A friend asked me how I'm able to just IGNORE and remove a person from my circle, without emotion. I then told her the story.
If we have a limb that's rotting, the hospital would want to amputate i.e. chop it off. Because leaving it would mean subjecting the rest of the 'good' body to be poisoned by whatever's that causing the rot - gangrene. Gangrene means tissue death which will be followed by decomposition.
She told me that she prefers to get to the bottom of things, etc. I then asked her if all that effort would pay off. It doesn't, because People Do Not change. If a person has the habit of going behind another's back, breaks protocol in work ethics ; what could we possibly hope that this person would improve on? Behaviour is never easy to alter, because a lot of it is instinctive. It's tendencies that cause people to do what they do, more often than not.
Most people REACT.
So, between friends, I could accept a few back-stabbing oversights, say 2 slashes. After that, don't you think my survival instincts would kick in and tell me to find a marker and redraw the lines? It's cleaner and it cuts out my stress level.
If the other party doesn't value the relationship, be it a business or friendly relationship, then it would be better to find another party who is keen to at least observe the very basics in ethical behaviour.
So, if a limb is rotten and giving you trouble, go ahead, chop it off.
It would save you a lot on painkillers, migraine and money.
February 28, 2007
February 27, 2007
She's worth a Hamper
It always amazes me when people stoop so low and peg their favours to whether or not they have received a gift.
Although there are many who practice sending hampers, cakes, whatever that is in a gift pack to clients and friends, there are many others who do not. Especially on a corporate level. Some companies have such budget, others don't.
A corporate client, decided to express her unhappiness about not receiving a Lunar New Year gift so blatantly that I cannot help but be convinced that she is only worth the hamper she has requested for. I work for an MNC, we do send corporate gifts on certain occasions, but not this Lunar New Year.
I am actually quite appalled by her behaviour once she realised that we were not sending anything. Question: Why do we have to send something? I understand that this is not an international business practice - because not every one follows this tradition. And since when do we ask people for gifts? Have they no shame?
It's terrible to come to this point of realisation, because I have totally lost the shread of respect I had for her, that came with my job. A hamper would have bought her over. How cheap can that be? Such people do not think before they react. I guess she must be pleased to have a price tag that reads $88 hanging on her nose.
Although there are many who practice sending hampers, cakes, whatever that is in a gift pack to clients and friends, there are many others who do not. Especially on a corporate level. Some companies have such budget, others don't.
A corporate client, decided to express her unhappiness about not receiving a Lunar New Year gift so blatantly that I cannot help but be convinced that she is only worth the hamper she has requested for. I work for an MNC, we do send corporate gifts on certain occasions, but not this Lunar New Year.
I am actually quite appalled by her behaviour once she realised that we were not sending anything. Question: Why do we have to send something? I understand that this is not an international business practice - because not every one follows this tradition. And since when do we ask people for gifts? Have they no shame?
It's terrible to come to this point of realisation, because I have totally lost the shread of respect I had for her, that came with my job. A hamper would have bought her over. How cheap can that be? Such people do not think before they react. I guess she must be pleased to have a price tag that reads $88 hanging on her nose.
February 26, 2007
Selfishness Virus
There is a fine line between enjoying food and being a glut.
How do we enjoy the activity called EATING, when we have overfilled the stomach bag? It's like filling up a ziplock bag till the bag cannot be zipped! When we overeat, it causes discomfort - the glass is filled to the brim and just one tiny drop more would cause it to spill over.
People who do that have no sense of control and probably have the same tendencies towards everything that they do - going overboard.
Is it necessary to stuff our faces till we feel sick?
The same goes for drinking.
When we drink till we're drunk, then that's a problem. BUT if we consume just one glass of wine, then we are savouring the flavour in the glass.
This brings us to Quantity vs Quality.
There will always be the Quantity people, people who think going to a buffet means stuffing yourself till you need a trolley to remove you from the table. Same with filling the car with petrol. If the tank is full, it's full. Some drivers have gone overboard by tilting the car with some wedge, so that the tank can take in more petrol.
This behaviour is not a result of economic progress. It's what happens when we pay attention to getting ahead at the expense of others. So much so that only WE, ourselves matter and only US. It's selfish and once ingrained, difficult to backtrack and fix.
You may think, what does petrol have to do with selfishness.
It's not in the action, but what causes that action. The mind must first be selfish, before the person is able to behave that way. And because the mind is ill with selfishness, there is no resistance and all subsequent behaviours will just fall into place and the result, a totally selfish person who puts himself first all the time without realising that some may be damaging to his well-being.
BUT again, that isn't quite accurate, because if a person collapsed - he doesn't care, because he EXPECTS someone else - care-giver, health care worker, to take care of him....so you see, selfishness is as virul as the next epidemic of bird flu.
