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December 27, 2006

View from the TOP







These pictures were taken when my girlfriend had her face buried between her hands. We were all terrified of heights, although it didn't amount to 'phobia'.



When suspended, one could only think of falling and an ungracious landing, crushing the fresh grass, ferns and breaking each 261 bones in our body. Every time the car passes the pole - there will be this creaking sound of metal - it's frightful - for a person who hates horror movies, this was the ultimate.



BUT I managed to busy myself with the breathtaking view - me and my love for the very beauty I believe exists in every facet of this earth and our very being.



Many thoughts rushed through my mind - for one, I couldn't have found a better place to end the Y2006....to be reminded that amongst all the wickedness, selfishness, rudeness and all negative attributes that I have come across this year from people, there is a great Maker.



The people who do nothing but create unhappiness for others, simply got lost and started becoming weeds....not even grass, which is good enough for the cows to consume!



IN THE END, it will the be fauna and flora that will florish, because it grows taller, with each choking twine of the weed - The sun will provide the warmth, the rain washes the bitterness away and the death of the weeds will disintegrate into the soil.....



Pity those who make a career of making another's life miserable.



They do not realise that life is about helping each other grow.....

December 25, 2006

A borrowed Christmassy feelin


This was the most expensive Christmas Eve dinner ever for me! Yet, I went ahead because it's my personal tradition, like a yearly pilgrimage...
Because I'm not a festive person, I have to cheat i.e. soak in the external atmosphere so that I will feel a little bit more Christmassy.
I must say, dinner was really elaborate - but like all Christmas eve dinners, the decorations and carolling alone, will create that elaborate atmosphere!
I have no regrets, except that being a small eater, buffet spreads are a waste of money on me...
The spread included lobster, crayfish, prawns, meat selections....wonderful desserts, and the list goes on....and the atmosphere was glorious....punctuated with almost angels' voices echoing throughout the atrium....
To add to the festive atmosphere, the weather was cool and wet....almost like a snowless winter...
BUT, next year, I'm planning to spend christmas elsewhere.....I need to find the christmassy feeling on my own, without the frills.....I cannot be so hopeless that I can't do it on my own!

December 22, 2006

Am I ready for Y2007

I don't know because there are so many things left unsettled, work wise, that is.
The office is decorated and we have a buffet spread at our break-out area. In fact, everyone is so cheery today.......I am too, except...coming from me, what is a blog without an "except" rite?

I haven't done my deep thinking, neither have I made a check on my mental list - something like a new years resolution, but less complicated than that.
I am NOT READY to move forward into the new year...perhaps it's cold feet - coz I will be studying next year, time to hit the books.

I am not impulsive, but when my application went in, it was because I didn't want to fall into ranks of people who have dreams yet never making it a reality. I am a realist who have strayed away from the primary objective.

I am not ready to put on my thinking cap and split the load between my maddening job and the books. What if I am not dedicated enough and my grades come back embarassing, by my standards?

I guess we will always have times, when we feel so pressured because we need to perform in excellence. I have zero support - I have only me, my wits and me, to get me through 2007. I have lost contact with my soul-mate and he wouldn't be there to guide me through, like he was before.

So, very reluctantly, i'm inching my way towards 2007....hoping to tip-toe into the year!

December 21, 2006

Nothing Left to hang-on to...

What happens when there is nothing much to hang on to?
Thankfully, there are choices.
One can always plod along, like what most of us do, OR One could decide to make changes.
Which brings me to another crossroad : what are the changes and the costs?

Life is a maze of questions and crossroads. There will never be the perfect life, where we could just wake up each day and have no decisions to make. BUT that is not including the tidy group of people who CHOOSE not to make decisions albeit the sole decision of not taking responsibility at all. These are "I pass the buck to you" classification type.

I do not understand, how these people were even allowed to come to this world and wreck havoc to lives of people around them. But, they are here, and will continue to be here because that's life.

Back to the question of the day.
Well, if I have nothing left to hang on to, I will simply just get on with my life, ignore the irritation and make the best of what's left........of me.

No regrets, nothing.
I do not have to take the irritation personally, because I have given up, a long time ago.
It may come across like I do not care enough for myself to think about my happiness.
BUT then, isn't that a state of mind?

December 20, 2006

Heartbeat skippin' christmas

When does our heart skip a beat?
Usually it's related to matters of the heart - like when we're in the company of someone we care greatly about and the person probably doesn't have a clue.
I wouldn't say that everyone is dense to the power of infinity, but sometimes, it's just not too convenient to know - because it's not a means to an end.
There is nothing bleak about this observation, because it's true. It happens to everyone and especially now, during Christmas season. Christmas is after all, a season of love. Love means giving unconditionally - it doesn't have to come all wrapped, but it's the time we remember our loved ones and those who have nobody to give them the warmth of being cared for.
I failed terribly this year because I haven't had the discipline to do my bit for the Alone. YET, I have been blessed more than ever in the Year 2006, which I'm thankful for, but doesn't qualify as an excuse. I have lived through this maddening year and ended it on a good note.
To TOP it all, this morning, my day began with a little surprise, it came wrapped, of course.
My heart skipped a beat.

December 19, 2006

The weather and me


My favourite kind of weather - cold and wet.

It's great for sleeping in, but the damper is - it's a work day today!

BUT I enjoyed to ride to work, although the cars were bumper to bumper because I could watch water rushing fast on the road shoulder, the sound of the rain on the windscreen, the splash as tyres cut the water and the most awesome sight was when I saw the buildings, partly covered with 'clouds'.

THAT is awesome.

It made my day, I was very late for work, but it made my day.

Imagine if I were born in temperate lands, I'd probably be less grouchy and impatient, and a whole different persona would make-up ME.

December 18, 2006

Dumping TOP DOLLAR man

In the whole of my life, I have been labelled 'the dumper' as opposed to 'the dumped'. In my books, my valid reason is : my need to achieve my objective with the least possible trouble yet keeping to a book of codes.
This is my mantra, for my personal life, career, post-grad studies, buying choices - everything.

Back to topics of before : People do not change.
They may surprise us for that one rare moment, but believe me, it's always for another reason, probably to their advantage.

Therefore, I have learnt to think 3-steps ahead - to allow myself time to react in the corresponding yet face-slapping way, hence the dumper attitude.

Respect for others is so important. If we cannot respect another being, what does that make us? Definately nothing that's classified in the zoology index!

I do not enjoy dumping, but I definately enjoy keeping to my rules because at the end of the day, I decide who I want to talk to or deal with. Money cannot buy my time or patience, because I am not for sale.

December 15, 2006

what we are worth


When someone irks you and rubs you the wrong way, could you put a price to that? If we had to put a value-tag on every person and every experience, how much would it cost us to plod through a regular work day?

The saying is "$ TIME IS MONEY $", yet, if you go behind the actual meaning - it would sound more like "DON'T WASTE MY TIME". Why is time so precious? Because once it passes, it can never come back. This moment, will pass and become etched in our memory and archived in the museum as HISTORY.

I believe in hard work and sincerity.

BUT I would rather loose $2000 than allow another to say as they please, simply because they felt like it.

So the moral of the story is, treat each person with respect, because there will come a time, when your money is not worth the other person's time.

When that happens, you're more broke than the last person made bankrupt!

December 14, 2006

Friends, supposedly

What happens when someone you are supposedly close to just decides to loose it, and does something totally unexpected and hurts you?
I've seen it happen, watched it happen and even experienced that myself. It's not the anger that eats us up, but the disbelief. When it happened to me, I just took it in my stride and moved on. I am really good at being cordial that it's amazing how I keep my mouth from splurting the demand for explanations.
People who do that are usually insecure and need to make a statement.
Trouble is, when the parties involved are friends, then that is a really lame excuse. Friends see beyond weaknesses, but it has to work both ways. Close friends are supposed to go way beyond that, meaning, they look out for each other, not rob the other when heads are turned.
No matter how bad we expect another to behave, disappointment and disbelief will still set in. Why, because of the friendship.
It takes all kinds to make the world - so cliche
BUT we still have a choice on how we move on from there - not easy -
If we cannot find the strength to move on, then we should quietly move away and keep things at a distance so that another such opportunity will not present itself to totally destroy the friendship. It will, because for anything to work, it takes two.
If the effort to preserve the true meaning of being friends is left to ONE person, then it's not a friendship to begin with.

