The term irrevocable differences is one used in divorce courts. No one would ever give it much thought - since, if it was a legal term to get us out of our hell-hole, why bother what it truly means, right?
About 21 years after my divorce - I am beginning to understand this term totally.
People don't change - they just develop coping skills.
When the crystal vase doesn't get hurled onto a wall during a frustrating quarrel, that's not change, it's either we have found a better way to de-fuse, OR we have given up and just couldn't care less. I don't know which is the lesser evil.
If I were the party who pissed me off, I would rather hear that shatter, then be put in the freezer box. Men talk about their women giving them the silent treatment - I wonder if they have a clue even, about how pissed off they must have made the woman.
Remember the saying, still waters run deep - it's true.
When the care becomes, don't care - then it's easy to just ignore and keep silent. After all, why bother continue in a conversation with a dork?
When the silence continues on for weeks, and months, then you know what, the relationship is at breaking point, because if a person could exist without the other, then there is no relationship to salvage.
Irrevocable differences means, we have gone past the silences - we do not wish for history to be repeated present day because history belongs in the past. When two people are too different in how they are brought up, when their characters are just too diverse for any coping mechanism to be successful, then that's a relationship that is laden with anger and disappointment.
This relationship doesn't bring on tears anymore - it's gone past that too.
To get to this point in a relationship, we would have gone through years of explanations, anguish, tears, hurt and apologies. BUT all that is just part of this whole cycle of the inevitable - it's finished.
No comments:
Post a Comment