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November 29, 2006

Sense of Urgency & You

Some of us like to wrap things up quickly, zap, zap, zap. Some others, prefer to walk around the carousel, before actually hopping on. Then there are others, who are in perpetual state of being at the crossroads, not able to move, simply because they do not know how.
Take a situation where all 3 characters are involved in one situation with exactly the same objective. What we possibly will end up with is total frustration, confusion and many egos will be battered to bits!
I understand that it takes all kinds to make the world, but it's a wonder that a lot of people are able to exist without this sense of urgency. They are able to function on a single gear on their life road when even CARS are not able to do that! Manufacturers put in a few optional gears be it an automatic or manual transmission vehicle................need I say more.
There is no expectation for these people to start looking for their gear, so that they may switch to a higher one. And until they find such expectations for themselves, we are just very much stuck with these road hogs!

November 28, 2006

Keeping to Plan

Everyone has the tendency to keep within our comfort zones and keep things status quo. BUT there will come a time, when we feel this need to break away, and either do something different OR get back on track. I chose to 'get back on track'.
Its not a new track - it's my original track that became a dirt path, because it was unattended for so long. I needed to get onto that dirt path, simply because that was my original pathway, until I got side-tracked and made this dirt path my main road!
Of course, being at the tip of December of 2006 didn't help, because it's cliche month for everyone - to make new year resolutions blah blah blah, including 'I never make new year resolutions' person like me. To be typically normal, I will have to say, BUT THIS IS NOT A NEW YEAR RESOLUTION - because if I don't, I would stay on this 'dirt path' forever. I do not make excuses for myself, because to me, that's the lamest way that I could live. I have lived my life with the least of regrets - I'm coping with those little regrets - which would be another topic for another day ; but for now, I'm Keeping to Plan and having executed stage one, i should be clearing this dirt path so that I could zip on it with ease!

November 24, 2006

Which Ship?

For people who are patient and forgiving, the lines never get crossed. For those who are impatient and unforgiving, the lines are getting so crossed, it's not a line anymore, but a grid. For those in between that, they try to find relevant excuses and move on from there.
We tend to be more forgiving when in a friendship than in a relationship - whether it is a pairing relationship or a working relationship.
This is the age-old discussion that expectations in a relationship are on a steeper gradient - which naturally adds pressure. In a pairing relationship, the couple is finding it's footing and building a foundation for permanance. There is almost no room for constant bickering and anger, because that will add baggage that will only serve to be a stumbling hurdle later.
In a working relationship, the ties are less tight, but still crucial to a successful career, and income for oneself. Having that bond compromised may cause career suicide - so our extreme reactions may stem out of our self-preservation instincts.
Friendships promote a feel-good factor minus all the anchor. We don't have to deal with that person if we are not up to it. And our selfishness at that moment, will not be detrimental to the friendship, because friends understand.
My point, before you take out someone, determine if that person is sharing a relationSHIP or a friendSHIP with you. Because if it's the wrongSHIP you're on, then it's unplanned consequences galore.

November 23, 2006

The Narcissistic Experience

This may be the worst, that anyone can be entwined in. Narcissistic's are extremely selfish and self-centered. They have grandiose views of themselves and are constantly preoccupied with fantasies of their great successes. They do not adapt very well to whichever framework they are within, because of their inability to have empathy or recognition of another's good work and their arrogance that preying on the 'weaker' is an entitlement.
I have one in my midst, and it's tiring, because I am on a sabbathical from anything that's related to psych.
This person needs consultation but I am quite certain, it's not going to be easy for anyone to see a change, even if there is a therapist at hand. I have been studying this chap for quite a bit, and I'm saddened that he has no clue at all about how his lies, behaviour, and more lies, are hurting his reputation and credibility. But that's the problem with this, they just don't get it.
Perhaps, this will be motivation for me to get the ball rolling and to set a game plan for myself to go back to where I came from.
As a therapist, I would be more patient and less critical - right now, I am neither, and I have made the decision to throw him out because it's my job to safeguard the rest.