December 13, 2006

Story of the "top dollar" man

It's amazing how people love to think that they are UP-THERE in society. Most times, this happens to the 'wannabes', never to those who really have.
What do we do about such people, who think just because they have a different skin colour, that we will allow them to say and do whatever they want? I say, that we should not retaliate, but just move on and let karma take it's course. It may sound as the easy way out, but well, it's not, because I for one, do not let people get off that easily.
BUT these people, do not deserve my time or anyone's for that matter. They have downgraded themselves from irritating to just plain beach bum stupid.
Wherever we may be, respect should always be the order of the day. To begin with, they didn't have enough money to put down as security deposits on time and having gotten all that sorted out, they are now griping about the quality of the curtains, the brands of the dishwasher.......
Having had ENOUGH of their TOP DOLLAR shit, I told this TOP DOLLAR mans' son that I'm not giving him any referral fee, because I have decided not to claim any commission for this case from the Landlords agent.
No matter what we do, we should never allow people to step all over us.
To me, MR TOP DOLLAR and his son and wife can go eat my dust, because I may have found this apartment for them, but I certainly do not need my share of the S$4300 fees, whilst their son, even sent me an email for his fair share of the referral fee of $215.

TOP DOLLAR indeed.

I have given up $2150 but that's ok, because I would rather not be associated with such people - they just generate negative energy and bad karma.

So I am happy now that I am rid of them.

The insults they have spewed out about SINGAPORE makes me wonder, why the hell they decided to work here in the first place. They should have just stayed on their beach back home and make paper boats out of their TOP DOLLARS.

created or caused


Whilst soaking in the rural surroundings and breathing the salty air, I wonder if situations are created or caused. There is a difference -

To me, when a situation is created, it could well be beyond our control although we may have steered the ship. Ownership of the situation could belong to anyone or everyone collectively.

When a situation is caused, then someone is more likely to have been the one who took a stand, resulting in the situation.

When something is created, it could have been by divine intervention like Adam & Eve! OR by reporting in the press some news to create a hype.

Things do not become 'caused' - there will be other connecting facets as an explanation.

The words are almost interchangeable, yet it's not.


So, I would like to think that my work situation is more causal than created, although that would imply that somewhere, I let it happen, which I did, to a certain extent by doing nothing about it.


Therefore, as long as no one creates problems in terms of hygiene, mosquito-borne diseases etc, about this food-joint on silts, nothing can cause it to shut down. If it does, we will not be able to go back in time to appreciate the simpler things in life.

December 12, 2006

Getting it Right

My day started with curtains not sewn right. It was a 'sunday longer than monday' syndrome. The blackout backing was longer than the actual night curtain. The receiving party was obviously not amused - but it's not life or death, just not right.
Then the name card guy sends my name cards, with the corrected word, but wrong extensions, wrong fax numbers etc. This is after I sent him a copy of the wrong name card and circled the mistake which he should correct - only that ONE WORD.
For a person like me, that didn't look like a good start to the day BUT being the optimist that I try to be, I shall continue to look forward to the rest of the afternoon.
But what does it take to get something rite?
I think listening is important, and taking pride in your work, no matter how whimsical it may be (at that moment). We should do quality control, as long as we are required for some output. It's easier to sew then to unpick the sewn hem. It's also easier to check for the location before leaving for that destination, rather than get lost and then figuring it out. Most of all, it's like speaking. Think before you speak, because to retract that, may be impossible.
It does take a lot to get things rite, but it's worth the hassle, because not all undoings are easy!

December 11, 2006

What's the Bottom Line?

We are just about 21 days to Y2007 and I am STILL on the reverse gear. I have tried to be chirpy like my birds, optimistic by looking at a new car, sympathetic by not getting easily upset but this good-naturedness has got nothing to do with the Christmas spirit. It's my system, slowing shutting down for the hibernation!
Work doesn't seem so exciting anymore. I used to be so motivated by the idea of work that I can honestly be mistaken for the bumper sticker that reads "CAN'T CATCH ME!". Waking up at 5.30am was dreadful, but after the hot H2O hits me, I'm wide awake, like i've drowned myself in 20 cups of coffee. These days, even when I get 90 minutes added on for snoozing, I need a cold shower to wake me up.
So, What's the Bottom Line?
The festive bug bit me and I'm infected.

December 08, 2006

Time flying

Is it a good sign when time flies?
I thought I began this week on an even footing, planning my schedule properly, penning what I had to get done instead of relying on my ageing brain and smiling when i'm at work. No such luck. I'm at Friday, and I don't feel like a week's gone by.
It's understandable that December IS the shortest month of the year, not February, since no matter what you do, we're always nearer to the new year, but I am sure, this december 2006, somehow is a record holder for sprinting!
The plus side is, we have the new year to look forward to - different directions, better opportunities, more money and perhaps cleaner messes!
We should not regret because that's like admitting we didn't plan well. We should give ourselves a pat on the back and say, hey, we really have done our best and it's time to soak in the Christmassy feeling and enjoy the company of friends in this season of giving.
So for me, it's a good sign that time flies, because any more of this, and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between furniture and me!

December 06, 2006

River Ride


At lunch-time today, we decided on a river ride to Clarke Quay. Not that we couldn't drive, but I guess my colleagues wanted to break the monotony of our 'schedule'.
This is certainly not the best picture of the river, but then, it goes to show that even during our lunch break, we think about real estate all the time. I took this picture, because a client was keen on this building.
Is it too late for me to go back to my major? Have I been wheeling and dealing for too long?
Imagine that, of all the wonderful skyline and rows of conservation shophouses with alfresco dining along the river-walk with colourful patio umbrellas, I took a picture of an uncompleted building.
THAT is so SAD!

December 04, 2006

Shuffling feet

As the year draws to a close, tiredness sets in - I think I'm in a marathon with no finish line ever. I'm trying to slow down and get into reverse gear, deliberately.
There are times and many times again, when we feel that we have taken a wrong turn, found the landscape interesting, decided to meander further, almost loosing our way in the maze, forgetting how we got there in the first place.
So, I need to use the reverse gear to get back on the main road.
I'm almost done with my objective for this portfolio and I have started looking around for another farm with milk-laden cows - fresh milk for me from now on, no more less fat, more calcium stuff. It's terrible when you're enjoying your milk and someone reminds you that it's the less creamy milk that you're consuming.
I know it's healthier and all that, but having one life to live, and half a life ahead, I want the half to be FULL - which cannot sound so bad, since, living is certainly better than existing.
So I'm still shuffling my feet on the sand but looking hard at where the wind would blow the dust. Perhaps, the wind would lead me onto this megafarm and perhaps when I am there, I will be able to just be irresponsible and move on.

November 29, 2006

Sense of Urgency & You

Some of us like to wrap things up quickly, zap, zap, zap. Some others, prefer to walk around the carousel, before actually hopping on. Then there are others, who are in perpetual state of being at the crossroads, not able to move, simply because they do not know how.
Take a situation where all 3 characters are involved in one situation with exactly the same objective. What we possibly will end up with is total frustration, confusion and many egos will be battered to bits!
I understand that it takes all kinds to make the world, but it's a wonder that a lot of people are able to exist without this sense of urgency. They are able to function on a single gear on their life road when even CARS are not able to do that! Manufacturers put in a few optional gears be it an automatic or manual transmission vehicle................need I say more.
There is no expectation for these people to start looking for their gear, so that they may switch to a higher one. And until they find such expectations for themselves, we are just very much stuck with these road hogs!

November 28, 2006

Keeping to Plan

Everyone has the tendency to keep within our comfort zones and keep things status quo. BUT there will come a time, when we feel this need to break away, and either do something different OR get back on track. I chose to 'get back on track'.
Its not a new track - it's my original track that became a dirt path, because it was unattended for so long. I needed to get onto that dirt path, simply because that was my original pathway, until I got side-tracked and made this dirt path my main road!
Of course, being at the tip of December of 2006 didn't help, because it's cliche month for everyone - to make new year resolutions blah blah blah, including 'I never make new year resolutions' person like me. To be typically normal, I will have to say, BUT THIS IS NOT A NEW YEAR RESOLUTION - because if I don't, I would stay on this 'dirt path' forever. I do not make excuses for myself, because to me, that's the lamest way that I could live. I have lived my life with the least of regrets - I'm coping with those little regrets - which would be another topic for another day ; but for now, I'm Keeping to Plan and having executed stage one, i should be clearing this dirt path so that I could zip on it with ease!

November 24, 2006

Which Ship?

For people who are patient and forgiving, the lines never get crossed. For those who are impatient and unforgiving, the lines are getting so crossed, it's not a line anymore, but a grid. For those in between that, they try to find relevant excuses and move on from there.
We tend to be more forgiving when in a friendship than in a relationship - whether it is a pairing relationship or a working relationship.
This is the age-old discussion that expectations in a relationship are on a steeper gradient - which naturally adds pressure. In a pairing relationship, the couple is finding it's footing and building a foundation for permanance. There is almost no room for constant bickering and anger, because that will add baggage that will only serve to be a stumbling hurdle later.
In a working relationship, the ties are less tight, but still crucial to a successful career, and income for oneself. Having that bond compromised may cause career suicide - so our extreme reactions may stem out of our self-preservation instincts.
Friendships promote a feel-good factor minus all the anchor. We don't have to deal with that person if we are not up to it. And our selfishness at that moment, will not be detrimental to the friendship, because friends understand.
My point, before you take out someone, determine if that person is sharing a relationSHIP or a friendSHIP with you. Because if it's the wrongSHIP you're on, then it's unplanned consequences galore.