How do we enjoy the activity called EATING, when we have overfilled the stomach bag? It's like filling up a ziplock bag till the bag cannot be zipped! When we overeat, it causes discomfort - the glass is filled to the brim and just one tiny drop more would cause it to spill over.
People who do that have no sense of control and probably have the same tendencies towards everything that they do - going overboard.
Is it necessary to stuff our faces till we feel sick?
The same goes for drinking.
When we drink till we're drunk, then that's a problem. BUT if we consume just one glass of wine, then we are savouring the flavour in the glass.
This brings us to Quantity vs Quality.
There will always be the Quantity people, people who think going to a buffet means stuffing yourself till you need a trolley to remove you from the table. Same with filling the car with petrol. If the tank is full, it's full. Some drivers have gone overboard by tilting the car with some wedge, so that the tank can take in more petrol.
This behaviour is not a result of economic progress. It's what happens when we pay attention to getting ahead at the expense of others. So much so that only WE, ourselves matter and only US. It's selfish and once ingrained, difficult to backtrack and fix.
You may think, what does petrol have to do with selfishness.
It's not in the action, but what causes that action. The mind must first be selfish, before the person is able to behave that way. And because the mind is ill with selfishness, there is no resistance and all subsequent behaviours will just fall into place and the result, a totally selfish person who puts himself first all the time without realising that some may be damaging to his well-being.
BUT again, that isn't quite accurate, because if a person collapsed - he doesn't care, because he EXPECTS someone else - care-giver, health care worker, to take care of him....so you see, selfishness is as virul as the next epidemic of bird flu.
February 23, 2007
The Flip Side
There is always more than one side of anything - it's never just one, but two or more, as logic would have it, even a coin has 2 flat sides and a circumference, which could be counted as 'a side'. Therefore, for every worthwhile argument, there must be more than a single way of approaching the subject matter.
Perhaps life would be a lot simpler if we just had ONE way out - no discussion, no choices, no weighing scale required. Then we could all just wake up, do the necessary, go back to sleep with no major hurdles or crossroads to contend with, ever! Would that make us complacent? or would that make us just like a lounge lizard? I'm sure when the lizard decides to eat, he doesn't care which fly his sticky tongue would catch, but I'm also sure that he would have done his math and decided on the sure target. So even lizards have a flip side when he's catching dinner! It's like this, if I try for that fat jucicy one, I may hit a rough wall patch and slip to the floor - and if luck doesn't turn my way, be eaten by that cat! OR I could just stay still, where I am, and wait for the silly fly to come near enough for my tongue to get it.
Life is about flip sides - how we make sense of it all - but not all things make sense. Thus, our unending saga with choices and which flip side is the safer side of all. Could be neither, but then it's still a side that we have to decide for or against.
Perhaps life would be a lot simpler if we just had ONE way out - no discussion, no choices, no weighing scale required. Then we could all just wake up, do the necessary, go back to sleep with no major hurdles or crossroads to contend with, ever! Would that make us complacent? or would that make us just like a lounge lizard? I'm sure when the lizard decides to eat, he doesn't care which fly his sticky tongue would catch, but I'm also sure that he would have done his math and decided on the sure target. So even lizards have a flip side when he's catching dinner! It's like this, if I try for that fat jucicy one, I may hit a rough wall patch and slip to the floor - and if luck doesn't turn my way, be eaten by that cat! OR I could just stay still, where I am, and wait for the silly fly to come near enough for my tongue to get it.
Life is about flip sides - how we make sense of it all - but not all things make sense. Thus, our unending saga with choices and which flip side is the safer side of all. Could be neither, but then it's still a side that we have to decide for or against.
February 21, 2007
Predictability
Is it a gift or a curse?
If a person enjoys surprises, then it's the ultimate curse, to be able to predict any event with absolute accuracy.
If a person hates surprises, then it's the fitting gift.
I don't like surprises, but with each accurate prediction, it just proves the "I told me so".
Perhaps when the relationship is more forgiving, and the prediction centers around carelessness, then it could well save the day.
BUT many are caught in similar relationships, where getting out and staying in are equally tiresome. By then, prediction of a certain behaviour just compounds the entire bitterness into one whole life episode of regrets.
I do not take out a crystal ball to read the next silly thing that will erupt, but when I'm so tuned to clearing out messes, it's second nature to just know where and when the mess will happen.
I used to be able to enjoy life, by just being oblivious to my surroundings, but as age catches on, and time becomes more precious, there is a tendency to look for some solace and peace.
If there never was such a thing as the astrologist being tired of getting 'messages', then I just made it to that line.
Prediction can be entertaining, when it doesn't affect us directly, because we don't have to care about it. BUT when it does, it doesn't just gravely disappoint, it becomes too glaring a sign, asking you, what you plan to do about it.
