The first thing I did was to organise all the articles, return books back to their place on the bookshelf and now my table doesn't even look like it's was the eye of the twister! Just one placement and i'm done.
Looking back, I wonder if a more aggressive and stubborn priority on my studies would have made me feel differently about where my academic standing could go. My insistence on doing this additional year was because I wanted to ensure that my basic degree is secured, because of the changes made for graduate school. I suppose better have it secured than leave it open and then find out that there is no way to fix it, simply because too many years would have gone by.
I can do two things now.
Finish my placement and then change my specialisation.
Or Finish my placement and pay to stay within reach of my specialisation. The one thing that will then separate me from doing what i want to do are fees.
We have barely 3 weeks to the new year and perhaps it's apt to think hard and make a decision. What I did for this programme was risky in that I didn't put in enough time and although my grades were in the upper Bs, it could have just been a waste of financial resources if I got thrown out. Looking back, a classmate contemplated withdrawing when a paper was ungraded.
I danced with this risk every time I attended to work first.
Anyways, it's done now and I can only look ahead and study my options.
There is no disappointment yet, but there is a tinge of hope in that, perhaps, it IS for the better.
How much better, is left to be seen.
Bottom line: we make the best of the situation - importantly, we understand how things got to where it got and take it from there.
It's not about being unrealistic, it's accepting what can be done with what we have and understanding why that is so.
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