November 23, 2006

The Narcissistic Experience

This may be the worst, that anyone can be entwined in. Narcissistic's are extremely selfish and self-centered. They have grandiose views of themselves and are constantly preoccupied with fantasies of their great successes. They do not adapt very well to whichever framework they are within, because of their inability to have empathy or recognition of another's good work and their arrogance that preying on the 'weaker' is an entitlement.
I have one in my midst, and it's tiring, because I am on a sabbathical from anything that's related to psych.
This person needs consultation but I am quite certain, it's not going to be easy for anyone to see a change, even if there is a therapist at hand. I have been studying this chap for quite a bit, and I'm saddened that he has no clue at all about how his lies, behaviour, and more lies, are hurting his reputation and credibility. But that's the problem with this, they just don't get it.
Perhaps, this will be motivation for me to get the ball rolling and to set a game plan for myself to go back to where I came from.
As a therapist, I would be more patient and less critical - right now, I am neither, and I have made the decision to throw him out because it's my job to safeguard the rest.

November 21, 2006

another new year soon

As the end of Y2006 draws near, it's time to clean out closets, clear annual leave, set targets for the coming year and embrace life to-date. I have many things to be thankful for, yet I'm still looking at a glass that's half-empty, not half-full. Most times, I'm happy, yet, inbetween that, I find myself not truly unhappy, but just on this plateau, zero gradient.
Why are we always trying to hop onto the other side of the lawn? It's human nature and it keeps HOPE alive. It's also part of learning. When we are done on the other side, somehow, another fence will pop up, and we are back on another fence, looking another part of the field. If ever, the fence comes up right next to a wall, I will know that my vision has failed me and I have really come to the end of the road of my life! The wall would probably have pop-ups on my life, like a huge LCD screen and then I would fall into the black hole.
Our lives are interconnected with the lives of others, our reaction, dependant upon that of others. How can we say we are truly alone? But I still feel that, sometimes. I did not become wiser this year, just more tolerant, in a bad way. I have learnt to 'not bother' and just brush my unhappiness aside.
I'm trying to slam the brakes on the 31st of December because it's just too soon for me - I'm not ready to compromise, neither am I ready to shout Happy New Year, because there is nothing new for me to be happy about...................yet.

November 20, 2006

no noisy night out for me


What is it with me that makes me the 'do not go clubbing' type? My gfs are confused, and with good reason too.

To brush it aside, it's always because I'm too tired and it's not how I unwind. Frankly, it's partly honest. BUT to be brutally honest, I think I'm safer within the confines of my home and responsibilities.

I prefer light music, less crowd for a winding down session - I am able to do that at home. I don't do alcohol, so that's another valid reason, although they do serve carbonated drinks.

I am on a level where I'm just existing - my scales are balanced, only because I'm not moving.

Going back to my last huge blow-up, I have decided to just exist - until I am ready to deal with the situation.

I have had so many situations in my life, that if I wrote a book, it would run into volumes!

I don't mind the quiet evenings out, some alfresco dining, good company just so I don't need to add an entirely new season to the storyline. My story has to end this season, no more extensions, because I cannot handle it.

November 17, 2006

When in Rome, Do as the Romans Do

For the past week, I have had an uphill task because some people just don't get it. I haven't been all over the world to be able to say that the rental terms/policies here are unreasonable. Neither can I say that it is fair. All I can say is, when in Rome, do as the Romans do.
We cannot apply foreign laws here, and our laws do not have to apply outside our island. When will people understand that?
If there is any deviation from the practice, it's always at the discretion of the Landlord. One cannot expect the Landlord to automatically make provisions because it suits the Tenant. BTW, this tenant's son, works with my company in another city - we are a property consultancy.
It's annoying because the Tenant simply doesn't want to do it the Singapore way.
I have never come across such a pig-headed person. Pig-headed because he just lost the lease of an apartment only last week, for the same reason.
Such people deserve to be homeless, really - when that happens, I sure hope he knows that he caused it. Unfortunately, these people always externalise - they never, ever will have this freckle of a thought that it's them and not us.

November 15, 2006

heat and economics

I had the busiest 2 days in the last 3 months - I'm so zombied that i actually need an off day. Most times when i take off from work, i schedule to organise furniture, decorations, cleaning. This time, i'm ready to crash and sleep.
Early mornings are the laziest times for me. The cool morning air doesn't help. Thankfully, i'm not living in eskimo land, or I'd probably be just asleep the entire day. Perhaps, that's why animals hibernate in winter - I am a believer that we should always be on our toes, and kiv the sleeping sessions when we reach a ripe old age - yet, right now, i would love to crawl under the duvet and sleep until tomorrow.
I think that's the reason I was born in the tropics - any deviation from this zone will be fatal for my very economic existence! Therefore, my latest equation is:
tropical heat + me = productivity
temperate cool + me = slob

November 10, 2006

Familiarity

In my life, my best friends are usually guys. Perhaps it's because I'm not what you would call, a regular female. I would have the most bland reaction to any emotional crisis - and that was my trait for as long as I remember. My heart was not up for a roller-coaster ride and when I found myself on such a track, I'd jump off - never mind the broken bones - physical pain is easier to deal with.
It's not the bad experiences that made me this way, it's just my chemical make-up. I'm a walking time-bomb - tick tick tick - but I have a safety clip though - like the emergency STOP button.
So, what do I do, when I find familiarity getting to me?
Honestly, I don't know - and perhaps also because I don't wish to deal with it.
Familiarity comforts us, because we are not caught unaware, unless of course, you love surprises!

November 09, 2006

Same Ole Story

Mr Snowman, took off to his 2nd homeland and again, left a trail of loose ends. Never mind that we all make mistakes, but to repeatedly do that is either pure dumbness or a belief that nothing can go wrong.
Last year, during his pilgrimage, I got into a polite spat with his senior over a loose end. This year, apparently, the period of his absence was not clearly conveyed - all hell broke loose and as usual, his annual leave would always 'end' when he was not ready to come back.
Does history repeat itself? When does the cycle break?
I am definately a person who breaks rules, cycles and whatever it is that isn't supposed to be on my path. I wouldn't be able to survive my own acid tongue if I repeatedly made the same mistake. It's just not me - when I apparently choose the same route, it's usually because I found another way around it - it's just too stressful to be at the same ole story, on a different time frame.
Time is something we can never go back on. It moves along and doesn't wait for us to awaken from a comfortable slumber. In my data bank, I have had too many shares of bad mistakes - often, it was because of my being stubborn and offensive. I'm in my life now, to gather good memories and turn my war-torn life into the united nations. If I were to pen the all errors at the turning points in my life, I would have to sell them in volumes.
I hope Mr Snowman realises that he's not getting any younger and the sooner he takes stock of his sloppiness, the better it will be for him, because IF the sun decides to shine hard on him, he might just melt away and become part of the deep ocean!

November 08, 2006

Metal and Me


A colleague of mine did some calculations and informed me that I got my 'lucky' colour right, BUT I still needed something 'metal'. I must have screwed up my face big time, because then she immediately volunteered a suggestion. She suggested that I wear bracelet strap watches instead of my favourite leather-type.
On a normal day, I would have just ignored it - but instead of being such a skeptic, I decided to use that as an excuse to go shopping. I walked into my favourite watch shop and walked out minutes later with another Seiko. *duh
Yes, I could have changed the leather strap of the current Seiko to it's original metal bracelet, but Nooooooo, I had to go buy myself another....so typical of me.
AND how could I survive with just ONE watch right? So I'm going on the hunt - perfect!
Looking back on the past 7 days - I think she gave me good advice, and I don't regret one penny I've spent on this watch.

November 03, 2006

clearing clutter

It's tough to be working almost the entire day and then go home and clear the endless clutter. Mind you, it's not always the clutter that I created - since we all live with other people in our homes, with other ideas about what constitutes 'clutter'.
In my observation, older people tend to have this habit of throwing things into a plastic bag, knotting it and off it goes either under the table or into the drawer. For sometime now, I've been trying to figure out, where this habit began.
Then I notice that hospitals dispense medication in such bags, and they cable-tie it! Wa Lah, that's where this idea came from!
So, I have been busy going through my home, and throwing out plastic bags, once I identify the contents. I have ever disposed of bags, without even peeking in! My rule of thumb : If you haven't looked into that bag for ages, it's probably something you do not need......
AND so I have been busy every day after work, wiping down the walls, moving furniture, and throwing things out - this is a constant renewal for me - I do not need a season or reason - I do it because I believe in keeping my space free of clutter.
As we do not like excess baggages, we should not be afraid to move on and do major disposal. If you don't like a memory, just erase it! If you don't like the table, just call the Salvation Army! Recycle and allow others to Reuse - it's unselfish and when applied to our lives, it helps us operate clutter free as well.

