V-Day ?

FF14 lamp decoration

One week before Valentines Day and FF14 (final fantasy 14) is decorated with pretty lamps emitting hearts as illumination.  Its a wonderful thought and in-game it looks great and makes one feel the lovey-dovey-ness of it all!

I have never bothered about festivities and especially V-Day - because having been in a few long term relationships, its just too testy for me.

I find it pointless to be given over-priced flowers on a designated day, when money could be well spent elsewhere.  Also, I rather have 365 days of love and consideration without the bells and whistles than ONE DAY in a calendar year of commercial 'love'.

About 6 days ago, my neighbour had an 'internal' family matter - from the loud voices exchanging words, I made out that the wife and husband was apparently not in agreement about something and what made it suspicious was - a gurney outside their door with 2 ambulance aids.  

I always knew they had their issues, like a lot of families; but that seemed more severe than I had anticipated.  I found the wife to be insecure and a little haphazard at best.  As neighbours I try not to poke my nose into their affairs and chose to remain 'clueless' and polite.  

The sad thing is, the inability of the mother to feel secure transfers onto their daughter - who by the way, may be returning great grades at age 12 but will somehow be less adaptive to others as she grows.  She is already showing signs of this. My training does not allow me to turn off my antennae even when I'm being civil.

Anyways, my point is : people stay in relationships for all the wrong reasons.  People have babies for all the wrong reasons.  

A relationship is good, ONLY IF it brings out the best in you.

A baby did not ask to be born, so as parents, we HAVE to be there to nurture them.  How they turn out after that, is out of the parents' hand, but at least the tools have been 'imparted'.

Children look toward their immediate care-giver as role models.

If the parents have done their duty than its more than good enough.

NO one can forecast the trials and tribulations that may encroach upon that child, once he is an adult.

So, I chose to forget about petty celebrations, because in my search for my better half, I found disappointments.  People who either see me as a 'meal ticket' OR those who take advantage of my 'good nature'.  

As with all Valentines Day gone by, my day will start and end, like every other calendar day - full of laughter and thankfulness, for the blessings that GOD has bestowed upon me.  People have failed me but 

GOD gave me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change (people don't value kindness, they abuse it)

COURAGE to change the things I can - I did bail out on relationships that were unhealthy for me

WISDOM to know the difference - because in spite of all that, I am eternally grateful to GOD for never taking away laughter from my life.

Until we find happiness within ourselves, we will forever blame another for not allowing us to enter that state.  As the saying goes, charity begins at home - we cannot be happy, until we are happy with ourselves; we cannot feel secure with another person, until we are secure as individuals; 

So if some are alone on V-Day, not by personal choice - trust me, its not a big deal - All those people I walked away from, are the same ones who have bought me expensive lilies and roses year in year out.  

Where are they all now? 

In the numerous trash bins with the wilted flowers !

Because I refuse to hang on to relationships just because I need flowers on V-Day