things on this earth that I can appreciate for me.
Take a boat trip out and watch the sun go down.
It takes you away from the hustle and bustle of this chronic island and reminds you that we need to focus on the simpler things in life.
October 05, 2007
signs
Signs help direct us. Basically that's what it's for. On the road, we read signs to tell us whether we could drive through the road, vehicular direction or the NO ENTRY sign. We also have signs to designate wheelchair parking lots or simple ones to tell us where to go to answer a call of nature. Signs are useful - like the phrase "A picture tells a thousand words".
Given my confusing situation with the Admissions department, I wonder if that's a sign but one not painted out. Perhaps this sign is telling me that I should go with another university ; or perhaps my timing to start my Honours year is all wrong. Perhaps, the subject readings are not what I would subconsciously like to do. IS THIS A SIGN?
Life would be far less complicated if no one invented signs. That way, we could just come face to face with the situation and 'take the bull by the horns'. BUT because there is such a thing as 'signs', and I have no picture to guide me through this interpretation, I'm rather stuck.
Since time is never in my hands to manipulate, I have decided that I shall ignore these signs and move along. What will happen, will happen. And when it does, it does. I have spent 2 days, thinking about this - Imagine, trying to obtain some vision when there are no directional words or picture to guide you! Perhaps, I could treat this like music.
Feel my way through.
For that, I'm thankful for all those piano lessons -
When all else fails, what touches us most would matter - signs would then not matter so much - but isn't this touchy-type of feeling a sign too?
Given my confusing situation with the Admissions department, I wonder if that's a sign but one not painted out. Perhaps this sign is telling me that I should go with another university ; or perhaps my timing to start my Honours year is all wrong. Perhaps, the subject readings are not what I would subconsciously like to do. IS THIS A SIGN?
Life would be far less complicated if no one invented signs. That way, we could just come face to face with the situation and 'take the bull by the horns'. BUT because there is such a thing as 'signs', and I have no picture to guide me through this interpretation, I'm rather stuck.
Since time is never in my hands to manipulate, I have decided that I shall ignore these signs and move along. What will happen, will happen. And when it does, it does. I have spent 2 days, thinking about this - Imagine, trying to obtain some vision when there are no directional words or picture to guide you! Perhaps, I could treat this like music.
Feel my way through.
For that, I'm thankful for all those piano lessons -
When all else fails, what touches us most would matter - signs would then not matter so much - but isn't this touchy-type of feeling a sign too?
October 04, 2007
REs
In uni, we talk about REs. Yup, that's when we fail a paper and have to sit for it again. The word re-take sounds so bad, that we just say RE. Although I have never had to RE a paper, I'm sure it's stressful and quite depressing.
After plodding through books and papers, writing/typing assignments, presentations, research, we graduate. At the convocation, we receive our testamur. Some of us would take the trouble to frame the darn thing up, some would send it to be engraved on a metal frame for the wall. Some others would just keep it on file.
After celebration, some of us work, some will continue their postgrad immediately. Our testamurs will re-appear at job applications and of course, when we apply for post-grad studies.
I have been going here and there, the past 5 years, finding THE course I should pursue post-grad. I enrolled to do a Masters programme, which I never really started on because I found out that the support is not sufficient. Working and studying is no joke.
This year, I'm finally ready to commit a 2-year relationship with my books. Got a place to do my Honours year (which I KIVed before), then work got crazy, had to postpone it. Now, 6 months later, the university sent me another letter of offer, for a 3-year undergraduate programme. I was like "huh?"
The admissions office here wasn't helpful at all - they didn't know what was happening, although they had my admissions docket. The clerk claimed that they only had ONE year of readings from me, but she also confirmed that she had a copy of my testamur.
What I cannot understand is: If I didn't complete 3-years, then how in GODs name did I receive a Bachelor's? She couldn't answer me.
So I dug out all their letters of offers, (postponed twice, so I have 3 letters), and I still had the ones offering me a place to do my Honours year i.e. Year 4.