If a person enjoys surprises, then it's the ultimate curse, to be able to predict any event with absolute accuracy.
If a person hates surprises, then it's the fitting gift.
I don't like surprises, but with each accurate prediction, it just proves the "I told me so".
Perhaps when the relationship is more forgiving, and the prediction centers around carelessness, then it could well save the day.
BUT many are caught in similar relationships, where getting out and staying in are equally tiresome. By then, prediction of a certain behaviour just compounds the entire bitterness into one whole life episode of regrets.
I do not take out a crystal ball to read the next silly thing that will erupt, but when I'm so tuned to clearing out messes, it's second nature to just know where and when the mess will happen.
I used to be able to enjoy life, by just being oblivious to my surroundings, but as age catches on, and time becomes more precious, there is a tendency to look for some solace and peace.
If there never was such a thing as the astrologist being tired of getting 'messages', then I just made it to that line.
Prediction can be entertaining, when it doesn't affect us directly, because we don't have to care about it. BUT when it does, it doesn't just gravely disappoint, it becomes too glaring a sign, asking you, what you plan to do about it.
February 20, 2007
doing the UNthinkable
I'm sure there are many times, in one's life, where we get cold feet. The reasons may or may not be valid. It could be a self-created anxiety, or one derived from uncertainty.
How do we solve that? How do we get ourselves out of that uncomfortable spot?
To say, I have had a great amount of experience in that area would be bull. I never liked tight spots, I stay clear from uncontrollable situations. I am a creature of comfort.
As the days draw nearer, I am thinking, WHAT WAS I THINKING?
My passion for the academics OR my overloading my plate!
When the plate is full, most people would just quietly walk away, find a table to stuff all that food down.
what do I do? I find another plate, to balance on my other hand which by the way, is already holding a coffee cup.
I have done the Unthinkable - lined myself up in front of a firing squad - for 2 years.
it's not dying that scares me, it's thinking about the exact time of death - the waiting.
I am not sure if I can cope.
If there is anyone with excellent coping skills, it's me - I am born a juggler!
I AM supposed to start a 2-year study programme, loaded with exams in less than 2 weeks and my brains have gone on overdrive, hurting my enjoyment of this lunar new year holiday week.
Perhaps, my brains have been on leave for too long, hence this nervous hesitation.
what do we do, when we are in this mess....we pray.....because simple sanity is not going to do it.
How do we solve that? How do we get ourselves out of that uncomfortable spot?
To say, I have had a great amount of experience in that area would be bull. I never liked tight spots, I stay clear from uncontrollable situations. I am a creature of comfort.
As the days draw nearer, I am thinking, WHAT WAS I THINKING?
My passion for the academics OR my overloading my plate!
When the plate is full, most people would just quietly walk away, find a table to stuff all that food down.
what do I do? I find another plate, to balance on my other hand which by the way, is already holding a coffee cup.
I have done the Unthinkable - lined myself up in front of a firing squad - for 2 years.
it's not dying that scares me, it's thinking about the exact time of death - the waiting.
I am not sure if I can cope.
If there is anyone with excellent coping skills, it's me - I am born a juggler!
I AM supposed to start a 2-year study programme, loaded with exams in less than 2 weeks and my brains have gone on overdrive, hurting my enjoyment of this lunar new year holiday week.
Perhaps, my brains have been on leave for too long, hence this nervous hesitation.
what do we do, when we are in this mess....we pray.....because simple sanity is not going to do it.
things do not change
When things are simply cruising in life, the best advice is not to break the momentum. Unfortunately, there are the daft few who prefer to challange the situation and try their luck. It's impossible to understand how daft a person can be, and it all stems out from the need to regain a position.
There are many relationships which exist simply because the foundation is built around other factors. I used to think that a relationship is strong because the couple built their foundation around their friendship. Well, I think that theory is not quite so accurate.
The foundation of any relationship could be any of the contributing factors that revolve around the life of the individual. What becomes 'contributing' would depend upon the individual's anchor. If the individual's anchor is built around the other person, then the relationship is interdependant. BUT what happens when the anchor is built around other things, not necessarily a person?
I have come to this conclusion after many years of relationship suffering. When that happens, it's best for things to be left as it as, because that translates into what we all know as being single.
It's not a bad thing, having the anchor shifted - it hides the shortcomings of the other person without really creating a hostile environment. it creates a more amicable exchange. Of course, the peace lasts for as long as the issue is not brought up. In counselling, we encourage discussions, but after years and years of discussions and no progress, how do we continue such advice? We don't because we would know that one more discussion is not going to make a difference.
Before anyone in that bad situation decides that one more discussion will help, one should think about the grave consequences of going into the arena with nothing but your good looks in hand.
