solitude

Alone time is something some people prefer more of, some less of, depending on what makes up their general 'life'. I had 48 hours of alone time in Bangkok, and it wasn't enough. That is the horrifying truth. I was reluctant to move
My goose is cooked.
I prefer my solitude.
I think I have crossed too many miles of disappointments, anger, annoyance and irritation that I have burnt the bridges to those fields. We tend to do that, it's called survival. And with survival, comes instinct - we stay clear and far away so that the bad cannot recur.
I will always remember this trip, because it will be these 2 days there that gave me some idea on where I'm supposed to head. Yes, it's supposed to, since the letter of offer for my Hons year is still sitting pretty on my desk.
I did some soul-searching and realised that for all the millions of excuses I have come up with for not starting the term, I have just ONE damn good one to do so. It's in my love for Psych and my ability to help another person understand it. Yes, it's probably going to shield me more from my state of unhappiness, but what we don't see, we can pretend not to know. At least when I am focused on something else, I will not waste my time away, thinking, how the hell I managed to screw up my life again and again.
Solitude does wonders.
Because we have time to be honest with ourselves, without interruptions.
It's painful and I've shed a few tears there.
BUT I'm back now, the tears have dried and I'm moving on.