November 21, 2006

another new year soon

As the end of Y2006 draws near, it's time to clean out closets, clear annual leave, set targets for the coming year and embrace life to-date. I have many things to be thankful for, yet I'm still looking at a glass that's half-empty, not half-full. Most times, I'm happy, yet, inbetween that, I find myself not truly unhappy, but just on this plateau, zero gradient.
Why are we always trying to hop onto the other side of the lawn? It's human nature and it keeps HOPE alive. It's also part of learning. When we are done on the other side, somehow, another fence will pop up, and we are back on another fence, looking another part of the field. If ever, the fence comes up right next to a wall, I will know that my vision has failed me and I have really come to the end of the road of my life! The wall would probably have pop-ups on my life, like a huge LCD screen and then I would fall into the black hole.
Our lives are interconnected with the lives of others, our reaction, dependant upon that of others. How can we say we are truly alone? But I still feel that, sometimes. I did not become wiser this year, just more tolerant, in a bad way. I have learnt to 'not bother' and just brush my unhappiness aside.
I'm trying to slam the brakes on the 31st of December because it's just too soon for me - I'm not ready to compromise, neither am I ready to shout Happy New Year, because there is nothing new for me to be happy about...................yet.

November 20, 2006

no noisy night out for me


What is it with me that makes me the 'do not go clubbing' type? My gfs are confused, and with good reason too.

To brush it aside, it's always because I'm too tired and it's not how I unwind. Frankly, it's partly honest. BUT to be brutally honest, I think I'm safer within the confines of my home and responsibilities.

I prefer light music, less crowd for a winding down session - I am able to do that at home. I don't do alcohol, so that's another valid reason, although they do serve carbonated drinks.

I am on a level where I'm just existing - my scales are balanced, only because I'm not moving.

Going back to my last huge blow-up, I have decided to just exist - until I am ready to deal with the situation.

I have had so many situations in my life, that if I wrote a book, it would run into volumes!

I don't mind the quiet evenings out, some alfresco dining, good company just so I don't need to add an entirely new season to the storyline. My story has to end this season, no more extensions, because I cannot handle it.

November 17, 2006

When in Rome, Do as the Romans Do

For the past week, I have had an uphill task because some people just don't get it. I haven't been all over the world to be able to say that the rental terms/policies here are unreasonable. Neither can I say that it is fair. All I can say is, when in Rome, do as the Romans do.
We cannot apply foreign laws here, and our laws do not have to apply outside our island. When will people understand that?
If there is any deviation from the practice, it's always at the discretion of the Landlord. One cannot expect the Landlord to automatically make provisions because it suits the Tenant. BTW, this tenant's son, works with my company in another city - we are a property consultancy.
It's annoying because the Tenant simply doesn't want to do it the Singapore way.
I have never come across such a pig-headed person. Pig-headed because he just lost the lease of an apartment only last week, for the same reason.
Such people deserve to be homeless, really - when that happens, I sure hope he knows that he caused it. Unfortunately, these people always externalise - they never, ever will have this freckle of a thought that it's them and not us.

November 15, 2006

heat and economics

I had the busiest 2 days in the last 3 months - I'm so zombied that i actually need an off day. Most times when i take off from work, i schedule to organise furniture, decorations, cleaning. This time, i'm ready to crash and sleep.
Early mornings are the laziest times for me. The cool morning air doesn't help. Thankfully, i'm not living in eskimo land, or I'd probably be just asleep the entire day. Perhaps, that's why animals hibernate in winter - I am a believer that we should always be on our toes, and kiv the sleeping sessions when we reach a ripe old age - yet, right now, i would love to crawl under the duvet and sleep until tomorrow.
I think that's the reason I was born in the tropics - any deviation from this zone will be fatal for my very economic existence! Therefore, my latest equation is:
tropical heat + me = productivity
temperate cool + me = slob

