Starting on the last lap

It's always difficult to get into gear, when the journey seems to be interrupted by traffic lights. It happens on the road, when we are driving and it happens when we set out to get something done and find it almost impossible.

For working adults, hitting the books may be a chore - some don't really like the idea of upgrading or getting an additional qualification. That is half the battle lost - because unless you believe in what you are doing, studying and doing well, isn't plain sailing - the ocean is always rough and the winds, unkind. But for working adults like me, who enjoy the academic toilings, interruptions are annoying and it kills my patience for anything else. I know about distractions, I am very familiar about being disciplined, but work is unforgiving and too full of surprises - I do not live in an environment, conducive for my readings - because I need to read in silence - not deadly silence, but the silence of not having too much of movement around me. I am able to read in a room full of people, provided they don't move about within my line of vision and make too much of distracting noises.

In moments like these, I ask myself, why put me in this position. Why not just focus on working and building up the business. Why pay so much of money and expose myself to unnecessary stress and pressures.

It's passion and an ambition.
Something I wanted, too many years ago, but postponed, because my life took a different turn. Now that I have come to an almost full circle, I felt it was a good time to continue my other journey - the one that never had priority. This is the 'last' lap, so to speak, and it's probably going to be the one, that takes the most commitment out of me. It's all or nothing. I now have 5 papers to write, one thesis to finish and 9 months to make this 'baby' go into labour.

So, now I am just about to cross the line, that signals 'the last lap'. I hesitate - because i'm not sure if i'm ready to give it my all....
I thought I was in the city, still driving and weaving in and out of vehicles and traffic lights...actually, i'm in the middle of the highway - and at the moment, i'm not engaged in the correct gear - i'm not even in cruising speed - the engine is dragging and either i shut out the world and snap out of it, or i'll have to call a tow truck to get me another engine!