Wow, that was like telling me "Hey you need to RE, Years 2 & 3" not because you've failed them, but because we lost your transcripts.
Now that got me thinking - if they cannot even comprehend result slips, then what makes me so sure they are the correct agency I should trust my money with, to complete my Year 4?
Imagine that, she wanted me to do a big RE - I guess she doesn't have a clue, that no person in their right frame of mind, would RE something they have cleared. Perhaps, she's been dealing with Psych students so much that, she has become as certifiable as us.
After plodding through books and papers, writing/typing assignments, presentations, research, we graduate. At the convocation, we receive our testamur. Some of us would take the trouble to frame the darn thing up, some would send it to be engraved on a metal frame for the wall. Some others would just keep it on file.
After celebration, some of us work, some will continue their postgrad immediately. Our testamurs will re-appear at job applications and of course, when we apply for post-grad studies.
I have been going here and there, the past 5 years, finding THE course I should pursue post-grad. I enrolled to do a Masters programme, which I never really started on because I found out that the support is not sufficient. Working and studying is no joke.
This year, I'm finally ready to commit a 2-year relationship with my books. Got a place to do my Honours year (which I KIVed before), then work got crazy, had to postpone it. Now, 6 months later, the university sent me another letter of offer, for a 3-year undergraduate programme. I was like "huh?"
The admissions office here wasn't helpful at all - they didn't know what was happening, although they had my admissions docket. The clerk claimed that they only had ONE year of readings from me, but she also confirmed that she had a copy of my testamur.
What I cannot understand is: If I didn't complete 3-years, then how in GODs name did I receive a Bachelor's? She couldn't answer me.
So I dug out all their letters of offers, (postponed twice, so I have 3 letters), and I still had the ones offering me a place to do my Honours year i.e. Year 4.
Wow, that was like telling me "Hey you need to RE, Years 2 & 3" not because you've failed them, but because we lost your transcripts.
Now that got me thinking - if they cannot even comprehend result slips, then what makes me so sure they are the correct agency I should trust my money with, to complete my Year 4?
Imagine that, she wanted me to do a big RE - I guess she doesn't have a clue, that no person in their right frame of mind, would RE something they have cleared. Perhaps, she's been dealing with Psych students so much that, she has become as certifiable as us.
October 03, 2007
The right time
There will never be a time that is right to say things that may not be appropriate for a situation. Yet, we will come close enough to having this urge.
Good or bad, we tend to appreciate keeping the peace - until another time when that option no longer serves it's purpose.
There are a lot of marriages in this situation.
I was the person listening to estranged couples.
BUT I left doing all that simply because these are not what I would classify as 'real' problems.
Choice is always ours. We choose to stay or leave.
Most stay because of their children.
Some stay because splitting the matrimonial assets would be painful.
Others just don't want to initiate this mess.
Then there are the few who are just waiting for the right time.
BUT when IS the right time?
It's usually when the kids have gone past high school, because they would have already developed the basics in character building, and being a young adult, are better equipped to deal with separated parents. Not that children have no intuition and are unable to pick up the tension, just that it's easier to deal with tense parents than 2 households. At least the financial needs of the children will not be compromised.
BUT whilst waiting for the right time, there will be loneliness that we have to deal with. Someone will have to work till they are so tired they just fall right into dreamland ; because another day means, they are closer to the end.
Morbid, nope, just a shot of honesty.
Good or bad, we tend to appreciate keeping the peace - until another time when that option no longer serves it's purpose.
There are a lot of marriages in this situation.
I was the person listening to estranged couples.
BUT I left doing all that simply because these are not what I would classify as 'real' problems.
Choice is always ours. We choose to stay or leave.
Most stay because of their children.
Some stay because splitting the matrimonial assets would be painful.
Others just don't want to initiate this mess.
Then there are the few who are just waiting for the right time.
BUT when IS the right time?