October 30, 2006

Being in Love/Loving a Person

This is a tough one for everyone I'm sure. Because, although people do not really change in personality - what they do causes a reaction which 'changes' the other persons behaviour in response. Complicated it may sound but that's the crux of it all.
When we are in love with someone, we will go to the end of the rainbow and dig for that supposed pot of gold, eventhough the brutal truth is, there isn't any real pot of gold, because the rainbow doesn't really end! When we love someone, we would humour that idea and leave it at that OR have a really silly argument about facts versus fiction and just plod on. The differences in opinion will add on to that baggage of 'how different we are'.
When we are in love, he may say something silly, and we get all tickled and fired up with laughter. When you love someone and he says the same thing on a wretched day, we chide him for being insensitive and tell him to stop making fun of us.
When we are in love, any gesture is received as being loving and thoughtful. When it's someone we love, it's expected.
It's not usually the years that cause this to happen but more the heated squabbles, and the 2-camp situations that promotes this separation between the couple.
I may sound like relationships are just separations waiting to happen - but that's not it either. After all the hot air and passion has faded off and we have one foot in the grave - it may be safer to be with someone you love and not someone you're in love with, because it's no longer about excitement, but more about tolerance and companionship.
Not that people do not go to the grave being in love, but that is my honest opinion and I'm not afraid to ruin the fairy tale.

October 26, 2006

The new Pyramid Selling

It takes all kinds to make the world. Yet, the variations are sometimes, just too astonishing for me to comprehend. Take my present job. Instead of operating like an MNC consulting firm, we have become a pyramid-based agency. We are paying Ms C an overriding fee, in addition to her company's commission - and she doesn't even need to lift her pinky for that.
Pyramid selling which is illegal here markets toiletries, health supplements, household cleaning or beauty products. Question : If it's illegal, why is it am I having this problem?
I guess, when in the corporate world, your disguise must be pretty good. You will go under a heavy cloak of agreements or memorandums of understanding. We don't always find out when we're being fleeced until it's too late - but in this case, we've known for a long time, and the HEAD is not doing anything about it. If I take the cruel approach, I'd say, either the flesh or material gain is involved. We may be a compassionate society, but this is way above any corporate directive on the lowest scale!
So, I'll be busy thinking about how to diplomatically terminate this stupidity, because as much as we have to do charity, we are not a charitable organisation. Even Charities are answerable to their balance sheets.

October 25, 2006

After the Funeral

I have decided that Funeral Wakes are dramatic, and Funerals are Oscar winning plays. In a society where each family is struggling to survive and keep their heads above water, rarely do we have time to meet and chat up. Unless of course we all live in each others home vicinity.
Imagine that a friend of mine only sees me at Wakes! It's morbid but a true reflection of just how little time I spend on socialising. This is a friend, whom I visit at least weekly for lunch or tea - those days! These days, I'm just happy to plonk myself on my favourite couch and be a potato - too tired to bother anymore, because my entire day would have been about smiling and being politically correct.
After the Funeral, bone-picking, urn filling, sealing of 'tomb', I must say that it has given everyone closure. I know I'm not an emotionally charged person, but I dare say that not everyone is unhappy to be a free soul. Of course, if death comes too suddenly and too soon, it's a shock which anyone may not recover quickly from or at all. BUT if a person has lived a rich life, and has been plagued with disease and suffering for years, I'm sure, he's happy to be freed of his ailing body.
I will miss Dad, but mostly, I will remember him the way he would have wanted to be remembered.

October 20, 2006

Duty or Love

I did my duty today - but not without incident. Whenever we discuss about me, it's always WITH INCIDENT.
I had to go, it was expected of me - but I had work. As usual, I would squeeze time in to do my duty then scoot off to work. I was given compassionate leave, but it was impossible to leave my work, to hang around.
So, when I arrived at the wake, I did what everyone had to do - pray for the soul of the dead. Then one of them, decided to sit next to me, and asked about whether I'll be there the next few days. Well, to be honest - when a person is still breathing, that's when our presence is important. When he's dead, what exactly am I supposed to do? Bring him back to life?
And so she had a lecture of her life - long time coming too. I am not a hypocritical person - I feel sad not for the those left behind, but for him who died a lonely man. I stay away because I refuse to put myself in a position where I had to focus on insincere people who are merely there for the show.
I had buried a man, a lonely man, who didn't a family, let alone a proper roof over his head. He had cancer, I put him in a hospice, visited him every day, fed him, changed him and carried his ashes to be scattered. I watched a young woman die, leaving a demented mother not understanding why her daughters' body is cold.
I'm not immune to grief - I believe in life. That's my philosophy - love when they are still around, so that you know, you've a pocketful of memories to keep.

October 19, 2006

About Death

The passing of someone brings unpleasant situations most times. For the bereaved family, it's a loss of someone they love. For the unwilling caregiver, it's a relief. For the man who has been left to rot whilst within the family, it couldn't have come sooner.
I cannot understand why a man, whilst living with his grown up children, grandchildren and aged wife died more alone than a lone ranger in a nursing home. By the time the call was made to the M.D. for certification, the body was cold and stiff.
I have no sympathy for the family.
I feel relieved that his soul is now free.
I stayed away, simply because I believe that when we undertake the responsibility to look after the man, then we should do it as best we could.
Doing our best means, at least looking in on him, talking to him, feeding him and be aware of his medical condition. Forget that he was not a good father because we made him sell his home, to move in with us. We took some cash from the proceeds. We have more than just a duty.
This man, did not die alone, but died lonely.
I cannot bring myself to go to the wake because I cannot guarantee that I can put that aside and focus on just paying my respect.
Call it whatever, but the less I see, the better it is for me.
I am glad, that he left us in his sleep. I couldn't have wished for more, because he raised all of them on his small salary by being prudent. I don't think anyone of them could have done a better job than him.
Death is not always a bad thing, we have to go, sooner or later, but for me, he went in style.

Self Preservation

There are people who would stand up for their rights, yet again, there are some who simply prefer to be like the pavement, i.e. let everyone step all over them.
How do you help people who don't help themselves?
Never mind how tiring and time consuming it is, but, these people sometimes just 'ask for it'. For an educated society, there are groups of people who still take advantage of the simple-mindedness of others. Being educated doesn't mean having a stack of paper qualifications - it's more about being better people because we are well read.
After having said that, I need to know that karma works because I cannot understand how such evil can be let free. This is a girl who worked for her commission and was bullied and threatened into giving it up - all Three Thousand Dollars, just days before her new year celebrations, for reasons that are baseless and wouldn't stand in a court of law.
So it's never about being loud or putting our stamp on our turf - we have to, because the minute you don't, someone like this will come along and shovel dirt your way, and expect you to eat it up, not clean it up, but consume it.
I am for self-preservation - because of these few evil beings running around.

October 18, 2006

The E-factor

I know sometimes we react badly - not by conscious choice but in a fit of annoyance. If we have a second, we may think about HOW we should respond yet most times, we react because of our present emotional state.
For those who are not in the loop, better stay out of it than try to do the loop minus pertinent information, the why, where, when, how, what. Yesterday, I witnessed a colleague, who decided to be part of the cast of a current drama, being slaughtered. He didn't know the pertinent information, assumed the equation to be correct, started his nuclear test with the warhead directed squarely on the Super Power and bang! what do you know? Radiation was leaking and choking him to near death.
When dealing with people, consider the E-factor. We react because we are our own person and we certainly do not feel right when our very existence is being compromised, or so we think it to be.
An apology sorted this almost nuclear war - because there was no trade agreement between them on the E-factor. BUT put the same two people, with this E-factor trade pact and a thousand apologies may not be enough to make peace!

October 17, 2006

Moving On

When do we decide that we had enough of this and choose to move on to that? For starters, all of us, have, at one point or another, been stuck on our white picket fence comparing the shade of the grass. At moments like these, being decisive would go a long way for our reputation. It's bad enough that you're stuck and undecided, but when you just refuse to make a decision, then that is mean. AND when you do it too often, it becomes a habit, and you may end up being a safety net kind of person, instead of living life. BUT then, if you make a hasty decision, then the whole world may just decide that you're just too much.
Either way, it's never a win win situation, when you're up on the picket fence. Never mind the discomfort and pain, you're in a position where you're visible for all to see.
So, before you get stuck on a picket fence, make sure that you're in a position to fall safely. It doesn't matter if under the green is soggy soil or granite, because you would have fallen without breaking a bone - you are prepared to make a change.
We all take chances, that's why the lottery booth has long queues! You have one life, live it - because we get just one shot at it.
Call it self preservation - whatever, but nothing happens without a good reason. If you have to fall somewhere, just make sure you enjoy the ride and LIVE to tell the tale.

