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July 30, 2007

More on bad drivers...

I cannot begin to imagine why, when a vehicle uses a certain road all the time, he still makes the same silly decisions. In Katong, where the cars are parked on the left, it would make sense for drivers to simply keep to the right lane. BUT no, every morning, you get vehicles at the Still Road traffic junction, driving fast enough, only to jam their brakes just before the first parked car. Of course I know what they intended to do actually - step on the gas, try to get ahead of the car on the right lane and squeeze in.
I cannot understand why they just simply won't travel slower - if you vehicle's pick up is s-l-o-w then it's s-l-o-w ; no matter how much of gas you pump, you'll still be almost kissing the back of the parked car. This morning it was a blue van, shaped like a Vito. Just because he's larger than most cars, he tried to squeeze - of course the cars won't give way, coz he wasn't polite in the first place. They all left the traffic junction at the same time, and being a frequent driver on that road, any one would tell you that cars WILL BE PARKED along the left side - which is why, the right lane always has a queue of cars trying to clear the traffic light, unless they are turning left, at the junction to the ECP.
After that tight squeeze, the driver rammed his vehicle, only to have to stop less than 20m away coz cars were turning right into Joo Chiat. It was quite hilarious really to see the personification of stupidity. With the windows up and a/c running, I could hear VITO's engine revving leaving a trail of grey smoke....then his brake lights came on ...
I was about 3 car lengths away.
*sigh

July 27, 2007

World Class? Blah!

A friend was telling me about how she was hauled to Night Court because of arrears in her payment for conservancy fees. I think everyone would agree that if we had the money, we would pay up on time.
Penalties are levied on late payment of bills. After the reminders, a 'legal' letter will be sent to demand for payment. After that, a court date will be given to recover the arrears. This also means that what you owe, have ballooned. If a family is not able to pay up a small sum, what makes the law makers think, upping the sum is the solution? Well, by the time it escalates to night court, that chap would have gone to his friends, loansharks, relatives to borrow that sum - which is actually the whole objective, isn't it?
People HAVE to pay bills - it doesn't matter if the cost of living have gone up - or that they really don't have enough to go around, living from hand to mouth. They are already in a tight situation, but it's ok, we have a world-class system to ensure that ALL collections due are recovered. Never mind if these families have to borrow from other people - I know, because twice already, I have volunteered such monies to 2 different families.
I was also told that when they went there, they were treated like cattle - people there were not helpful and not nearly as courteous. My guess is : Well, since you people defaulted, you don't deserve politeness or courtesy.
That's the sad part of living here. As long as there is no SOP, most people working in such departments, would not have the mind OR knowledge to be naturally polite or helpful. We should not discriminate just because people at the night court are delinquent in their payments. They deserve common courtesy like everyone else. One mandarin speaking man was rudely brushed aside by the clerks - she waved her hand (as if to dismiss him) saying "I don't speak mandarin" ; and continued to ignore him, instead of getting someone else to assist him.

I think it's time, everyone stopped using the phrase "WORLD CLASS" when majority have no clue what that encompasses.