It's usually when the kids have gone past high school, because they would have already developed the basics in character building, and being a young adult, are better equipped to deal with separated parents. Not that children have no intuition and are unable to pick up the tension, just that it's easier to deal with tense parents than 2 households. At least the financial needs of the children will not be compromised.
BUT whilst waiting for the right time, there will be loneliness that we have to deal with. Someone will have to work till they are so tired they just fall right into dreamland ; because another day means, they are closer to the end.
Morbid, nope, just a shot of honesty.
October 02, 2007
it's all about balance
There will be some people who are just careless about when they tell you what. I don't know if that has anything to do with upbringing or bad genes. Either way, it's these people who have failed their respective relationships.
Sure, there will be somethings that never have a good day for exposure, but although timing is of the essence, the delivery of the news is just as important.
I have always believed that anything that brings on less than a smile is not good and should be handled with tact. There are others who strongly think on the contrary, because if the bad news has to be told, then out with it, regardless. But this is not about keeping numb, or making light a serious situation. It's about when we choose to share that, and how we actually spill the beans.
I am one who believes in just telling it straight, yet, when I do, I focus on the delivery and make sure the soup is not too tasty nor tasteless. There is never a good time to discuss the bad. BUT we can make it more accepting if it's handled correctly.
It's never about the negative, it's always about compassion.
Yes, even in conversations we can have compassion. When we include that little factor in, then it's easier to deliver bad news without causing as much stress to the other person.
We should remember that it's all about balance.
Everything in life is about balance.
Sure, there will be somethings that never have a good day for exposure, but although timing is of the essence, the delivery of the news is just as important.
I have always believed that anything that brings on less than a smile is not good and should be handled with tact. There are others who strongly think on the contrary, because if the bad news has to be told, then out with it, regardless. But this is not about keeping numb, or making light a serious situation. It's about when we choose to share that, and how we actually spill the beans.
I am one who believes in just telling it straight, yet, when I do, I focus on the delivery and make sure the soup is not too tasty nor tasteless. There is never a good time to discuss the bad. BUT we can make it more accepting if it's handled correctly.
It's never about the negative, it's always about compassion.
Yes, even in conversations we can have compassion. When we include that little factor in, then it's easier to deliver bad news without causing as much stress to the other person.
We should remember that it's all about balance.
Everything in life is about balance.
October 01, 2007
solitude
Alone time is something some people prefer more of, some less of, depending on what makes up their general 'life'. I had 48 hours of alone time in Bangkok, and it wasn't enough. That is the horrifying truth. I was reluctant to move
My goose is cooked.
I prefer my solitude.
I think I have crossed too many miles of disappointments, anger, annoyance and irritation that I have burnt the bridges to those fields. We tend to do that, it's called survival. And with survival, comes instinct - we stay clear and far away so that the bad cannot recur.
I will always remember this trip, because it will be these 2 days there that gave me some idea on where I'm supposed to head. Yes, it's supposed to, since the letter of offer for my Hons year is still sitting pretty on my desk.
I did some soul-searching and realised that for all the millions of excuses I have come up with for not starting the term, I have just ONE damn good one to do so. It's in my love for Psych and my ability to help another person understand it. Yes, it's probably going to shield me more from my state of unhappiness, but what we don't see, we can pretend not to know. At least when I am focused on something else, I will not waste my time away, thinking, how the hell I managed to screw up my life again and again.
Solitude does wonders.
Because we have time to be honest with ourselves, without interruptions.
It's painful and I've shed a few tears there.
BUT I'm back now, the tears have dried and I'm moving on.
My goose is cooked.
I prefer my solitude.
I think I have crossed too many miles of disappointments, anger, annoyance and irritation that I have burnt the bridges to those fields. We tend to do that, it's called survival. And with survival, comes instinct - we stay clear and far away so that the bad cannot recur.
I will always remember this trip, because it will be these 2 days there that gave me some idea on where I'm supposed to head. Yes, it's supposed to, since the letter of offer for my Hons year is still sitting pretty on my desk.
