Less meandering please

There are many times in my life when I wished for less mental trauma and perhaps a more straightforward path. The past years have been nothing short of a meandering road, twisting and turning until it exhausted me. The ole remedy has always been that it will strengthen us and one day when we recall, it will bring us relief and we will somehow know that it was best for us. I would like to always be positive, but really, reality is anything but that.

Each day, I tussle with issues, either it directly or indirectly involves me. There isn't a day, when I wake up to no issues. It's either this or that, never nothing. Perhaps that's what makes my life eventful - but then, I didn't wish for my life to be so punctuated with events - I know there are many people out there who just exist, eventless and they manage a fulfilling life too - perhaps in their context.

Even when I am doing paperwork, it's never just straightforward paperwork - there is always something else and it's becoming such a cliche that it's annoying. I don't wish to be cynnical, but a meandering pathway has made me expect turns when they are not on the cards and the strange thing is, the turn will happen.

There hasn't been a moment in my life when I didn't have to take a sharp corner and re-invent the surroundings. Perhaps it's because I have never charted out a route for my life to take and use that religiously. It may result in less surprising days, but I know people who are not affected by monotony. I do wonder if it would make me a different person, had my life been less surprising and more expected. Quite likely.

I do not have regrets, I just have moments when I wish things were easier to manage - but beccause manage I will, it never converts itself into a regret. It would be tragic to wake up in the morning to regrets. But it would be change to wake up in the morning to appreciation for having the strength to steer the sampan around bends, which didn't just show up when it wasn't on the map.