Can Change be GOOD?

A month living under unfamiliar conditions, fresh surroundings and having to put up with grit from the main road and vehicular noise has made me a little more patient, in some sense. It would seem like this move was a very bad idea, because the past 4 weeks have found me spending more time OUTSIDE my space. A close colleague thinks another 4 weeks would settle me a little more...however, i'm doubtful.

There is no lesson I can share today, except that, change is as good as we can accept it to be. No one likes change, wherever it may be - seating in the office, how things are done - we tend to cast the procedure in place automatically and then find ourselves unable to make the adjustment when a pole shifts. I'm not even sure if learning by rote is responsible for this auto-response, but I do know that if something has 'worked' for a long time, why would we have a need to tune it?

Well, we may think it is working, which isn't incorrect. But there will always be a better way to get it working. But what if we don't want better? Well, we will not have a basis to compare, until we experience what 'better' is. Therefore, we should learn to be less unbending and more open to accept new ideas and try new ways of doing things.

The problem is not the change - it's our inability to adjust as quickly - perhaps that's why another 4 weeks may settle me in my new environment a little more.

Today, I moved

After much deliberation and consideration, I have unhinged myself from my nest of 10 years. 24th June 2011, will be the date I will perhaps remember for the rest of my life - simply because it is the first time I actually moved into 'unchartered' space.

The actual move traumatised me at every possible level - i was sleep deprived, physically exhausted and couldn't settle in quickly enough.

This is probably the boldest thing I have done yet; But I am positive that after some time, I will be able to look back and appreciate this change.

As resistant as we are to major change, it is necessary in moving forward.

My new cave is very different - it comes with noise and grit from the main road - but I do get an unobstructed view and a balcony which supports plant growth.

I left a lot of memorable furniture behind - it's best to start fresh - i'm sentimental about things, but i should grow up and deal with not wanting to 'pay for' excess baggage in whatever form.

My cave is not fully ready yet, in terms of my putting my personal stamp on it, but it is coming along nicely. I already feel that I've been unburdened at some deeper level. This may or may not be psychological, but as long as I am functioning at optimal level, I should be thankful and consider myself blessed.

Why books must be closed

I have spent the past few months of 2011 closing 'books'. What I realise is, 'books', my polite term for either girlfriends/guyfriends, must be 'closed' lest we find ourselves knocked simply because the wind blew.

I have never been great with closures - i tend to want to make light of things so that there is less animosity and perhaps, less unpleasantness. Unfortunately, doing what i did, just postponed the inevitable.

Relationships, Friendships are bonds I felt, that was a necessary evil. Although i enjoy the company of friends, I find most engagements, tiring and not always bubbling with sincerity. People are generally either the tit for tat types, or the selfish go-getters; Everyone wants something from Someone. Otherwise, there is no value or purpose in wanting to maintain that Relationship/Friendship.

Perhaps, 2011, will be THE YEAR, I will close all the books i have deliberately left open and finally will be able to move on. I like to think that I can move one step forward without the two steps behind, springing me a surprise.

It's almost mid-year, I must say, 2011 has been going by like a tornado. I feel that I am being propelled in the forward direction, yet, unless all the books are closed, it will not be closed and it will slow my move.

I have learnt to manage these surprises a little less hurriedly, thinking more about how to counter-respond without extending the books.

This is why, we need closure in any area; not a learning curve, but just to always be neat and tidy so that the book can be archived or sold to a bookstore.

I do feel bad, that some friendships/relationships are just not worth a second look; just like books, we read the prologue, review and decide if it's one we would like to discover. If it's not a narrative of interest, it's not and we could give ourselves twice the length of time, to read, but it will not happen. And if it does, we may not even appreciate the effort of the author.

So, if a friendship is too lop-sided, close it or file it under another label, say, hi bye friend.

If a relationship is too noncommittal, close it or file it under say, wrong place wrong time, wrong person.

We are all entitled to having friendships which are helping and relationships which strengthen us as a person. I feel that I should be more selective, not because of fussiness, but that we really don't have much time and I rather I spend that time with people who really matter.