Late Nights

This is the season of late nights, drinks, conversations and surprises.
I have been on minimal sleep since christmas eve - with guests and unexpected people showing up at the door an hour before bedtime. When you are younger, it's easy to stay up and function on almost zero sleep. Obviously, I do not fall within that category, because I feel like I'm swimming in this huge pool of people!
I suppose people could survive without much food, but aside from the intake of fluids, sleep is very much a pre-requisite to being functional. Late nights means when I wake up the next morning, my body tells me it's still night and refuses to get the gears in motion. Late nights mean that when I walk, I feel like I'm floating in a mass of people. Late nights mean my responses to conversations become less interesting. Late nights mean I'm unlikely to react on time.
Finally - late nights mean it's christmas season.
Which in turn means the fresh new year is just around the corner.
Which in turn means new challenges, new outlook and new problems.
Thankfully, christmas season lasts all but 14 days, at the maximum - otherwise I'll be sure to be away the next time this season shows up on the calendar.
It's not selfish, not wanting to socialise during this festive period - it's ageing that's doing the talking.

tis the season to be tired

If there was an occasion to meet, it must be christmas, simply because it's a time everyone, doesn't matter how old you are or which religion your beliefs lie - gather to exchange gifts/tokens or just to hang out. Commercialism has helped to promote this gathering in a huge way. For an almost anti-social creature - this season brings out the best and the worst in me. I detest crowds, hate being rushed, but at the end of it all, will still allow everyone to experience the 'social' side of me, which everyone does have in our persona file.
BUT 2 straight days of socialising has taken it's toll on me - I need respite care.

As always, my wish would be to seriously be away during christmas season next time around - it's not really difficult - just plan a trip out on the 23rd and stay away till the 26th! I have never gone away over christmas, ever - it was always because of last minute work that needs to get done - the timing is never right - and there's too much to do, before the year ends.

Perhaps, I should have that scheduled for 2008 - there are lots of people who travel over the holidays - because the roads are half loaded with vehicles - no traffic congestion in the mornings coming into the business district - making the journey into the city pleasant.

Let's see if at the same time, next year, I'll have a better story to share. My brains are too fried to even make cow sense.....

Ragging - it was worth it

I was ragged that day by my colleague about dressing & it's not about dress codes.

Being in frontline work, it's always important to keep to corporate standards - on paper and otherwise. Most of us would dress according to the schedule for the day. If we had a meeting penned in, we would make sure the attire justifies the agenda.

Trouble is, some find 3-piece suits unsurprising.
Perhaps they prefer a more let-your-hair-down image for me - which they do see on fridays, a standard dress-down day for most organisations. Perhaps, on a personal note, we tend to respond according to how we dress. I don't know how much that is true - but since a comment has been made, then it's appropriate to think about it.

I preach the 'don't bother about what people say' rule - but this one needed to be posted.

Our new colleagues had a hilarious time, listening to the animated version of how I was 3 years ago, present-day and what they would like to see. I never imagined that my dressing fascinates people and not always in the right sense !
The person sharing this journey must have been a story teller because the laughter she drew from all around the table was like magic - at that moment, all everyone saw was synergy, inspite of the constant disagreements we have had throughout the year.

I was ragged, yes, but it was worth it, since that drew many wide smiles, teary laughter and brought everyone a bit closer together.

Theme Parties

Theme parties - I do wonder, who was the first person to actually do this. Perhaps it's the boring nature of having a gathering where people gather and mill around with drinks in hand, exchanging the latest gossip. Which is actually not a 'bad thing', since gatherings are for people to gather around whatever.
At the end of October, some adults would gather around for a Halloween party - dressed in gory outfits, but still milling around and exchanging statements. Some functions would request for a black-tie affair - but guests still mill around sharing conversations. If the whole idea is just to mill around and have conversations, then what's with the dress code?
It's not just here, where people need to be told, specifically, what they should use as their party gear - because locals being locals, dare turn up in church, for example, in their flip-flops and beach wear. The whole partying world does have these parties by theme.
I only know how to dress for work, housework and work-outs (not necessarily gym attire). Whatever that falls in between is a grey area and one which my closet doesn't contain.
This year, our corporate function has a Retro theme.
I had to take half a day off to think about it, since we are working first, before partying in the evening. Almost every piece of clothing, not under 'office wear' was under scrutiny - after 4 hours, I needed my migraine sweets.
I would have attended the function, had fun, with or without a theme.
I guess, I wouldn't know why we are having a theme until this evening. Perhaps it will inject some fun, perhaps....let's see

Before Sunset

Watched an 'old' movie on dvd yesterday - Before Sunset - lots of dialogue but I didn't mind it.