October 16, 2006

Hazey Haze

This morning, I could not decide whether the fluff on the greens were mist or the dreaded haze. It's amazing how our neighbours continue this campfire ritual annually and get away with it. Singapore has become a YELLOW ZONE! Everyone was bitching about smokers blah blah blah, yet what is being done about this haze which I am sure, is more unhealthy than the ciggies that smokers light up. Ciggies are certainly less destructive than firewood. And WHO said size didn't matter?!?
Each year, the excuse is the same - they blame the wind direction! HELO? If there wasn't a campfire to begin with, we didn't need to bother about which way the wind is blowing - after all, the pollution still goes into the very atmosphere that we share.
I think the farmers just wanted to get on with their clearing up, PERIOD. Forget everyone else, after all, if he doesn't get on with his clearing, he may not have crops later on for himself. So what if he pollutes the air, saving the earth is not going to ensure he has food on his dining table.
I also heard that to prosecute them is dicey, because of the way the law there has been laid out. Again, BRAVO ! Well done - and I thought we were better at getting away with things!

October 11, 2006


There have been moments when I wanted to just be silly - step outside of my shoes and be free from responsibility - yesterday I had such a moment.
For all the times when I am so sure, I had the shorter end of the stick, I must say that it always balances with these moments at another time. It usually does, life is fair.
It has been a long, but fruitful week for me - but the fruit didn't convert itself to permanent satisfaction, because it never does in sales. BUT in this flurry, I had the opportunity to actually share my morning with a good friend. It's somehow strange, because when we do meet, it's seldom in the morning - I would have had tons of coffee pumping through my veins by the time we do! I'm not a morning person - at least not until I've gone through a pot of good ole black.
For the impatient person that I am, I am thankful that my friends are patient. I was flipping between calls, working through defects, talking, updating and not once, did I stop to say thanks for hanging around. Yes, I had that moment yesterday, when I wanted to tell him that I appreciate his patience - that he didn't have to zip around with me - that he needed more sleep than I did and that I wish I could have said more.
I always speak my mind - always. But never with him when it concerns me - at least never in totality - and so I didn't, because it would have opened up a whole lot more than Pandora's Box could hold.

October 06, 2006

generous or silly

I had a conversation with my boss yesterday evening - and I am concluding that HE rides on the high of adrenalin with no regard to long term effects of being drugged!
Never mind that he's giving away $XX XXX in terms of overriding fees to a salaried staff but when he's drugged like this, he tends to generous to people outside the circle.
I find ways and means to cut corners so that the sheet looks good, YET, he finds ways and means to undo all that - knowingly or unknowingly - it doesn't matter - it's not an excuse or reason.
Perhaps some people prefer to be THE charitable one, yet, during my infant days in real estate, I was reminded time and again, that Realty doesn't work like social services. I have, never again, have the lines blurred. Perhaps it's easier for me to be less charitable, because I'm not a social creature - but then again, the preference to be less social, has got nothing to do with milking the cow till the last drop possible.
Anyways, we need to do what we must - and some just take a longer time before reality sets in.

October 04, 2006

Shorter or Longer

I have had FOUR long days - It's almost never ending. There are times when our memory is clouded - for whatever reason, we cannot seem to get a clear grip of the picture. Sometimes, when we want something to happen so much, we will externalise when things do not go that way. Instead of taking the situation and staring at it squarely, we begin to make excuses.
It's like getting to a destination. Most would choose the shortest and safest route. We would maximise our fuel or transportation costs to a minimum. Of course there will be times when we opt to take the longer route to soak up the view. For FOUR days now, I have had the opportunity to be part of this silly exchange between this group of people, who are on the same playing pitch, but each representing a different game, i.e. one baseball, one football, one rugby.
AND as spectators, we try to shed light so that only one ball type will be in play - yet it falls onto deaf ears, and blur eyes. Amazingly, even the brain cells have totally ceased to be practical in that, they still believe that they are on the same team.
Therefore, when one asks for clarification, one should not only listen and understand the rationale, but one should also take a step back, and think about the realistic situation. Put aside the emotions and think - the answers are usually right there all along. Stubborness doesn't earn us anything except wasting of time - not just ours, but everyone who was helping us. When the shorter route is available, take it - it's not a trap.

September 29, 2006

Every day is Important

It's soon THE day again - the day I was dumped into this world. Most people are festive, they observe festivals, they celebrate anniversaries, death/birth or weddings/divorces/breakups and birthdays. Not me. I have had such a messed up life that each day that passes without a glitch is festive for me. Not many believe that I seriously do not practice the art of celebration by way of cakes, flowers, balloons or lavish pressies.
I support living, not existing - therefore, each day becomes important - I get winded up just trying to maximise the day - not letting a minute go by, to waste. Waste for me is when we didn't do our best. My son, does not understand why he should not get me presents or flowers - I hope I am not ruining his future relationships since most, expect such days to be remembered by lavish shows of affection.
I do not, however, take the joy of presents from him - he receives gifts but never deliberately on a 'special' day - and each time he receives a gift, it's not to celebrate just his birth, but to remind him that each day, is just as important to me, because I have him to begin with. It will be tough on him to become a young adult and ignore this common practice of presents - but I stand firm that, if any relationship is dependant on a little box of surprises, then that is what it's only worth!

Presents

It's soon THE day again - the day I was dumped into this world. Most people are festive, they observe festivals, they celebrate anniversaries, death/birth or weddings/divorces/breakups and birthdays. Not me. I have had such a messed up life that each day that passes without a glitch is festive for me. Not many believe that I seriously do not practice the art of celebration by way of cakes, flowers, balloons or lavish pressies.
I support living, not existing - therefore, each day becomes important - I get winded up just trying to maximise the day - not letting a minute go by, to waste. Waste for me is when we didn't do our best. My son, does not understand why he should not get me presents or flowers - I hope I am not ruining his future relationships since most, expect such days to be remembered by lavish shows of affection.
I do not, however, take the joy of presents from him - he receives gifts but never deliberately on a 'special' day - and each time he receives a gift, it's not to celebrate just his birth, but to remind him that each day, is just as important to me, because I have him to begin with. It will be tough on him to become a young adult and ignore this common practice of presents - but I stand firm that, if any relationship is dependant on a little box of surprises, then that is what it's only worth!

September 28, 2006

Long Week

What constitutes a long week? For me, this week was such a week, and it's not even Friday yet. Sometimes I wonder, if I were born in another city, would my occupation be the same? In marketing, we never always have the luxury of selling something outright. BUT to come face to face with a buyer who is repetitive, have an endless list of objections, and forgetful is a whole different ball game.
Thankfully for me, I managed to get together a good team to tip-toe around black hole. And whilst this was brewing, another person totally forgot that there is another case floating - how that came to be is as alien to me as what a dwarf planet it.
I had a buyer who wanted perfection for every dollar and another who believed in all honesty that every dollar he left as a booking fee would generate 5 times the amount for his entire downpayment at the snap of his fingers! That is how my week went so far.
Therefore, the lesson about long weeks are - simply to ride it out - forget running away, because 'long' in itself would imply never ending, continuous, and time consuming without the frills added on. You cannot run away from LONG - because it has arms long enough to catch up!

September 26, 2006

Crappy Mr Crap

I'm sure many have encountered attention-seekers in the course of their work. Having met a fair bit, I must say that this particular chap (Mr Crap) takes the cake! I am beginning to believe that he actually adapts to the situation very quickly. Take the recent project I'm working on - I wrote about star players who did a better job of resting on their laurels rather than actually do a sale - Mr Crap sits and waits for opportunities and then in measured time, pounces on another person's achievement and announces to individuals that his sharing of the Crap Theory helped that person to seal the deal.
If Mr Crap is young and never walked the path of life, I would be forgiving. But Mr Crap is way past the 40 flagpole! He probably needs a double shot of prozac for starters and should check himself in for a mind make0ver to rid himself of this anal fixation! Some colon cleansing might do him good too, because there would be no more stools he could possibly spit out at his colleagues.
As a kid, I remember the "wash your mouth with bleach & sun it" line - Mr Crap would need to do more than that, although bleach & sun could get rid of the Parvo virus.
I don't know how to deal with this, but for the moment, he's a virus that's not going to have time to run his cycle.

September 25, 2006

Sacrifices and Packages


Good things never come in large packages. Perhaps, the whole idea is; learning lessons from appreciating the smallest gesture. Speaking from experience, I have never had a good thing in a large package. My life and what I am totally made up of, has been a culmination of small packages of good things.
Of course, there are many moments, where I wished for some other forms of excitement, just to make sure I still understood the meaning of 'enjoyment'. I am not depressed, neither am I overjoyed - I'm just zooming along a plateau where everything is measured.
It took me years to attain this balance - one that didn't make me bored, but enough to keep me in line. BUT there are private seconds, when I wish, I have the courage to tip the scales - note the present tense used - because this will continuously be my state of being, at least until whenever.
There is this fear, that if I traded one small package to tip the scales a little, I would need to find two small packages to balance it out again. It doesn't make sense to some, that I would do this balancing act, almost like a sacrifice, just so I didn't have to deal with the extra load afterwards - perhaps it is, but then, isn't life full of sacrifices, anyway?