November 10, 2006

Familiarity

In my life, my best friends are usually guys. Perhaps it's because I'm not what you would call, a regular female. I would have the most bland reaction to any emotional crisis - and that was my trait for as long as I remember. My heart was not up for a roller-coaster ride and when I found myself on such a track, I'd jump off - never mind the broken bones - physical pain is easier to deal with.
It's not the bad experiences that made me this way, it's just my chemical make-up. I'm a walking time-bomb - tick tick tick - but I have a safety clip though - like the emergency STOP button.
So, what do I do, when I find familiarity getting to me?
Honestly, I don't know - and perhaps also because I don't wish to deal with it.
Familiarity comforts us, because we are not caught unaware, unless of course, you love surprises!

November 09, 2006

Same Ole Story

Mr Snowman, took off to his 2nd homeland and again, left a trail of loose ends. Never mind that we all make mistakes, but to repeatedly do that is either pure dumbness or a belief that nothing can go wrong.
Last year, during his pilgrimage, I got into a polite spat with his senior over a loose end. This year, apparently, the period of his absence was not clearly conveyed - all hell broke loose and as usual, his annual leave would always 'end' when he was not ready to come back.
Does history repeat itself? When does the cycle break?
I am definately a person who breaks rules, cycles and whatever it is that isn't supposed to be on my path. I wouldn't be able to survive my own acid tongue if I repeatedly made the same mistake. It's just not me - when I apparently choose the same route, it's usually because I found another way around it - it's just too stressful to be at the same ole story, on a different time frame.
Time is something we can never go back on. It moves along and doesn't wait for us to awaken from a comfortable slumber. In my data bank, I have had too many shares of bad mistakes - often, it was because of my being stubborn and offensive. I'm in my life now, to gather good memories and turn my war-torn life into the united nations. If I were to pen the all errors at the turning points in my life, I would have to sell them in volumes.
I hope Mr Snowman realises that he's not getting any younger and the sooner he takes stock of his sloppiness, the better it will be for him, because IF the sun decides to shine hard on him, he might just melt away and become part of the deep ocean!

November 08, 2006

Metal and Me


A colleague of mine did some calculations and informed me that I got my 'lucky' colour right, BUT I still needed something 'metal'. I must have screwed up my face big time, because then she immediately volunteered a suggestion. She suggested that I wear bracelet strap watches instead of my favourite leather-type.
On a normal day, I would have just ignored it - but instead of being such a skeptic, I decided to use that as an excuse to go shopping. I walked into my favourite watch shop and walked out minutes later with another Seiko. *duh
Yes, I could have changed the leather strap of the current Seiko to it's original metal bracelet, but Nooooooo, I had to go buy myself another....so typical of me.
AND how could I survive with just ONE watch right? So I'm going on the hunt - perfect!
Looking back on the past 7 days - I think she gave me good advice, and I don't regret one penny I've spent on this watch.

November 03, 2006

clearing clutter

It's tough to be working almost the entire day and then go home and clear the endless clutter. Mind you, it's not always the clutter that I created - since we all live with other people in our homes, with other ideas about what constitutes 'clutter'.
In my observation, older people tend to have this habit of throwing things into a plastic bag, knotting it and off it goes either under the table or into the drawer. For sometime now, I've been trying to figure out, where this habit began.
Then I notice that hospitals dispense medication in such bags, and they cable-tie it! Wa Lah, that's where this idea came from!
So, I have been busy going through my home, and throwing out plastic bags, once I identify the contents. I have ever disposed of bags, without even peeking in! My rule of thumb : If you haven't looked into that bag for ages, it's probably something you do not need......
AND so I have been busy every day after work, wiping down the walls, moving furniture, and throwing things out - this is a constant renewal for me - I do not need a season or reason - I do it because I believe in keeping my space free of clutter.
As we do not like excess baggages, we should not be afraid to move on and do major disposal. If you don't like a memory, just erase it! If you don't like the table, just call the Salvation Army! Recycle and allow others to Reuse - it's unselfish and when applied to our lives, it helps us operate clutter free as well.