It sort of brings to mind, a reality check.

Some relationships are just accidents.

When we look at the scars of our life - some we recall with an almost real pain, some we remember vaguely. Relationships are like that.
Some will bring a flush of warmth, others just pure bitterness, yet there will be those which brings with it, mixed emotions.

I'm sure there are many who are in safe relationships - and others who have relationships that are trying, yet still in existence because of the responsibility that time has attached to the relationship. AND for the few, there will always be another invisible relationship that their soul lives for - the "what if" , the "soul-mate", or just the "last person who would matter" -type of relationship that comes to mind.

We could have met this person for brief moments, yet the contact would affect us the rest of our lives afterwards.

If we search our soul honestly - I'm sure many of us have memories of someone who affected us so much that the very thought of them brings tears to our eyes - or at least tugs on the strings of our hearts.

For the lucky, they may find this person in their lives each day.
FOR the honest majority - this person lives deep in our hearts, locked in a box - and perhaps, we'll take them out when we dare - so that we could feel, for a moment, a hopeless-state of being - before the sun sets on another day of wishing.

'optional gifts'

With each new day in December, the dreaded week draws too near - the week of gift shopping.
Generally, women have been labelled 'shoppers' - because we could do that all day and not complain about our poor aching feet. Although I'm a woman, that gene was omitted when GOD made me. I have zero patience and is the most unlikely person to zip in-and-out of malls just to pick up a gift.
I shall not subject myself to 'feeling' like sardines or be a participant in some 'blue-light' special. That doesn't mean I shop without much thought. I am the shopper who plans, plans, plans.
Before that dreaded week - like the past few weeks, I would have spent time, thinking about gifts. Once decided - just go in the store, pick it up, get it wrapped and put it under the tree.

That doesn't mean one should pay more for things. Trade that few dollars for crowd-less shopping.

'Optional' gifts, on the other hand requires more time because those are statement gifts - gifts for people who do not expect one, but those you want to remember this season for whatever they represent in your life.

The 'expected' gifts are for mothers/fathers/sisters/brothers/gift exchange/kids/wags/habs.

'Expected' gifts - should have already been decided on by now ; if not, then you're way behind schedule - and would most likely be squashed like sardines in a tin, as christmas eve draws near.

The 'optional' gift is the one, which takes up your sleeping and waking moments - and it'll probably consume most of your sensible time - because this gift will be wrapped with everything christmas is really about.

But the noted thing about the 'optional' gift is : it's probably the most important box of all.

Think about it : Look at all the wrapped boxes.
There will be one, that's screaming "I"M OPTIONAL"
During christmas, it's not a bad thing to be THE OPTIONAL one at all.

What's in a gift?

The most 'dreaded' week is creeping up - the week before Christmas; the week we decide who gets on the gift-list.
Actually, it's not a big deal between mutual friends - bad relatives - or co-workers. After all, we could all sashay into The Body Shop and get our migraine sorted out pronto. The on-the-fence situation would crop up when you cannot decide whether a gift would complicated the already complicated situation.
We buy gifts for people we don't care much about - perhaps to make peace.
We buy gifts for people we work with, just to spread some cheer.
We buy gifts for people we don't know, because there is a charity gift box and it's christmas.
What do we do when there is a person, we care about so much about, but do not wish to overwhelm?

What's the big deal anyway since it's never about the gift, but the thought that matters most. BUT what if our thoughts needed to be guarded?

Let's go back to basics - what's in a gift?
Actually, Plently.
For starters, OUR TIME - we do have to walk a bit, looking for the gift.
Then we need to decide on the pretty paper and colour of ribbon.
Then we have to figure out how to deliver the gift, since we don't have a sleigh and they may not have a fireplace for us to slide into.

So, we did some personal investment of thoughts of the person when purchasing the gift.
The frills on the package is the care that we took, to make sure it's right.
When we hand over that gift, we would have exchanged handshakes, hugs & kisses - we delivered warmth.

If all that already comes tagged with a wrapped box, then there is no cause for worry, since those are probably the things we were afraid of exposing - we are actually giving away a little piece of our hearts, isn't it?
Doesn't matter if the person is overwhelmed.
It's Christmas, and maybe he'll forget about it by the 26th.