September 22, 2006

Blessings

For most of my life, I have never felt abandoned - alone, perhaps, but never abandoned. I am a person in my own right and I have always been like this. I don't make excuses, neither do I tolerate them. I don't have a normal social life - and I don't miss the chit-chats. Yet, I know that I have been cared for and protected by the good GOD above. For me, a person of facts and science, it's a big deal to openly say this.
From a young age, friends never factored much in the decisions I made in my life. When I got my O-levels, I chose to do my A's at a different school - changed streams, I never was afraid to be by myself. That's why I have grown up being answerable to myself and only me.
I believe that as long as we don't have a wicked bone, or have ill-intentions, or worse still, be insincere - we will be blessed. It may have to do with my Buddhist beliefs, but what goes around, does come around. I have been blessed, in more ways than anyone can begin to imagine. For a person with a harsh exterior, it may be tough for some to fanthom, but the truth is never in the cover of the book - yet, to uncover the pages, is another story - a story that I wrote in invisible ink - very very few know it and I keep it that way - BUT today, as I looked at the flowers, smell the fresh air of morning, and watch the sea as the winds brush by it, I remember that I have been taken care of, all my life, by the good GOD above me.

September 21, 2006

Timing is of the Essence

I have been procrastinating about visiting Bangkok for years! I finally managed to carry that out just recently. I'm glad I did, when I did after hearing news of a peaceful coup there. My goal, was to visit the 'much talked about' shrine.
I was planning to go back, perhaps at year end, or early next year, and I hope that things will sort out, so that my plans need not be diverted.
This is a good example of 'seize the opportunity' because had I decided to wait till year end, when the rest of the population travels, then I would be in a predicament today.
This brings me on to the other one liner I favour - Do what you can do today, and don't wait for tomorrow. We should apply that principle to everything that we do. Why wait?
Perhaps I'm an up-and-go person, but I don't think that's the excuse at all - I believe that we should do what we want to do - why drag our feet if that's what we really want to do!
So, I'm glad I went - no regrets - and I would like to go back when things settle - and take a look at the rest of the beautiful temples.

September 18, 2006

Forward Plans


I wonder if there is anything like planning backwards, aside from working out a timeline that way. As the last quarter of the year draws closer, my colleagues and myself have been getting into discussions about our forward plans.
My belief is rather simplistic - go for what is within reach without falling short of the objective. I'm optimistic but I'm a realist at heart. Much as I would like to think I'm superwoman, I know I have better sense than to have tight fitting clothes in my closet!
As with everyone, I have come to a point in my life where I take my work seriously, yet have no desires in multiplying my portfolio. I get satisfaction from attaining the goals set and a good cup of coffee.
It's a good year for me, because I have met my personal objectives, which includes taking my son on his first flight outstation. When he was young, he just couldn't sit still - he was very active and restless - and that alone scared me and gave me second thoughts each time I planned a vacation. Then, vacations meant short trips to local hotels or just across the border.
So, forward planning does work - although we may take longer to achieve our goal (for whatever reason), it's important to have it within sight - lest it becomes another thing not done.

September 15, 2006

Accredited - what it means

There is a good reason why the world needs 'activists'. I am not referring to people who riot or cause physical injuries to others. They are people, like you and me, who are behind support groups for "Causes" - some examples are whaling, children of africa. I am certainly not referring to those who have a political agenda because for starters, it is more personal.
These groups are accredited, because what they have discovered, learnt, or known by chance and confirmed by investigation is Cause enough for them to come forward and request for funding.
The IMF and WB have descended upon our little island here - activists have been scrutinised and publicity for this scrutiny has been criticised. Question: Have we become a paranoid society? Again, I am not referring to people who riot - that has nothing to do with professionals who work very hard to be heard for something as simple as 'budget'. These are the checks and balances.
We conduct exercises for rioting, terrorists, chemical attacks - What does that mean? In the first place, I realise that our island did not make provisions for such people to even remotely operate - we are prepared to deal with exercises, like school - study for tests and exams, on stipulated dates only. I do not think the terrorists would leave us a schedule of attacks via email, so that we may don our masks and prepare the bomb shelter to hide in.
If not for accredited activists, whales will still die a horrid death - causes for the children of Africa may never be made known - our ozone may just be gone tomorrow.
That's what it means to be accredited by the IMF and WB - it's a good enough cause for them to keep yelling so that they are heard.

September 12, 2006

Jumping on the Band Wagon

Some people have this bad habit of jumping on the band wagon, especially if it's going somewhere good. I don't really bother about where anyone wants to head to as long as it doesn't interfere with my personal journey.
When things go well, every one, wants a piece of the glory. When things are not going well, people distance themselves. We need to upgrade our sense of ethics. In this day and age, we need to be less primitive in our behaviour because even animals behave better than that!
Why ruin another person's opportunities because of a personal ego trip? This person also boasts of a religion loudly, at his desk - Being religious, does not teach us to glorify - it teaches us humility. BUT how does one equate a glory-seeking person, who greets you politely, yet messes everything up for everyone else, and then denies it point-blank? I think he's reading his own version of the christian bible OR perhaps, he totally doesn't understand the published language because he missed a whole part of social studies and Moral education.
For a few weeks, the sales associates had to put up with blame for misquoting - and today, I found out that the culprit was not any one of them but someone from my office.
This is not a genuine mistake, because it happened before thus it is now DELIBERATE. Therefore, my response will be just as deliberate. I dislike the tit for tat, but it either ends here or this person will keep this up. To stop recurring behaviour, we will have to put in place punishment that will serve as a lifelong lesson especially when we all know that counselling doesn't work for this person.

September 05, 2006

Lasting Impressions



It was my first visit to BKK - the closest I've ever been was always on transit. I have never been curious about visiting the land of smiles, hospitality and affordable shopping. For some, 3 days was not enough for BKK, but I found it just right, perhaps because I'm quite a homebird. This trip to BKK is long overdue, because it has always been my desire to visit a shrine there.
The first thing that struck me once there, are cables. There were cables everywhere. It's not because I've never seen cables above ground that I got mesmerised by it all! It's like art on the streets - looped over, crossed, hanging low - I have never been so engrossed by anything like it.
And so, here are two pictures for keepsake.

August 29, 2006

Facing up to the task

Some people are just not cut out to be the bad person. They will continuously plod along, fully aware of the cracks or holes even - and jump over it, when required, without the thought to fill it up with cement.
At the end of the journey, when they look back, they will see, perforated pavements and wonder why the view isn't so great.
Then they hire an architect to try to fix the basic problem - pay tons of money in contribution to the architects' education (hence his certification), without batting an eyelid.
Most times, we cause our own problems. It's a cause and effect situation. Our personal life is like that, and it goes the same way for our work.
When faced with a tough challenge, we should take it head on, minus our emotions and deal with it, using our limited resources.
Bottom line : Face up to our responsibilities and take the challenge. Listen, observe and react accordingly.

August 28, 2006

The number 3

Some people do not like the number 4, because in some Chinese dialects, it sounds like 'die'. Dying is not viewed as a 'positive' term - although for christians, dying is supposed to be 'going back to our Maker', so it's not that bad. I'm Chinese, so it does bother me sometimes, this number 4. What I'm beginning to concern myself is the number 3.
In marriages/relationships, 3 is not a good indication of a healthy union, it raises alarm bells. In the famous phrase, it's said "TWO'S A COMPANY, THREE'S A CROWD". Again, 3 is viewed as the extra.
In real estate co-broking, 3 is also a bad word because it implies three agents doing a deal, therefore the fees are split 3 ways and not 2. Perhaps, I should be more wary of the number 3.
I always practise fee-sharing, but not when one calls me to ask if she could offer my unit to her friend who has a genuine buyer. That is the lowest of the lowest! And she had the cheek to sound like she was doing her friend and myself a favour. If she really wanted to be helpful, she could have given my contact to her friend instead. Ah, but I guess for these people, being helpful, sincere, and doing a good job for the buyer meant, it must amount up to dollars, if only to introduce the property.
So, 3 is bad news for me - whichever industry I am in, 3 is the number to watch out for - because it always brings me to giving one party a talking to, about priorities.

