Being detached

For the many times that I have given up on ever being truly happy, I have also resigned myself to the fact that it's just destiny that I get a reprieve now and then, only to be drawn back into the realm of being 'less than happy'. Is there a definate state of 'happy'?

I think not, because being happy, is a state of mind - some people are able to satisfy themselves a lot more easily than others and hence with far less demands on themselves can propel their state of being towards the 'happy' level.

I do not remember a time in my life when I was cruising at that level - not even when I was in school. There was always something that caused me some unease, dissatisfaction and no matter how minor, it affects me so much that the course i'm travelling on either re-routes or i'll just drop altitude and be just slightly 'happy'.

No one is born depressed - a child is difficult when we are not able to discipline the child towards social/familial norms but not depressed. Depression is a state of being - perhaps for some it's a comfy place to be in - because to be happy and then sad may just be too much for a person to cope with - it can be a traumatic change.

Perhaps I have chosen to remain coping and depressed, because people disappoint you all the time. And if one is already depressed (not clinical) then there won't be a cause to get really upset because we are already there and no amount of disappointments can rattle us - we have prepared ourselves to be let down, so to speak.

It's okay to not have high expectations of people and it's okay to just know that most will disappoint at the most unexpected moments - that is human nature and no matter how great we think a person is, they are not us, they do not know what is important to us and they will be the cause of our pain. And if we just exist with people, and have zero expectations, then they usually pass with flying colours.

So lonely is life when one is able to 'look' into a person and what that person really has to offer - which won't be really much if all the pressures in life were released at once.

For the few who live life like me - one day at a time, having no huge expectations from people and strive to do things ourselves - it's a quiet road we're travelling on - one devoid of crowds but at least it provides us solitude to reflect, appreciate the changing scenes and really keep ourselves from getting emotionally unstable.

It's not because such people do not have the ability to feel - it's because they are able to feel more than most which makes them choose to be like this - detached.