There are many relationships which exist simply because the foundation is built around other factors. I used to think that a relationship is strong because the couple built their foundation around their friendship. Well, I think that theory is not quite so accurate.
The foundation of any relationship could be any of the contributing factors that revolve around the life of the individual. What becomes 'contributing' would depend upon the individual's anchor. If the individual's anchor is built around the other person, then the relationship is interdependant. BUT what happens when the anchor is built around other things, not necessarily a person?
I have come to this conclusion after many years of relationship suffering. When that happens, it's best for things to be left as it as, because that translates into what we all know as being single.
It's not a bad thing, having the anchor shifted - it hides the shortcomings of the other person without really creating a hostile environment. it creates a more amicable exchange. Of course, the peace lasts for as long as the issue is not brought up. In counselling, we encourage discussions, but after years and years of discussions and no progress, how do we continue such advice? We don't because we would know that one more discussion is not going to make a difference.
Before anyone in that bad situation decides that one more discussion will help, one should think about the grave consequences of going into the arena with nothing but your good looks in hand.
February 17, 2007
can IT be Un-Done?
After too many years, what happens to a really bad decision? It becomes a torn in life, a constant reminder of stubbornness and baggage. Question is : can it be Un-Done?
For those who keep diaries, journals or these days, blogs, we do have a reference point. Reading back means, we could go back in time, re-learn those horrid outbursts, re-live good memories and try not to repeat those unforgiving mistakes.
How do we undo something we never were supposed to do?
Almost impossible.
BUT how do we continue existing, once cold water has been poured over us?
I haven't the faintest clue.
I have lived with a 20 year mistake. A mistake that was highlighted to me, just days ago. As usual, I wanted to know why my best friend took 20 years to tell me.
For days now, I have been thinking about this.
I am sure I have learnt coping skills, which have since been polished and is my recourse. I must be a really good solutions provider since no one really knew, unless they spent time getting me to talk.
Being a best friend means, you say what you mean. And she did just that.
She gave me my bottom line, one which I have been moving.
Yes it can be undone, but not without drama. AND its time I did that, because she knew I had issues, issues that are affecting me.
There is always a way, it's whether we are prepared to allocated real time to sort it out. That's my mantra for now, finding time. Bitch as I am, I still think timing is crucial.
For those who keep diaries, journals or these days, blogs, we do have a reference point. Reading back means, we could go back in time, re-learn those horrid outbursts, re-live good memories and try not to repeat those unforgiving mistakes.
How do we undo something we never were supposed to do?
Almost impossible.
BUT how do we continue existing, once cold water has been poured over us?
I haven't the faintest clue.
I have lived with a 20 year mistake. A mistake that was highlighted to me, just days ago. As usual, I wanted to know why my best friend took 20 years to tell me.
For days now, I have been thinking about this.
I am sure I have learnt coping skills, which have since been polished and is my recourse. I must be a really good solutions provider since no one really knew, unless they spent time getting me to talk.
Being a best friend means, you say what you mean. And she did just that.
She gave me my bottom line, one which I have been moving.
Yes it can be undone, but not without drama. AND its time I did that, because she knew I had issues, issues that are affecting me.
There is always a way, it's whether we are prepared to allocated real time to sort it out. That's my mantra for now, finding time. Bitch as I am, I still think timing is crucial.
February 15, 2007
My Sweet Valentine
If there is any such personification of a Valentine, it would have to be red, cut in the shape of a heart, neat with not arterials. BUT as reality would have it, I do not celebrate any occasions and thus do not have sufficient backgroung information to really say what is which.
I went about the day, trying my level best NOT to judge the commercialisation of affection. To me, whatever it is, that one feels about another, is never quite love, because, we do not really know what that means. Affection would be the more appropriate word. The value of that emotion on a personal level would depend very much on the depth of Affection.
That is why there is this ability to feel for a mix of people. This mix provides a variety and exploration of fresh experiences. Some people are torn between two loves, so to speak, which is definately possible, yet in our society, is deemed two-timing, or being a bitch?
In my book, I do not have this chapter called love.
The way I see it, commercial love as denoted by society, doesn't last, simply because it's advertisement.
Since love was never factored in, affections are personal.
In this personal folder, if you do have access into it, you'd see it.
My Sweet valentine. literally.
I went about the day, trying my level best NOT to judge the commercialisation of affection. To me, whatever it is, that one feels about another, is never quite love, because, we do not really know what that means. Affection would be the more appropriate word. The value of that emotion on a personal level would depend very much on the depth of Affection.
That is why there is this ability to feel for a mix of people. This mix provides a variety and exploration of fresh experiences. Some people are torn between two loves, so to speak, which is definately possible, yet in our society, is deemed two-timing, or being a bitch?
In my book, I do not have this chapter called love.
The way I see it, commercial love as denoted by society, doesn't last, simply because it's advertisement.