August 24, 2006

common decency

What's up with people who walk into another person's dwelling, thinking it's their home? I am referring to tenants who view apartments for rent ; apartments which are not vacant, meaning, either the owners are still living in it, OR the current tenants are. To make it worse, I informed them, on the way up to the apartment that the owner is still living there, but is away.
The whole troup went into the apartment, and within 10mins, I heard TWO bathroom doors slam shut. No one asked me if they could use the bathroom - isn't asking when you're not in your own home the polite thing to do? After all, this apartment is in our prime district and the rent is about 10K per month.
I'm back to the one liner : GOT MONEY, NO BREEDING.
This got me all flustered the rest of the day - I cannot help it, if an entire family is just obnoxious, uncultured and have no social graces - but when I have to wash down the toilet after they leave, it's another matter altogether.
Using the toilet is one thing, leaving the bowl with urine spray is another. I don't want to imagine what their home toilet must be looking like - perhaps they can live like that and perhaps they don't care if the dog kennel is more hygenic than their living quarters. BUT to expect that other people have their same standards is pushing it way too far.

August 22, 2006

Crossroads again


I have been in a nasty cycle lately - not sure of which road to take. Believe or not, I'm at THE crossroads again. What does it mean to always arrive at this junction?
It could mean that I'm not sure if I'm at the correct place and the correct time. But it could also mean I'm in dire need of a change. But I wouldn't put it past me to say, I prefer a more sedentary job either.
It is becoming increasingly difficult for me to stay put. The saying as I know it goes "A rolling stone gathers no moss". BUT to be in a perpetual state of motion is really tiring! I have tried pivoting, spinning on my own axis, but gather moss I do. Perhaps the saying is right - I just need to roll away....
Then I wonder - is being covered in moss really all that bad? In the sunshine, the colour is quite remarkable and it soothes our tired eyes. With moss all over, I could actually photosynthesise and make my own food - on top of it, minutely contribute some O2 to the suffocating world.
Until I sneak across this crossroad, clarity is just a figment of my imagination.

August 20, 2006

The End Result

There are times when we are on the fence, not sure of which side to fall. It takes a lot, to decide - to be a person that is not afraid to make a call. Decide wrongly, and the consequences could be drastic, not a comfortable result.
When do we put our foot down and make an unpopular decision? I guess, when all our nerve endings are tingling and we just have to take that plunge with the confidence that it's the right decision.
Whether the environment is within our social context or work, we have to be in sync with our surroundings. Once we are, then things move like clockwork with the least glitches. I work, live and play that way. I'm a creature of comfort, in every sense of the word.
Bottom line: The end result.
I am positive that the decision I made today, will give me the calculated outcome - and I am prepared to dirty my hands to get the job done. I'm in a common economic fix - excessive supply and limited demand. Therefore, to ensure a healthier economy, I will need to create an artificial equation that makes more sense until it really does.

August 18, 2006

Do We or Don't We?

We make decisions, which change the course of our life. BUT we never really are satisfied because there will always be the 'what ifs'. Point: We will never know what the other end-result will be, because we cannot go back. Life was not designed that way.
My rule of thumb is easy - live life with the least of regrets - that way, moving on becomes easier - acceptance is the start of maturity.
A colleague told me yesterday that listening to me giving the bottom line to another, petrified her! I thought I actually scared the living daylights out of her, but she went on to say that it was a good eye-opener and she would like learn how to put her foot down like that.
It was a sweet thing to say, because I have never, had a chit-chat conversation with her - When we're in the business we are in, Clarity is crucial. For example, if an email message says "AVAILABLE UNITS" it means that the units on the list are available for lease or sale. However, I have learnt a new meaning for that word - AVAILABLE also means, "a deposit has been accepted but the Agreement hasn't been signed".
What is my decision, check or not?
Usually I would, but I wouldn't for this person.
Because, if she ever learnt anything from growing up, is to never patronise, never be prude and never, ever think you know everything - the flaws are so glaring, that everytime she opens her mouth, something silly gets ejected.
So I would rather just be an audience to this entertainment. My choice - my decision - and you know what - at the end of this exercise, it will be the result that I have wanted to achieve - no regrets!

August 17, 2006

Barking up the wrong tree

When faced with an inevitable result, some would 'still hope for the best', others would 'keep re-tracing the steps, just in case' and some others would 'just wait for the inevitable' to happen.
For me, I'm a solutions person. Until there is a solution - the problem is not solved - whatever it takes.
I don't see the point of shaking an apple tree, when not a single fruit is on the branch. Worse still, if the tree is not an apple tree to begin with.
A lot of people go through life, without real observation. They love to chat, gossip, exchange fluids and gas - believing that nothing is more important than being in tune with popular culture.
My brand of popular culture is not to garner votes - it's to keep my conscience clear. If I know the end result, rest assured, I will not go on the same route - I would create an alternative route - one that will give a different result -
It's not a style I am about to spend hours selling - for me, that's being responsible.
So, next time there is no solution, find one before it's too late. For those who think, it's not important because the result doesn't affect them - well, today it may not, but it only means that it may, in one of their tomorrows.
After so many years of life, and many dissections, I can honestly say, Life is Unfair, yet, it is Fair.

August 15, 2006

Burning weekends

I'm back at the showflat weekends. Been a long time. I don't mind really, except that there is nothing much to do - sure, there is chit chat; papers; oxygen breaks - This would be the first time, I would have to skew my thinking towards 99-year leasehold property. Tough call for me - I've always been a freehold believer - and it has nothing to do with handing down the property to the next generation!
When we purchase cars, we are prepared for it to depreciate - but property has always been classified as an investment - and why do the investment if there is almost a guarantee of it depreciating?
Unless of course, we are buying it for a roof over our heads, which doesn't make sense because we could get something larger, at half the price, minus the pool & gym. I'm still having this tug of war - because my next task is to find people to believe in an investment I personally do not!
There is no flip side to this situation - either way, doesn't change the fact that it's a here-and-now kind of investment - almost like trading coffee beans except that the end result is a warehouse full of beans.
So until I find another plantation, I'm pretty much stuck roasting beans in an open fire every saturday and sunday.

August 11, 2006

41st National Day



I opted to go for a dinner cruise this year - do something different - Although I am not a fan of the sea, I took a chance. The first thing that caught my eye, moving away from the jetty, were the helicopters, 3, suspending our Flag - they were hovering around the Southern Anchorage - I didn't think it was an easy task, as the winds were flapping the Flags pretty wildly. Then, when I looked over the other side, I saw the sky, a hue of red and orange - the setting sun - it was beautiful - I haven't seen a sunset like that in a long long time. When I turned another side, there was this hint of light in the sky, amongst dark clouds. I couldn't make it out...it was like a firelight, just barely visible but becoming so, as minutes ticked by.
IT was then that our state flag made it's way straight towards the National Stadium, followed by flecks of black, moving fast from the east, heading for the same target...it was the jets. And as the fly-past was completing, the winds carried the voices of thousands from the stadium, screaming....I could hear them from way out at sea....and then when I looked up again, I realised the flicker of light was the full moon....
The fireworks display was short, but it was real - I was there, actually watching.
That said, next year, I'll opt to soak in the celebration from a hotel window - drifting in the sea is just not my cuppa.

August 07, 2006

Day of Reckoning


We have to figure life out all the time. The questions 'why' can never be answered without it leading to another 'why'.
I heard from my colleague that there was a dispute at the showflat yesterday - it would have been her last weekend at duty there.
In life, we are subjected to system of work or at least an agreement of conduct - this forms the core of our very existence because as with everything else in the world.
The sun rises, before it sets...OR the sun sets before it rises.....There will not be a day the sun suddenly decides to go on leave and jump the system!

Although we are people, subjected to emotional outbursts, weather changes and reactions of our peers (so that we can respond according to how they reacted), we must always remember that systems(rules) are put in place so that we lessen the misunderstandings that may occur. Systems also help us be better organised as friends, colleagues or spouses - enabling us to meet with the main objective.

For some, life is about take, take and take....
For these people, I say to them - the day of reckoning will arrive whilst you're on a taking spree and enjoy it whilst it lasts, because for whatever you have taken that doesn't belong to you, will have to be returned at a far greater cost.

August 04, 2006

Moving on

I am back in my previous department - I need to stay positive and not look upon this as going backwards, because if this is a loop i'm in, the end result is not very promising.
I only agreed because my colleague is definately leaving - it would not be easy to jump right into the project she's managing and fit in - yet leaving the project open-ended is not the corporate thing to do.
I know I have genuine people in this department, something the other department can never achieve - because each of them has a bottom line, which screams personal gain first! Although they inwardly have qualms about each other, outwardly, they share the same hypocracy that becomes their common ground.
Instead of a binding corporate culture, they have created their own culture of biting, clawing for their personal gain and comfort at the expense of everyone else.
Sincerity and honesty is so lacking, yet it's a wonder they are existing - but let's not pass judgement for what is a worthless cause.
We should move on, work for goals with a code of ethics, have consideration for our fellow colleagues and share a common culture. That is the difference between a rogue and a professional.

August 03, 2006

Do you believe in angels?