July 26, 2007

Woes of a Road User

A lot of motorists here lack discipline, road courtesy and are not decisive. It's always the case that because of this lot, other cars get themselves into an accident.
I have witnessed cars, almost at a traffic junction, suddenly just decides to accelerate (which is ok, coz if they don't make it, they will be caught on camera). It's worse, when they suddenly decide to stop. There will be arguments that the car behind, should observe road safety by keeping a safe distance. QUESTION: what is a safe distance, when during peak hours, the traffic is almost bumper to bumper?
I have also witnessed cars, thinking about changing lanes, but not sure. How do you spot them? Easy. They are the ones driving almost along the lines drawn to demark the lanes. When you honk at them, they get offended. They didn't have the mind to realise that what they did is dangerous.
Then there are those, who suddenly decide to change lanes, eventhough they can see a car approaching. They flip the blinker switch on when you are 2 car lengths away at a cruising speed. It's ok to want to change lanes when the approaching car is close, but make sure, YOUR CAR CAN PICK-UP SPEED AS QUICK! We know that not all cars have great pick-up, so, it's not fair to dawdle out of your lane, and expect the ABS brakes on the approaching car to read your mind.
Then there are the weekend cars. 8 minutes to 7am, a time when these cars with red plates HAVE TO BE KEPT (unless they have a day use coupon), I see more than 10 weekend cars, speeding to get to their destination before witching hour. Majority of the weekend car drivers only drive weekends, they don't clock enough hours to be familiar with their car, yet they speed down the expressway, just to save on the Road Tax. Has the value of our life, been reduced to the savings on the road tax?
Finally, the motocyclists.
There are some who never heard of back lights, others who zip in and out of lanes, avoiding cars, which are much larger than them, and probably slower to react; and those who travel in the center lane, and road hog. They know a car is tailing them, yet they don't make any attempt to move - they expect the car to change lanes and overtake, but not them, they are too big for that.
What has gone wrong with all these people?
People who buy tiny cars, cars you can fold and keep in your living room, but yet, trouble has been taken to illegally upgrade the engine, bore the pistons, strut bars and whatever else they can pack into this little box of surprises. The small mind think big syndrome. Hey, if the car is safe with all these illegal installations, then why didn't the manufacturer install them in the first place?
Hah, I forgot about those ultra bright headlamps.
I now think, we all must be so blind, we need HD/FOG LAMPS (whatever it's called) on a clear, dark night. Never mind if the oncoming car driver gets blinded temporarily because you turned on those lamps. After all, if he's the one who's going to be involved in an accident, and not you, the owner of a car with those lamps.

July 25, 2007

Missing the boat

I don't know which is the greater evil - having passed the mid-year marker or not? Come August, we will be 4 months from end of the year, meaning, schools' out and I don't have to 'rise' before the sun does - it also means, there is fresh hope in the new year. Before June, time takes forever to move. It's too new in the current year for planning of any sort.
Perhaps, it's just me, feeling melodramatic, because I'm miserable.
I had one very important item on my TO-DO list this year, and sadly, I have done nothing about it, except defer, defer and defer. Yes, I'm referring to studying. I'm so concerned that I won't have time to focus on reading, when I'm not clear on my work direction. This brings to mind many times when children are told, when in school, study, because when you start work, it's tough to juggle.
Although juggling comes to me naturally, having had to do that for 150% of my life, I have cold feet, just thinking about having to RE a paper, because I didn't read enough. I was so desperate, I thought of just doing another major entirely! Psych is not something you can 'smoke' your way through. I was telling myself that even if I finished this programme, I wasn't even sure if I would practice - so why bother?
Times like this are not confusing, but just depressing.
We must be patient, and take a look at the situation squarely for a direction.
BUT I'm out of patience - because with each New Year, is another year extra I have taken a sabbathical. When I started out 5 years ago, this industry was my playground. Today, the tables have turned and it's freakking me out.
I guess that's why we should take official sabbathicals - that way we are given a fixed duration to be away, and we are compelled to come back, so to speak. I wonder if I missed my boat - perhaps that's why the jetty keeps shifting farther and farther away.

July 24, 2007

Therapy?

I have had a long month. Somehow, I imagined July to move quickly, since we've crossed the mid-year marker. In any case, thankfully, we're approaching August - with one public holiday on the calendar.
Most times, I would grab the opportunity to go outstation, but this time, my energy levels have dwindled. Working the past few weekends didn't help at all - since that would mean, having to catch up on cleaning the house. People enjoy shopping, I enjoy clearing up clutter. Of course I love shopping, but that has never been my priority since I buy whatever, whenever.
It doesn't matter how we spend our 'free' time, as long as we enjoy doing whatever. For some, household chores may be tiresome, for me, it's therapy. When I'm busy cleaning up, no one bothers me except my parrot who waddles along with me.
Therapy can be classified as anything that is positive for the mind and soul. This time, I need a douse of energising therapy - to just get the work stress off. Perhaps, when the house is squeaky clean and I get some fresh paint on some walls, I'll feel differently about my lethargy.
The wonders of our mind, how easily we con it.