I did some soul-searching and realised that for all the millions of excuses I have come up with for not starting the term, I have just ONE damn good one to do so. It's in my love for Psych and my ability to help another person understand it. Yes, it's probably going to shield me more from my state of unhappiness, but what we don't see, we can pretend not to know. At least when I am focused on something else, I will not waste my time away, thinking, how the hell I managed to screw up my life again and again.
Solitude does wonders.
Because we have time to be honest with ourselves, without interruptions.
It's painful and I've shed a few tears there.
BUT I'm back now, the tears have dried and I'm moving on.
September 26, 2007
Before I Go
Yanni had this on his album, it's a beautiful, 'feeling' piece. BUT some people label Yanni as muzak...:)
Whatever it is, it's still a beautiful piece, to me.
Why this came to my mind today, I have no clue - just that I woke up and decided that I needed to settle my postgrad (again) permanently. Either I continue doing Psychology, or change entirely into real estate. I have a Letter of Offer sitting on my desk at home, a 2nd postponement. Perhaps everything works according to timing. Perhaps I wanted to do this, but the time wasn't right.
On hindsight, had I started this programme in March, I would have failed this first semester, simply because my work took over my personal time, the past 6 months. The next starting block is almost here and I am half-walking, half-dragging myself there.
I wish I had a crystal ball to answer the question : Should I? or Should I Not?
So, before I go (for my vacation) - I guess it's inevitable that I do this to me.
Sometimes it's better to just give more respect to our vacation time. One should be happy to leave the madness, re-charge our batteries and take-off! Enjoy our time away as time we so deserve.
BUT then I'm me, before I go, I already started fretting.
Perhaps when GOD made me, he forget to install the programme "TAKE A BREAK"
Perhaps when GOD made me, he knew that the online dictionary wasn't installed either, so I couldn't understand the word "REST".
I don't just need new parts, having hit 40, I need an overhaul!
Whatever it is, it's still a beautiful piece, to me.
Why this came to my mind today, I have no clue - just that I woke up and decided that I needed to settle my postgrad (again) permanently. Either I continue doing Psychology, or change entirely into real estate. I have a Letter of Offer sitting on my desk at home, a 2nd postponement. Perhaps everything works according to timing. Perhaps I wanted to do this, but the time wasn't right.
On hindsight, had I started this programme in March, I would have failed this first semester, simply because my work took over my personal time, the past 6 months. The next starting block is almost here and I am half-walking, half-dragging myself there.
I wish I had a crystal ball to answer the question : Should I? or Should I Not?
So, before I go (for my vacation) - I guess it's inevitable that I do this to me.
Sometimes it's better to just give more respect to our vacation time. One should be happy to leave the madness, re-charge our batteries and take-off! Enjoy our time away as time we so deserve.
BUT then I'm me, before I go, I already started fretting.
Perhaps when GOD made me, he forget to install the programme "TAKE A BREAK"
Perhaps when GOD made me, he knew that the online dictionary wasn't installed either, so I couldn't understand the word "REST".
I don't just need new parts, having hit 40, I need an overhaul!
September 25, 2007
White
White has never been my favourite colour for walls in the house. I always felt that it was too bright - had no character - too common a colour. Of course, we know that white is no longer just white. There is bluebell white, lily white and so on....I picked one with a slight tinge of yellow. A bit whiter than magnolia, which was my initial choice.
It's that time of the year when I do stock taking of my life and start major moves...yes, it's THE BIRTHDAY season. I've always been a bit strange - people paint walls before christmas or the new year, but I do it during my birthday season. Perhaps, I have chosen white this year because my life is so rushed and busy that I need good 'headlamps', lest I start walking into walls.
I think white is a high maintenance colour - but after orange, yellow, and powder blue - white may just be it. I have too many wooden furniture and colourful rugs that need some balance. Right now my home is cosy, dim lights - all warm white, but having painted one major wall white, the change is really surprising. Perhaps, white would just be ordinary, if there isn't anything more interesting on the floor - my floors & skirting are parquet which probably helps a great deal to balance the colour.
