Everyone needs to be Cared for

When a relationship breaks down, whether long-term or legal, the parties would have their own reasons for how they ended up there. On the surface, most would cite the following:
*she/he doesn't understand me
*third party
*compulsive gambler/alcoholic/womaniser
*violence

What we should actually look at are not the reasons recognised on a broad level, because that's just a collection of words that people talk about in these situations which has become some what of a generalisation. Specifics are a more definitive way of concluding an event like this, because at least the bases would have been covered so that it doesn't recur with another person.

For many people, seeking the bottom line is not something they take time to do. I didn't do that in my previous relationships, always preferring to just walk out and leave the mess as a mess. Then, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't, what's there to dissect. But now, as my focus on my life turns towards building a foundation for my son and trying to live by example, I feel that there is a need for more clarity, so that he grows up knowing and not guessing about life and people. Many will not be able to understand why I have this need to be so specific and tiresome. This is my psychological fixation - the bottom line.

Yesterday, after heavy verbal bombardment, my soon-to-be Ex, said that
"You do not want to be cared for"
Very quickly, I tried to fit that statement into those listed above and guess what, it didn't fall into any group. I then realised that what I have experienced in the 17 years of marriage was built on this assumption that he had gathered in his head. It may have been his excuse for marrying someone who was independent, self-sufficient and basically a person who could work, clean and mind the house without any help from him - he went on to do just that. He also told me that he married me because 'You make a good mother' - which meant, he knew what I was and exploited my nature to his advantage.

For everyone who is reading, never ever assume that someone doesn't need to be cared for. Baby animals need to be handled, cared for - you cannot leave him in the cage, supply food and water and expect it to live - it won't. Animal rescue workers will tell you that. Anything that's alive needs to be tended to, cared for - even cut flowers. You want the beauty to last, you snip of the ends, bit by bit, change the water in the vase - you do not just plonk it into a vase and leave it on the table. Plants need to be pruned, soil loosened and watered for it to sprout new shoots.

And so, I have all the answers now and I am able to conclude this permanently.
My bottom line is : If a person stays with you but doesn't care for you because he thinks you don't need to be cared for, then leave that relationship because if plants and non-human animals cannot survive without care, don't think that humans are special and that we can.

This has caused me to become clinically depressed and suicidal - kittens would just perish under such circumstances - and I am almost there.
You need to be cared for.
everyone needs to be cared for.

It's not about suffocating a person and lavishing him/her with gifts.
It doesn't cost money.
It requires just a little thinking and consideration for another's well being.