July 19, 2007

of broken wings......

I was watching a movie on TV yesterday about a novelist who stopped writing for 20 years because his wife passed on. A young writer was sent by the publisher to persuade the novelist to return to writing. In the end, the young writer got him to admit that it was fear that kept him from going back to what he was really good at doing.
I think everyone has that fear built-in, at least regular people do. We dream of dreams, but whether we have the ability or not (in the first place) plays a heavy part in whether we actually attempt to realise the dream. Money aside, stepping out of our comfort zone, is discomforting.

A priest in that show, talked to the young writer about a bird with a broken wing - how the psych of the bird changed to that of one that couldn't fly. It must have hurt the bird very much, to have a wing broken, and not be able to fly like the rest of the flock. But one day, a strong gust of wind blew the little bird off the ground, and fearing for his life, he flapped his now recovered wings....of course he flew.

Perhaps, we all need strong gusts of wind to get us really moving.
Perhaps that's why some of us do best, when our backs are pressed against the wall...because then we have no choice but to find a way out - and when choices are limited, we'll make the best of what we have.

I'm now searching for a tornado which is brewing so that I could stand in it's path!

July 17, 2007

Motorists and the Angsana tree

On Sunday, the 80-year old Angsana tree along Braddell Road was chopped to pieces because some motorists apparently had 'near accidents', trying to avoid it. It's gone, so I will not grip about it, but I would like to put my opinion in perspective.

Outside Mt Alvernia Hospital, is another such road split, only it's more dangerous. Cars also do not slow down there, even with LTA having a sign that warns of the road split. I wonder why that concrete pillar holding up the flyover above wasn't removed? Ah, I guess it's because they could not move it, lest the flyover collapses!

Along Mountbatten Road, towards Nicoll Highway, is also another road split. This time, the pillar is holding up a pedestrain overhead pass. Motorists also do not slow down, and for those having to take the extreme left lane, it's a squeeze, because just at the pillar, the lane curves and is very narrow.

That is why our earth is suffering.
Every tree is valuable and the reason of motorists having near accidents is LAME, because there are at least 2 other sites, mentioned above, which has the same problem.

Instead of educating of motorists that getting one car length ahead of another car is not going to mean we won the Nobel Prize for speed, we get rid of the tree.

If our mentality is that to 'get rid of' things, then don't blame Mother Nature for eventually getting rid of all of us. Tit for Tat.

July 13, 2007

When is LOVE, ever enough?

This week, my colleagues and I had a hot topic of conversation - finding Mr Right for another colleague.
In her life, she had one boyfriend, whom she broke up with, because she felt she didn't love him enough. Question : When is Love, ever enough?
Generations ago, marriages were match-made - and generations ago, marriages lasted - on the flip side, we could argue that many may have also stayed unhappily married - because divorce was taboo and a stigma.
These days, when couples marry, most would cite 'love'.
After 5 days, we decided that it wasn't 'love' that kept the marriage going year after year after year. It was, CARE.
When you care for someone, you tend to be there for that person, almost regardless. You care about what happens to that person, you care enough to be there for that person, expecting nothing in return. It's friendship that motivates the relationship.
When you love someone, you tend to have expectations.
When the expectations are not met, disappointments set in and love fades.

This seems so 'in a nutshell', but give it more thought and you'll see that it's true.
Like this beautiful tree, a friendship lasts many many years - almost 'happily' - nothing to measure up to, because when you care, you care - with no agenda in mind except for the well-being of the other person. THAT can and will grow the relationship.

When love dies, so does your relationship.
In answer to the question : Love is never enough.