This is the month of the Hungry Ghost, and for the believers, it's a time for offerings to the wandering spirits. Whilst on this topic yesterday, I realised that the lady I was having a conversation with is 'born with a veil'.
I was never really curious about the other world, simply because I felt that my present life is complicated enough. The few that I have encountered have been mean although most have just left me alone. I have not been blessed with this vision, but I was born, with an access code.
I have never 'seen' angels - although I know of their peaceful presence. She told me, that they are here, when someone passes away - and they look like everything I thought them to be.
Perhaps that's how script writers get their inspiration from - these special people who have this gifted vision - most are serious about religion - for a good reason too.
Prayers should be offered, not just for our loved ones, but also for those who have gone with no one left here. It's important that we do this, so that the souls will be freed from purgatory. In the spiritual world, that is the law - prayers would buy freedom.
As for angels, next time you put an ornament on the tree, take a good look and remember, that the moulds man have made, are so because 'special' people have seen and have shared the news.

August 02, 2006

Labels with intent to insult

My son had an incident in school yesterday. One of his classmates called him a BANGLAH. Actually, the word itself means, coming from Bangladesh - except that, in the context that it was used, the term was meant to denote skin colour - this remark came from a local chinese boy. From my understanding, it has been happening all year.
Question: So what if my son's father is from Bangladesh.
Schools promote racial harmony day annually - and from the last racial harmony day press report, children seem to be getting it i.e. we are all people and respect for all is required for a peaceful world. Yet, this boy in my son's class, apparently missed 6 years of racial harmony in primary school, and the most recent one this year!
To make things worse, the teacher present DID NOTHING. She has let this go by for 7 months during her language class. I think it's not just the children that need to be educated, it's the teachers and parents as well. Children go by example and if not checked at the first point of occurance, then we have silently consented and are in agreement.
I'm waiting for the school to respond and I will take up this matter, because it's not injustice done to my son alone, but the entire campaign of equality for all.

August 01, 2006

Devil vs the Deep Blue Sea



Whenever we are faced with a choice to make, we do our utmost in gathering pros and cons for both sides of the fence. Having a choice means all's not lost - yet, most times it's a decision between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea. I'm working with the Devil now, having been swimming in the deep blue sea just 90 days ago. To fit into hell, one must be just as devilish lest be the square peg in a bottomless round hole. Yet, to dive back into the deep blue sea means, I would have to sign up for a water distress course - deep and blue, would suggest, either I find shore without a compass, or be a meal for the killer whales and great whites.
Given the circumstances, neither is appealing.
This particular black hole is just amazing. It sucks up rules of ethical behaviour, corporate ethics and everything it needs to ensure it's existance - and that may include me - considering, I'm pretty much anchored to my responsibilities.
I'll probably would have to find a rainbow that begins at the tip of the ocean and ends way up above the atmosphere into the darkness of space. The rainbow could be my leverage - perish in style!

July 31, 2006

Bloggers vs celebrity DJs

The topic today on radio was about bloggers. The DJs felt that bloggers were given celebrity status in the papers which apparently is not deserving because of the topics bloggers were blogging about - I heard the topic "sex".
Its quite contradictory coming from the DJs who air sexual jokes as early as before 7 in the morning. I travel a long way to work and several times during the journey, there will be sexual innuendos in their verbal exchange. Is it really the sexual content or is it having newbies with the celeb status that's disturbing?
I'm open to having discussions, sexual or otherwise - provided there is just cause for it.
If someone decided to have an open discussion about child prostitution, then by george, let's do something about it. BUT a constant injection of sexual jokes is very telling on just how ill the mind really is - because this is done without realising who the listening audiences are.
Bloggers have their reading audience, and I'm sure the DJs know they have theirs. The difference is, when one surfs the internet, you have a choice of the entire world wide web to begin reading from - but as for the radio, choice is limited, because each station focuses on a different genre of music. Also, during peak hours, traffic updates are critical.
I think the problem lies in the word 'celebrity'. I guess the DJs just couldn't accept that some blogger got themselves that status overnight.

July 28, 2006

For my Colleague

I just received news that my colleague is leaving. That leaves the group with more people who are not team players. It's always the wrong people who leave. I thought I'd be the one to tender my resignation first.
I guess we have to be selfish for ourselves, because in that team, at least 2 of them are there like furniture - unhelpful, butt-warmers and individualistic with no sense of team, goals, objectives.
We all have our up and down days, but after 13 months, they are apparently not just 'down' but 'out' as well. They are the ones who would pledge their loyalty by staying with the company and simultaneously bleed the department of it's pennies.
In situations like these, the good ones always leave and this time, it's the friend with whom I lunch with, I complain to, the one who helps me with adding links to this blog, the one who supplies me pictures of her rabbits as my wallpaper, the one who helps me pick nice shoes and clothes - basically my friend.
I'm really mad.
I'm happy for her, I am....but it doesn't make it right.
We have goals in life to achieve and she's just making the decision to do it sooner rather than later. I wish her the very best, and at least we have this blog to keep in touch........if you're reading this, thanks for the company, confidence and support throughout the year.

July 26, 2006

Cyclists

Recently there was this debate going on radio about cyclists. I think all drivers will share my sentiments that cyclists are a hazard on the road. This morning, one decided to maintain cycling in the middle of a 2-lane road, without even trying to move to the side of the road, during the morning rush to the city. Someone suggested making these people pay for the use of the road plus taking the highway code. They have no mirrors on their bikes so they are not aware of what's going on behind them. They are so bent over that they don't even look back.
I'm all for them wanting to keep fit, keep carbon monoxide pollution down etc., but if a vehicle runs them down, it'll be the driver of the car that will be blamed. Our roads are congested enough, without us having to deal with such cyclists or bikers. Bikers are the same, zipping and zapping between cars who are already bumper to bumper.
When it comes to road safety, I think the Malaysian road authority got it right. They have extra lanes for them, making it safer for all road users. Of course, they have their buffalo crossing problems and trailers, but the idea is comforting.
We should be looking into solving this because isn't it all about safety for everyone? Isn't this as important as having smoking tables?

July 25, 2006

Table for SmOkeRs

Each morning, I have breakfast before coming into the office. With the allocation of very limited tables for smokers, I'm glad my morning begins early. After going through one cup of very good coffee, the place started filling up and naturally, table space became limited. One bespectacled chinese man walked up to the table next to mine, pointed to the SMOKING SIGN, and asked the man seated there, why he was smoking. He was lucky, the man simply replied, this is a table for smokers.

This man is a non-smoker, therefore, I would imagine that his brain cells are functioning perfectly - so why couldn't he read signs?

If he's so concerned about quality of air, perhaps he should walk around in an oxygen tent. Our air quality is already bad with pollution from cars, air-conditioning units and incineration, that's not including the industrial contribution to the environment!
People die and it's not always because of tar and nicotine. He's lucky he didn't come to the table I was at, because I would have said things to make him want to shove his head into his ass - do a new style kamasutra so that he wouldn't be so edgy.
We are all temporarily here - whichever way we die, would depend very much on how compassionate we have lived our lives. It's so cliche, if he gets cancer, he'll blame the smokers, without thinking for a moment that he could have been born with a dysfunctional gene that manufactures a dysfunctional cell.
Today, everyone blames the ciggie for illness - tomorrow, they should ban drinking as well. Perhaps we should just make everyone walk to work, use bicycles and stop the sale of air-conditioning units. We should also stop cutting down trees to build houses/shopping complexes, because they are all bad for the environment. But it will never happen because, these people only react if it means a chance of extending their own life - if the danger is shared amongst the community, it makes it less urgent - the fumes from the incinerator probably chokes the environment more than a few smokers puffing at one go - but the incinerator has not been shut down.
Let's see how these people will handle death, perhaps, they may just try a wager with the devil when their time is up.

July 24, 2006

Awards for ?????


Lately, I have been made aware of numerous people, having received some public commendation for service to the nation, who committed punishable offences. This is not good publicity and it makes me wonder how these people received commendation in the first place. Some people are just better being regular people - people who still contribute greatly without the glory. Some people just cannot handle 'power'. It's not the system that is wrong in giving people who have served, recognition. Often, it's the people on the ground, who never had a chance at fame, who would just go overboard when the pressure hits them personally.
Some people are just 'stool carriers' and their accommodating nature and ever willingness to please the group gains them support. However, that certainly doesn't justify that person receiving a public award, that is supposedly prestigious. When caught, these people will give statements about their failed businesses, gambling or just having a huge heart. It does not make it right.
I know of some who failed in business, declared themselves bankrupt, yet picked themselves up and started again from scratch. These are the people that need public commendation, since when they were made bankrupt, they made the headlines in the NOTICES section of the newspaper. Yet, when they succeed, no one gives them a medal.
I never bothered about who received what kind of honour in the papers, because it's always the regular people who will always matter to any society. There will always be systems where recognition is given not on a deserving level, but more on the level of blind following. Perhaps its time we just saved the money for such ceremonies and donate it to a more deserving charity.