Since love was never factored in, affections are personal.
In this personal folder, if you do have access into it, you'd see it.
My Sweet valentine. literally.
February 14, 2007
Love, everyday
It's February 14th. To me, it's like any other day, except that the radio has the buzz words aired all week! It's not that I don't believe in love and all that, it's just too commercial for the likes of me. For me, it's personal.
There are people who would openly declare their undying love for another. There is nothing wrong with that. These would share their passion and affection in public - thinking that love is not an embarassment but something to be open about.
I do not come from this school of thought.
There is nothing traditional about me or how my mind thinks.
I observe customs and I do not stay clear from another's celebration because I don't celebrate occasions.
Some may say, that staying away equals negatives. Not true.
People like me, stay away because of personal boundaries. I treasure my private space and it's value increases because I do not share it.
Love should be treasured, remembered each and every day.
If I had a love who only remembered what love means, just on Christmas, Valentines and my birthday, then that is not love for me.
It may be a tall order - but love is not a commodity, at least it is not to me.
Love is, a touch, an embrace, a smile.
It warms your heart - it is giving another consideration.
It's definately not something you float on the stock exchange.
There are people who would openly declare their undying love for another. There is nothing wrong with that. These would share their passion and affection in public - thinking that love is not an embarassment but something to be open about.
I do not come from this school of thought.
There is nothing traditional about me or how my mind thinks.
I observe customs and I do not stay clear from another's celebration because I don't celebrate occasions.
Some may say, that staying away equals negatives. Not true.
People like me, stay away because of personal boundaries. I treasure my private space and it's value increases because I do not share it.
Love should be treasured, remembered each and every day.
If I had a love who only remembered what love means, just on Christmas, Valentines and my birthday, then that is not love for me.
It may be a tall order - but love is not a commodity, at least it is not to me.
Love is, a touch, an embrace, a smile.
It warms your heart - it is giving another consideration.
It's definately not something you float on the stock exchange.
February 13, 2007
Contentment and me
Why is it difficult to be contented? Often, I have wondered.
I for one, am not for contentment, not because I'm ungrateful, but because there's always another 'mountain' to climb.
I know many, who for one reason or another, with the ability to just live their life without baseless complications.
I would be totally bored.
I would be so unmotivated.
I would be so unrested.
It doesn't matter if one is easily contented. It only matters when one expects all others to be in the same zone. I don't hold it against anyone who is principled by contentment, but I am disgusted when there is an expectation for everyone to be contented.
We have a choice, to either just be or continuously be improving.
I choose a continuous change, to break from the monotony and to strive for fresher objectives. I could never sit still - because time waits for no man, and as long as I am able, I will move, move and move.
It's tiring, yet fulfilling. At least that's my formula for fulfilment.
When I'm really tired out, I'll just sit and enjoy a cuppa. That would be the only time, I do not think about scaling another mountain.
I for one, am not for contentment, not because I'm ungrateful, but because there's always another 'mountain' to climb.
I know many, who for one reason or another, with the ability to just live their life without baseless complications.
I would be totally bored.
I would be so unmotivated.
I would be so unrested.
It doesn't matter if one is easily contented. It only matters when one expects all others to be in the same zone. I don't hold it against anyone who is principled by contentment, but I am disgusted when there is an expectation for everyone to be contented.
We have a choice, to either just be or continuously be improving.
I choose a continuous change, to break from the monotony and to strive for fresher objectives. I could never sit still - because time waits for no man, and as long as I am able, I will move, move and move.
It's tiring, yet fulfilling. At least that's my formula for fulfilment.
When I'm really tired out, I'll just sit and enjoy a cuppa. That would be the only time, I do not think about scaling another mountain.
February 12, 2007
Ambition & Adrenalin
I often wonder, what is Ambition.
When having conversations with kids, there will be a time, we ask "what do you want to be when you grow up?"
We could say, that is 'ambition' - the want to be something, or do something.
BUT I believe that with time, the want to be or to do, changes.
The change becomes necessary as the surrounding or connecting links moves with circumstances and situations.
Ambition, as we know it, supposedly drives us on the road to arriving at the target. It gives us a destination.
Could that be like adrenalin, driving us on?
If we had ambition but no adrenalin, then how do we get to our destination? Pure luck?
I think we need to have both - Ambition to give us the general direction and adrenalin as fuel. Of course, if one road is not accessible, we would have to look at alternative routes - without sufficient fuel, we would be left on the road shoulder waiting for a tow truck, and risk not ever getting to our destination.
So, having ambition is one thing, but without enough adrenalin, I doubt we could be skipping anywhere - because it's always about having the 'means', the ability to move.
I never had an ambition for my career.
Because I was ever too busy greasing myself so that I could outlast the journey - wherever it would take me
When having conversations with kids, there will be a time, we ask "what do you want to be when you grow up?"