July 09, 2007

What 'kills' males

Of the many decent men that I have come across, many are prey to their own genetic lego. A man can be successful, respected, hardworking and everything that contributes to the general society, but his weakness would be his EGO.
The few that are not affected by this brick, are seriously rare.
No matter how 'good a friend' a male can be to a woman, he needs his EGO to be fanned constantly, which is unfortunate when his boss is female. When that doesn't happen, he tries to gain sympathy by using whatever material wealth he has in form of dinners/lunches. It's pathetic and really, if we drew similar lines, it's almost like he was trying to 'sleep his way to the top'.
When women do that, it's frowned upon.
When men do that, it's ok, only because he didn't drop his clothes, only his wallet.
Principles are the same though.
I think everyone can be successful in whatever they set out to do if their vision is clear and they do it on their own steam.
Male or female, we are all working class and respect should be the order of the day.
Just because we are females, doesn't give the male any right for special treatment, lest his ego gets bruised.
Men should just admire women for their determination, strengths, abilities and not by his ego yardstick, which tells him that such women do not deserve the recognition they have earned because women do not have the Y chromosome.
Men should realise that the Y chromosome doesn't really factor very much in the genetic heritage, except to hand down the EGO brick.

July 03, 2007

Easing up

Before coming to a decision to end a relationship, most would weigh the pros and cons. That is provided of course, that there is no third party adding pressure to the decision making process. The pros and cons of a relationship is very different from that in a debatable statement. It has to do with how the family nuclei will react and adapt to the new status quo.
Most times, people think, if the children are young, they will adapt better. Actually that is not quite true. Life experiences take us a long way, and it sticks to the sub-conscious, cropping up unknowingly. Even when children are older, it's not always easy for them to accept a change in this proportion.
I came from a broken family and that has taught me only one thing - that if it doesn't fit, try another pair. And if that still doesn't fit, then just walk barefoot.
I never had a lesson or the opportunity to complete the video of what true love really is - and I have been led to believe that it's just fiction. There is no such thing as true love for another person, because mostly, we love ourselves most; children aside.
So when all else fails and we get taken through this rough patch over and over again - the inevitable happens - the story becomes too much of a repetition - and we get tired of it all.
The only other problem is, how do we throw a stone into this sea without causing ripples? It's tough.
The solution would be to make changes subtly. Like when a relationship begins, two people grow onto each other, so we will just have to grow ourselves apart. That way, the dividing crack will not be a gaping hole in seconds - giving those around, time to adjust.
An idea, I hope would work, because I'm not one for subtleness - I'd rather just take a parang and chop it off.

July 02, 2007

Irrevocable Differences

The term irrevocable differences is one used in divorce courts. No one would ever give it much thought - since, if it was a legal term to get us out of our hell-hole, why bother what it truly means, right?
About 21 years after my divorce - I am beginning to understand this term totally.
People don't change - they just develop coping skills.
When the crystal vase doesn't get hurled onto a wall during a frustrating quarrel, that's not change, it's either we have found a better way to de-fuse, OR we have given up and just couldn't care less. I don't know which is the lesser evil.
If I were the party who pissed me off, I would rather hear that shatter, then be put in the freezer box. Men talk about their women giving them the silent treatment - I wonder if they have a clue even, about how pissed off they must have made the woman.
Remember the saying, still waters run deep - it's true.
When the care becomes, don't care - then it's easy to just ignore and keep silent. After all, why bother continue in a conversation with a dork?
When the silence continues on for weeks, and months, then you know what, the relationship is at breaking point, because if a person could exist without the other, then there is no relationship to salvage.
Irrevocable differences means, we have gone past the silences - we do not wish for history to be repeated present day because history belongs in the past. When two people are too different in how they are brought up, when their characters are just too diverse for any coping mechanism to be successful, then that's a relationship that is laden with anger and disappointment.
This relationship doesn't bring on tears anymore - it's gone past that too.
To get to this point in a relationship, we would have gone through years of explanations, anguish, tears, hurt and apologies. BUT all that is just part of this whole cycle of the inevitable - it's finished.