Looking back at my life, I can say, that never have I had the luxury of sitting back and basking in contentment - because in my view, there is always another notch to clear - it has nothing to do with having to prove anything to anyone - it's a personal drive thing.
It's been more than a year, since I actually decided on this solo venture with my team and we are doing OK - there is always room to get more done, but we were quite content with the work load, not wishing to overload the schedules lest we burn out - it was never a priority, since I was divided between school and getting new portfolios and I couldn't accept work when I wasn't even prepared to spend 80% of the time on it personally.
Was it school that kept me busy? Partly and partly not.
School drives me on the correct path yet takes me away from building the venture up as fast as I could have. Completing my studies totally has been my primary goal, at any point in my life and perhaps that's why it warrants the priority on my schedule. There is no point in validating anything since personal lifetime goals are exactly what they say there are - personal goals and compromising it's hierarchy is asking for trouble.
Therefore, although we want everything - it's never possible at once - but if we pace things, we'll get there, with compromises, of course. Will completing school and getting my doctorate make me any happier - definately, but will it ever make up for the opportunities I have shelved because of it - probably never. Yet I chose school as priority - because I cannot value my self-worth in any other way except through my academic achievements -
This was formed when I was 18 and it's been very constant, biting me, each time I deviate. Therefore I feel very strongly that if we have our roots of ambition/achievement/goals that far back, then it's best we attend to it and at least find some way to see it to the finish lest we prefer to live our twilight years beginning with "what if".
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