About having Goals

We hear this all the time - about people having goals - it's fashionable because for most, it does get the job done. However, when dealing with teens, it's not always as clear - I didn't have a career goal until I completed my O-levels - in fact, if people spoke about slow starters, then i'm IT. I went for my O-levels without a clue about the general direction I should be heading. By the time the results were posted, it was obviously too late, had I returned anything less than what I got. Fortunately for me, fate always had a way of re-routing me and I had an opportunity to do my A-levels, which at that time wasn't on the goal card - not because it was something I didn't want, but I didn't know where I was heading. So when I was accepted, to do my A-levels, I just went along against my parents wishes, which was to go get a job, as most girls do that (then). Thankfully, I listened to my heart and head, which didn't listen to anything except fate. I believed that if the route wasn't for me, it wouldn't have presented itself.



Now, I'm dealing with my son, who will be reaching this crossroad soon. He has no idea of what his preferred educational route is, which isn't a huge deviation from the norm for his age group. Yet, it worries me that because there is no general direction, he will not find his way. He mentioned that he likes writing, and he does write a decent piece, or at least I've read some decent pieces. I took some time last nite, to explain how different his options will look like, as he makes those choices, either voluntarily or by merit.

It doesn't matter if we don't know how to get there - it's more important to have a need to get there. When there is a will, there is a way, but the will is not always built on strength. Things like this cannot be learnt by example, because it's not tangible. We could have the very best of role models, yet fail terribly when placed in a similar situation. People react differently to stressors and that's the blatant truth. There are many times, we know what we should be doing, yet never getting it done, simply because the degree of our responses is just different. We do not view emergencies or alarms with the same exact urgency.

I shall continue this discussion again with him today and hopefully, it won't be a one way conversation, where he's listening but not totally understanding why his mother is telling him what he thinks he already knows. As a single parent (literally) his being adaptive is more important to me than anything else, simply because he's learning how to be responsible from his mother, not his father. If there is anything I wish for him to learn from me is not to shy away from having goals just because it seems out of reach. Nothing is ever out of your reach long term, if you have it within your sight.