We could say, that is 'ambition' - the want to be something, or do something.
BUT I believe that with time, the want to be or to do, changes.
The change becomes necessary as the surrounding or connecting links moves with circumstances and situations.
Ambition, as we know it, supposedly drives us on the road to arriving at the target. It gives us a destination.
Could that be like adrenalin, driving us on?
If we had ambition but no adrenalin, then how do we get to our destination? Pure luck?
I think we need to have both - Ambition to give us the general direction and adrenalin as fuel. Of course, if one road is not accessible, we would have to look at alternative routes - without sufficient fuel, we would be left on the road shoulder waiting for a tow truck, and risk not ever getting to our destination.
So, having ambition is one thing, but without enough adrenalin, I doubt we could be skipping anywhere - because it's always about having the 'means', the ability to move.
I never had an ambition for my career.
Because I was ever too busy greasing myself so that I could outlast the journey - wherever it would take me
February 09, 2007
Life is like a highway
As we plod along in our life, we arrive at pit-stops - sometimes its a crossroad, other times, a 2-way junction. Whatever it is, that is the point we take stock and decide on how best to continue our journey. Does that mean we our current course is less satisfactory?
I tend to believe that when we take stock often, it implies less carelessness, less going-with-the-flow but more planning and thinking.
BUT it's often not the best spot to be on, simply because it's almost repetitive behaviour of addressing and readdressing issues. Some may look upon that as the inability to move forward.
Some others may also frown at that behaviour - uncertain footing -
However, any time spent thinking is never wasted, not in my books.
We think over ideas, options, problems, we must, otherwise we make mistakes, bad calls and worse still, wrong judgement. We end up spending more time finding another solution, to already a bad situation, when all we needed to do in the first place, was, TO THINK.
Not everyone appreciates a thinking person - because the response may be slower - and definately calculated.
BUT then, our life is like a highway . Our life is at stake. Carelessness on the highway may result in a multiple vehicle pile-up with loss of lives.
As a creature of comfort, I would just cruise at my desired speed - to hell with the speedsters.
When I get to a junction, I will stop.
Not because I have to.
But because I want to.
And I am pausing for a moment at this junction again, before I decide which route to get on. Never worry about not getting there on time. Worry about not getting there at all!
I tend to believe that when we take stock often, it implies less carelessness, less going-with-the-flow but more planning and thinking.
BUT it's often not the best spot to be on, simply because it's almost repetitive behaviour of addressing and readdressing issues. Some may look upon that as the inability to move forward.
Some others may also frown at that behaviour - uncertain footing -
However, any time spent thinking is never wasted, not in my books.
We think over ideas, options, problems, we must, otherwise we make mistakes, bad calls and worse still, wrong judgement. We end up spending more time finding another solution, to already a bad situation, when all we needed to do in the first place, was, TO THINK.
Not everyone appreciates a thinking person - because the response may be slower - and definately calculated.
BUT then, our life is like a highway . Our life is at stake. Carelessness on the highway may result in a multiple vehicle pile-up with loss of lives.
As a creature of comfort, I would just cruise at my desired speed - to hell with the speedsters.
When I get to a junction, I will stop.
Not because I have to.
But because I want to.
And I am pausing for a moment at this junction again, before I decide which route to get on. Never worry about not getting there on time. Worry about not getting there at all!
February 08, 2007
In all fairness
It wouldn't take a genius to figure out what is common sense, otherwise it wouldn't be classified as common sense.
When shopping for a pair of shoes, we would expect shops to vary in their retail price for that same pair. Shops which are clearing stock, tend to have lower prices. This is common knowledge thus shoppers spend time walking in and out of shops, comparing prices. Even when we are buying watches, we go back to the same shop, hoping that we become their regular customer and eventually will enjoy a better discount.
What makes a person think that they automatically have this privilege, without having some VIP/discount card?
If all the shops have this shoe tagged at $80, there is no reason why they should sell it at $50 just because a buyer could only afford to pay $50. In all fairness, we buy what we can afford - it's never the shop who toggles price according to the purchaser's affordability.
For a similar pair of shoe, there is a fixed cost price - and I'm sure if it's a design that's currently IN, the end price will be just about the same - especially if the shops are in the same building.
Therefore, if we take this and magnify it - my question is simple - the difference of $50 wouldn't matter much to the buyer, but when you add a string of zeros to that unit to read $50000 then it matters that you have overpaid.
In all fairness, that's why you have the original brand and the imitation, that's why we have apartments, public-housing and condos. The market has products for different buyers.
When shopping for a pair of shoes, we would expect shops to vary in their retail price for that same pair. Shops which are clearing stock, tend to have lower prices. This is common knowledge thus shoppers spend time walking in and out of shops, comparing prices. Even when we are buying watches, we go back to the same shop, hoping that we become their regular customer and eventually will enjoy a better discount.