This weekend, it's off to the shops for fresh rugs - plain ones too - somehow, I think I need simplicity in all this madness - I would love a white rug - but hell, with 2 black cats and one green parrot - I better pass on the white rug - that is experience talking!
It's that time of the year when I do stock taking of my life and start major moves...yes, it's THE BIRTHDAY season. I've always been a bit strange - people paint walls before christmas or the new year, but I do it during my birthday season. Perhaps, I have chosen white this year because my life is so rushed and busy that I need good 'headlamps', lest I start walking into walls.
I think white is a high maintenance colour - but after orange, yellow, and powder blue - white may just be it. I have too many wooden furniture and colourful rugs that need some balance. Right now my home is cosy, dim lights - all warm white, but having painted one major wall white, the change is really surprising. Perhaps, white would just be ordinary, if there isn't anything more interesting on the floor - my floors & skirting are parquet which probably helps a great deal to balance the colour.
This weekend, it's off to the shops for fresh rugs - plain ones too - somehow, I think I need simplicity in all this madness - I would love a white rug - but hell, with 2 black cats and one green parrot - I better pass on the white rug - that is experience talking!
September 21, 2007
A state of mind
When a person says, Hey I'm happy. Is that a state of mind? Just how do we define happy or unhappy?
I may be a good example since I'm so neutral in my external persona that although I may emit unhappy signals, internally, it's just the opposite. Remember times in playschool when teachers tell kids, "show me a happy face!" - the kids will then smile and laugh. If it was "show me a sad face" - the kids would frown and pretend to cry. Apply that idea and the concept will come through clearly.
We may be unhappy with the general state of things, but it doesn't have to mean that we are unhappy with our lives. It's 2 different things.
For a start, the general state of things may not be in our direct control - there are other factors to take into consideration. Our lives are a different thing. It IS in our direct control and although there are a few splinters here and there, we are capable of still being happy with it.
That's why, happiness or unhappiness IS a state of mind.
We choose to float at the level we wish to, at that moment.
Because of that, it's not necessarily the actual state of mind.
Perhaps that's why I'm an introvert - I'd rather just let myself know my state of mind. For me, that state belongs to me - and sometimes, sharing that is just too precious.
Next time someone says - I'm unhappy and they are almost as complicated a person as I am, think again.
It's never just that.
It's always something else.
I may be a good example since I'm so neutral in my external persona that although I may emit unhappy signals, internally, it's just the opposite. Remember times in playschool when teachers tell kids, "show me a happy face!" - the kids will then smile and laugh. If it was "show me a sad face" - the kids would frown and pretend to cry. Apply that idea and the concept will come through clearly.
We may be unhappy with the general state of things, but it doesn't have to mean that we are unhappy with our lives. It's 2 different things.
For a start, the general state of things may not be in our direct control - there are other factors to take into consideration. Our lives are a different thing. It IS in our direct control and although there are a few splinters here and there, we are capable of still being happy with it.
That's why, happiness or unhappiness IS a state of mind.
We choose to float at the level we wish to, at that moment.
Because of that, it's not necessarily the actual state of mind.
Perhaps that's why I'm an introvert - I'd rather just let myself know my state of mind. For me, that state belongs to me - and sometimes, sharing that is just too precious.
Next time someone says - I'm unhappy and they are almost as complicated a person as I am, think again.
It's never just that.
It's always something else.
September 20, 2007
Men+Bulges doesn't = bonus
It's not that all men behave badly when their ego is bruised, but most. Working in a male dominated environment has proved that to be true, time and time again.
Take JC, a 41 year old agent, who joined us with aspirations to be a staff member. He put his dreams so far ahead of Decency that he started having disagreements with the rest of the team, male & female members. Because he was so focused on realising his dream, he forgot that in sales, targets are everything. When others began to outshine him in performance, he started to feel bitter and that was when he practised his brand of politics - by making snide remarks about others to the male permanent staff members.
