anal or oral

Which is worse - to be anal or oral?

Actually, nothing is better than to just be a well-balanced individual - easier said than done, since as I look around me, much work has to be done in terms for the next evolution of society, which comprises of people (of course).

We do not live in perfect world and the sooner we come to terms with that, the better we will fair. If we are optimistic and think there is a 'better' world out there for us, we WILL be sadly disappointed, because there is no alternative world, just this one imperfect world. If we are pessimistic and think we are doomed in this lousy world, then we will just plod on our life being miserable.

Strangely, there are more anally fixated people around than those orally fixated, simply because it doesn't take a lot to get up on the higher rungs of a corporate organisation if we are ass-warmers - and anally retentive people have the knack of doing that, simply because they control the corporate politics from the lower rung. They are probably more 'dangerous' than one can begin to imagine. They are suck control freaks that they are able to manipulate situations so that they come into control - they need that to maintain a cognitive balance.

Orally fixated people are different - in fact, hard to pick out. They are really good at keeping things within their boundaries and managing it there. Although they may become very dependent when stressed, it's not across the board. It would depend upon how much coping skills they have developed to manage that and some may just need a little more attention than normal, which may not be obvious.

I'm somewhere in between, but more orally fixated, since i'm extremely independent, fearing dependency more than anything else. I don't get in anybody's way, unless something bothers me greatly - to which I will need my security blanket - not to cry, but to hide for a bit. But it doesn't mean I will allow anyone to trample all over me either.

So, I really don't know which is worse - I just know that dependence scares the life out of me and I get nightmares about it. Perhaps i'm not the classic case of the oral retentive person, but the signs are there. Because we (psych majors) are not really into Freud these days, it's tough to actually get into this whole thing.

I'm a behaviourist but also a scientist, who watches, takes notes and finds an explanation. I believe that all behaviour is both learnt and innate, depending on which is dominant. Which is why I never believe in processes to change a person, because people don't change - the template is there forever - we just like to think we contorted something else and bent that to another shape. It's just what we like to think - it never happens.

The wicked thing I can say is, send them my way and it won't take me more than minutes to have that original template in place.