What makes a person think that they automatically have this privilege, without having some VIP/discount card?
If all the shops have this shoe tagged at $80, there is no reason why they should sell it at $50 just because a buyer could only afford to pay $50. In all fairness, we buy what we can afford - it's never the shop who toggles price according to the purchaser's affordability.
For a similar pair of shoe, there is a fixed cost price - and I'm sure if it's a design that's currently IN, the end price will be just about the same - especially if the shops are in the same building.
Therefore, if we take this and magnify it - my question is simple - the difference of $50 wouldn't matter much to the buyer, but when you add a string of zeros to that unit to read $50000 then it matters that you have overpaid.
In all fairness, that's why you have the original brand and the imitation, that's why we have apartments, public-housing and condos. The market has products for different buyers.
February 07, 2007
Can WE be bought?
I wonder sometimes if peace of mind can be bought - not in the literal sense, of course. In a world where liquidity is crucial for our daily survival, I believe that everything can be bought.
There will be people who claim that they, as a person, cannot be bought. BUT well, when we take a salary and zombie in and out to carry out a task, we are being bought. We will stay that way, and then realise that there is a better job out there, quit because we tell ourselves, that we cannot be bought, then work at the other job, until the same cycle repeats.
Some others will use this line when the relationship goes bad - however, it's the same cycle, with different variables. It sounds very cut and dry, but that is the ugly truth. We can all be bought, just that the 'price' varies. As in barter trading, there is a price tag on everything. We just don't consciously think about it.
For something as abstract as 'peace of mind', it's just another 'item' on the trading board. Perhaps at different points in our lives, our definition of 'peace of mind' varies. BUT it doesn't change the fact that, it can be bought, either in barter or monetary trade. Either way, it involves an exchange.
So, yes, we can be bought - it's just how much.
There will be people who claim that they, as a person, cannot be bought. BUT well, when we take a salary and zombie in and out to carry out a task, we are being bought. We will stay that way, and then realise that there is a better job out there, quit because we tell ourselves, that we cannot be bought, then work at the other job, until the same cycle repeats.
Some others will use this line when the relationship goes bad - however, it's the same cycle, with different variables. It sounds very cut and dry, but that is the ugly truth. We can all be bought, just that the 'price' varies. As in barter trading, there is a price tag on everything. We just don't consciously think about it.
For something as abstract as 'peace of mind', it's just another 'item' on the trading board. Perhaps at different points in our lives, our definition of 'peace of mind' varies. BUT it doesn't change the fact that, it can be bought, either in barter or monetary trade. Either way, it involves an exchange.
So, yes, we can be bought - it's just how much.
February 06, 2007
Shoes and more shoes
Why do I need so many pairs of shoes? My colleague asked me a few times already.
Well, as vanity would have it, having a pair of black work shoes, is not like having a little black dress, which you could wear, accessorise with a scarf, beads, brooches, whatever! A pair of shoes is a pair of shoes - it is either casual or not, it either comes with straps or you simply slip it on. It's not versatile, in terms of interchangeability by adding or subtracting accessories.
If I had just one black pair of heels with a strap, it may not necessarily go well with a 3-piece attire...not that it cannot, it may not, depending on just how strappy it is. Yet to always wear a closed pair of heels, with a work dress may not be interesting enough. The shoe may be too 'heavy' for the dress.
Almost like bags, shoes are pretty distinct in how it is best worn. After all, when we dress, for whatever the occasion, we aim to be in sync with the overall result. There is a dress code for shoes as well - you simply do not buy the first pair of shoes you see, because there is fit, cut, and comfort and of course, durability to consider.
When I pay good money for a pair of shoes, it's never because of vanity.
It's usually because of comfort for my feet.
Comforts of life, those, I will never compromise - I don't see what's the point of putting myself in much discomfort just to save dollars.
I would wear a 2nd hand dress, but I will never pay less for a not too perfect shoe!
Well, as vanity would have it, having a pair of black work shoes, is not like having a little black dress, which you could wear, accessorise with a scarf, beads, brooches, whatever! A pair of shoes is a pair of shoes - it is either casual or not, it either comes with straps or you simply slip it on. It's not versatile, in terms of interchangeability by adding or subtracting accessories.
If I had just one black pair of heels with a strap, it may not necessarily go well with a 3-piece attire...not that it cannot, it may not, depending on just how strappy it is. Yet to always wear a closed pair of heels, with a work dress may not be interesting enough. The shoe may be too 'heavy' for the dress.
Almost like bags, shoes are pretty distinct in how it is best worn. After all, when we dress, for whatever the occasion, we aim to be in sync with the overall result. There is a dress code for shoes as well - you simply do not buy the first pair of shoes you see, because there is fit, cut, and comfort and of course, durability to consider.
