another year

Another year older in age, yet I don't know if I've moved far enough from where I was a year ago. Some things have changed - I'm on my own and studying - which should count for a lot when I need sympathy for myself - it's, after all, a total change of my life dynamics.

To say that I'm in a better position would need some qualification - which viewpoint?
I wouldn't use the term 'better position', but rather, 'different direction' , since I have finally chosen a path at the last crossroads. Often, I would take a few steps here and there, and try to figure out what's ahead without really going there. Last time around, I actually made decisions and although it's not a proper track to move on, still bumpy, I feel good about it.

I think my philosophy has always been that when one starts out rough, one will manage to iron the creases and bumps out, so that eventually, we travel with minimal turbulance until we hit another crossroad. I know I didn't choose the easier road - but through my experience, the easier roads never go down well with me - rough ones usually pan out well after toiling - which is something to look forward to.
I like to have something to look forward to, because it's about the only definate thing in my life. Plans can be destroyed or shelved, yet it's still something that's there.

I don't know if I would have gone far enough the road in a year to say something different, but for now, it's hard work ahead and let's see what one more year will change for me.