The sun's Rays

Trouble with being on vacation is, when you wake up, your eyes adjust to a very different view. No structured landscaping, no uniform buildings, basically, a total vision-shocker.

I take pictures of views, because I find them rather appealing - it's seldom my eyes would catch the sun's rays streaming down to my visual path...let alone snap a picture of it as a keepsake. The buildings may be nothing to brag about, but the sun's rays are beautiful, no matter where in the world we may be. That is the sense of wonderment that I hoped to capture.

For a person, mostly complicated in all departments, the simplest thing in life attracts me. It's never about whether it's Aspen or living in a 5-star suite that would keep me drawn. It's not about the finer things in life that is visible.

This view of the rays of the sun is hope for happiness for me. Happiness because the rays of the sun represents warmth which generates love.

If anything, we need to remember that without warmth and love, there can be no real meaning in life.

Perhaps some may acknowledge the material life, but they must know that's only temporary - we cannot ever buy a love to feel that love. Love needs to be reached out to, like the rays of the sun. AND it doesn't matter if we cannot touch it - because it's not meant to be touched - you don't have to, because it's like an envelope - it wraps itself around you and keeps you warm. Doesn't cost anything - because it's not meant to be sold or bought.

The suns rays, without which there will be no vegetation - nothing. We would probably cease to exist. That is love, GOD's love.

HCMC-Traffic

This is what greeted us at Ho Chi Minh and what I brought home with me. Even when walking on the pavement, we had to fight for walking space coz the bikes came and took over half the pavement!

When my gf told me about the traffic and bikes, I really didn't imagine this - so here is a picture, because it tells a thousand words!

It's not the exhaust fumes that will get to you, but it's in the dodging of bikes. They are everywhere!

I never remembered ever growing up with such traffic - sure, even when cars were not a common thing, I never had to be this careful on the roads.

The plus point is, they don't travel fast - so there is time for both to react.

Women & Hearts

I have come across some articles about how a stressful relationship affects a woman's heart - pretty often actually. I should do some reading on it, since it's my heart that's being 'discussed'.

Apparently, if a woman is in a stressful relationship, her heart will medically be compromised.

Well, if that's the case, then it's baseless to say a woman is emotional, when she acts up - she then would have every right to be pissed off - because this stressful situation may cause her heart to be impaired.

Of course, there are women, who are made up of tougher substance - and no amount of disgust or hurt could generate drastic, negative reaction. BUT the majority of women are just normal people, made up of regular cells. I'm sure GOD did not decide to scale down on ingredients deliberately or worse still, run out of the 'good' stuff and just used what was available.

I wonder why men are not affected like this.
Perhaps it's the extra ingredient GOD included, the male ego.
Perhaps this ingredient acts like some insulation/protective cover from grave hurt.

This is a very interesting point.
Women seem to always have the shorter end of the stick - and I'm sure we didn't get there because we chose it to be that way.

My heart has been broken, many times over.
Usually magic glue would fix it - how many years it took off my life, I wouldn't know.
The strange thing is, I actually feel how broken and scarred it is.

Having read such references too often these few weeks, made me wonder if my heart could ever mend. Before the cut heals, another scratch bleeds.

Either I get myself another heart, or I should go get a shot of the male ego.
The male ego may just keep my heart safe enough from any other 'abuse'.
Then perhaps I'll be able to find the correct love and end the book right.

Image

When is a comment, sexist?
Why do women always become a target of such insensitive remarks?

My boss, who is male, but not oozing with sexuality made a comment before the weekend, about our agents, not being 'up to the mark' in the image department. Because of that, he has decided that for the next upmarket job, we need to hire part-time models, in place of the agents, for the presentation bit.

That was really rude - because he apparently hasn't taken a good look at himself in the mirror lately - he's overweight and doesn't even have a visible waistline.

The remark was callous and definately not fair to the agents, who do perform. They may not be the next miss singapore, but they are decent enough in the image department.

Corporate image is about looking well-groomed.
Corporate image is also about having usable grey matter between the ears.

The last I looked, we are in a serious business - how did we end up having to hire sex?

Is this the correct corporate image?
We are so corporate that we will 'sell' our employees to get a contract?
Is this what male bosses are really made of?
That anything in a mini-skirt will do?

Apparently, for this male it's all that matters.
Females are not females unless they are oozing with wanton.

No wonder, some women get into this feminist thing.
They probably went head-on with too many men who cannot think beyond the bed.

That is not image, that is what's lacking in their life, which they are trying to cultivate in their workplace.