When I pay good money for a pair of shoes, it's never because of vanity.
It's usually because of comfort for my feet.
Comforts of life, those, I will never compromise - I don't see what's the point of putting myself in much discomfort just to save dollars.
I would wear a 2nd hand dress, but I will never pay less for a not too perfect shoe!
February 05, 2007
Crackers
When does a man, decide that his ego takes precedent over work ethics? In my opinion, it's way too often.
For the life of me, I cannot understand why, given any man, can they not separate the two? Work has always been work in my books - there is no space for emotions, nor room for egos. We stay focused to get the job done. Men used to be able to do just that, in those days. What happened?
A male was late for reporting, and when asked, gave the reason that he bought breakfast for his wife.
Question: Was that a valid reason?
Answer : Obviously not, since he was not the only married person there
Then he went on to say that he was usually early.
Question: Is that a valid excuse?
Answer: Again, it's not, since, our reporting time is fixed everyday.
It would have been simpler if he just apologised and moved on. But he chose to take it up with me. Bad idea.
Because when we work, we work according to the rules of the game.
These rules have been set up and are being followed by all colleagues, no exceptions.
I just concluded that, he's been working for males all his life, and perhaps he felt that a I was bashing his ego.
You know, if every male has an inflated ego, then it's no wonder, they cannot ever be realistic.
Realism is not about egos - it's about being pragmatic and brutally honest.
And so the crackers went off, and it's not even the lunar new year yet.
For the life of me, I cannot understand why, given any man, can they not separate the two? Work has always been work in my books - there is no space for emotions, nor room for egos. We stay focused to get the job done. Men used to be able to do just that, in those days. What happened?
A male was late for reporting, and when asked, gave the reason that he bought breakfast for his wife.
Question: Was that a valid reason?
Answer : Obviously not, since he was not the only married person there
Then he went on to say that he was usually early.
Question: Is that a valid excuse?
Answer: Again, it's not, since, our reporting time is fixed everyday.
It would have been simpler if he just apologised and moved on. But he chose to take it up with me. Bad idea.
Because when we work, we work according to the rules of the game.
These rules have been set up and are being followed by all colleagues, no exceptions.
I just concluded that, he's been working for males all his life, and perhaps he felt that a I was bashing his ego.
You know, if every male has an inflated ego, then it's no wonder, they cannot ever be realistic.
Realism is not about egos - it's about being pragmatic and brutally honest.
And so the crackers went off, and it's not even the lunar new year yet.
February 02, 2007
being 'put on the table'
Yesterday, was the first time I heard this expression. I had no clue what it meant. A colleague of mine JC mentioned that he felt that way - because another colleague put him to the task.
My rule of thumb has always been straight - don't poke your nose into something you have no clue about. Jumping right into a discussion, is not a good idea, if the topic is unfamiliar - that is common sense.
After he brought the issue up and was dressed down for it, he realised that he was 'put on the table' by the other chap. That was when I lost the grain of the conversation, because I really didn't know what that phrase implied. And so, the explanation came - it was not a phrasal verb or anything, but a direct translation from a dialect.
I'm sure many times, we have this urge to speak up for another - but I think we should read the situation carefully first. This is not saying that we don't bother at all, it's people management. There is a time to bond and there is another for healthy discussions. People will always have something to say - when they don't, it's because they've lost their voice not because they have no opinion.
We were discussing fees - a topic which we have addressed and implemented for months. Yet, it was brought up, like a fresh point in a debate. Obviously I hit the roof and by the time JC realised he was 'put on the table' by another colleague, it was too late, he got thrashed verbally for something he actually understood, before he got confused.
Bottom line is : know whose side you're on before you begin your debate
My rule of thumb has always been straight - don't poke your nose into something you have no clue about. Jumping right into a discussion, is not a good idea, if the topic is unfamiliar - that is common sense.
After he brought the issue up and was dressed down for it, he realised that he was 'put on the table' by the other chap. That was when I lost the grain of the conversation, because I really didn't know what that phrase implied. And so, the explanation came - it was not a phrasal verb or anything, but a direct translation from a dialect.
I'm sure many times, we have this urge to speak up for another - but I think we should read the situation carefully first. This is not saying that we don't bother at all, it's people management. There is a time to bond and there is another for healthy discussions. People will always have something to say - when they don't, it's because they've lost their voice not because they have no opinion.
We were discussing fees - a topic which we have addressed and implemented for months. Yet, it was brought up, like a fresh point in a debate. Obviously I hit the roof and by the time JC realised he was 'put on the table' by another colleague, it was too late, he got thrashed verbally for something he actually understood, before he got confused.
Bottom line is : know whose side you're on before you begin your debate
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