I did one thing better than him - I asked him out for a meeting and offered him a face-saving way out of this - quit.
He had the cheek to ask me to ask my boss, if he could join the ad-hoc team as an agent. I simply told him that once out, there is no way onto the other boat. He claimed that it was unfair.
How was that unfair? If one cannot deliver the results on this side, it would be the same on the other side. BUT then, I remember that his ego has been bruised, so he thought jumping to the other side of the fence would save him face. So I responded in that, when people leave, they leave, because there is such a thing as saving face.
Of course he's not going to admit that he failed to perform.
Of course it's because I am a woman and it's difficult to work with me.
Of course he's the one who gets on with everyone else.
Of course he told a male colleague that "looks like you & me are no longer her blue-eyed boy".
What I'm trying to figure out is, since when were they my blue-eyed boys?
Gosh, talk about the male ego gone wrong!
That's the weakness of men.
Slam them and it's because we are women, NEVER because we are doing a better job.
Perhaps 2 extra danglings and a phallus makes them think they can stick it to anyone - well, wrong person.
I would rather live with a dildo than a man who thinks that the bulge they have is bonus.
For me, bonuses comes in DOLLARS, everything else is a problem.
Take JC, a 41 year old agent, who joined us with aspirations to be a staff member. He put his dreams so far ahead of Decency that he started having disagreements with the rest of the team, male & female members. Because he was so focused on realising his dream, he forgot that in sales, targets are everything. When others began to outshine him in performance, he started to feel bitter and that was when he practised his brand of politics - by making snide remarks about others to the male permanent staff members.
I did one thing better than him - I asked him out for a meeting and offered him a face-saving way out of this - quit.
He had the cheek to ask me to ask my boss, if he could join the ad-hoc team as an agent. I simply told him that once out, there is no way onto the other boat. He claimed that it was unfair.
How was that unfair? If one cannot deliver the results on this side, it would be the same on the other side. BUT then, I remember that his ego has been bruised, so he thought jumping to the other side of the fence would save him face. So I responded in that, when people leave, they leave, because there is such a thing as saving face.
Of course he's not going to admit that he failed to perform.
Of course it's because I am a woman and it's difficult to work with me.
Of course he's the one who gets on with everyone else.
Of course he told a male colleague that "looks like you & me are no longer her blue-eyed boy".
What I'm trying to figure out is, since when were they my blue-eyed boys?
Gosh, talk about the male ego gone wrong!
That's the weakness of men.
Slam them and it's because we are women, NEVER because we are doing a better job.
Perhaps 2 extra danglings and a phallus makes them think they can stick it to anyone - well, wrong person.
I would rather live with a dildo than a man who thinks that the bulge they have is bonus.
For me, bonuses comes in DOLLARS, everything else is a problem.
September 19, 2007
a matter of ethics?
I was at my clients place, supervising some repair work, when an agent friend brought another agent and her buyer to view the unit. I never communicated with the buyer. The agents were negotiating with me, but they couldn't bring the buyer close enough to my base price.
2 days later, i received a call from a buyer who informed me that he came to know I was selling the unit.
After another 4 days - we settled the price.
I know it's the same buyer - because I have dealt with him years ago with another agent.
Honesty would have me at least pay an agent a referral fee at least.
BUT looking at the situation, I don't really have to since I didn't call the buyer. The buyer went to lengths to locate my number.
My boss thinks there is no referral fee required.
Is this really a matter of ethics?
I think so, because this industry is already loaded with jokers, we need some level of professionalism.
2 days later, i received a call from a buyer who informed me that he came to know I was selling the unit.
After another 4 days - we settled the price.
I know it's the same buyer - because I have dealt with him years ago with another agent.
Honesty would have me at least pay an agent a referral fee at least.
BUT looking at the situation, I don't really have to since I didn't call the buyer. The buyer went to lengths to locate my number.
My boss thinks there is no referral fee required.
Is this really a matter of ethics?
I think so, because this industry is already loaded with jokers, we need some level of professionalism.
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