I caught this whilst at the transit area of Suvarnabhumi - a stream of light - which to me was significant.In my life of upsets, depression interrupted with bouts of laughter thankfully, not mania, there is a ray of hope that I'll be able to manage this.
There are days when I wonder if I will ever make it. Each day, is so punctuated with 'trouble' that its tough to actually wake up and feel great about anything.
My break in Bangkok meant everything to me. I could breath and for once, not be a slave to my phone. I could spend some time doing what I love the most, my studies and not be interrupted by some leak somewhere on site. For too many months, it seemed impossible, since I needed time to wind down, and time is never on my side. Just when I am winding down work, something else crops up at home - and it goes on and on. I'm not a switch, I cannot switch back and forth at the snap of my fingers.
I haven't laughed so much. I have not felt so safe than when he's next to me.
It's a comfort to open my eyes in the darkness only to slowly be conscious that his arms are around me and keeping me warm. And when I do open my eyes, I see his twinkling and his smile makes my heart skip a beat. All he would do is hold me tighter and put me back to sleep.
When I look at this stream of light, I think of him, because he reminds me that I have the strength to make it through, albeit somewhere lost inside of me. That was enough to keep me on track. I may be at my weakest point of my life, but it's a point i need to manage well.
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