I don't know which is the greater evil - having passed the mid-year marker or not? Come August, we will be 4 months from end of the year, meaning, schools' out and I don't have to 'rise' before the sun does - it also means, there is fresh hope in the new year. Before June, time takes forever to move. It's too new in the current year for planning of any sort.
Perhaps, it's just me, feeling melodramatic, because I'm miserable.
I had one very important item on my TO-DO list this year, and sadly, I have done nothing about it, except defer, defer and defer. Yes, I'm referring to studying. I'm so concerned that I won't have time to focus on reading, when I'm not clear on my work direction. This brings to mind many times when children are told, when in school, study, because when you start work, it's tough to juggle.
Although juggling comes to me naturally, having had to do that for 150% of my life, I have cold feet, just thinking about having to RE a paper, because I didn't read enough. I was so desperate, I thought of just doing another major entirely! Psych is not something you can 'smoke' your way through. I was telling myself that even if I finished this programme, I wasn't even sure if I would practice - so why bother?
Times like this are not confusing, but just depressing.
We must be patient, and take a look at the situation squarely for a direction.
BUT I'm out of patience - because with each New Year, is another year extra I have taken a sabbathical. When I started out 5 years ago, this industry was my playground. Today, the tables have turned and it's freakking me out.
I guess that's why we should take official sabbathicals - that way we are given a fixed duration to be away, and we are compelled to come back, so to speak. I wonder if I missed my boat - perhaps that's why the jetty keeps shifting farther and farther away.
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