Another wet blanket

Just when I thought I dealt with who to discuss about what, another unexpected friend called last night. He called for another reason, but the conversation spilled toward my next course of action wrt my career.

I find that a lot of times, people do not listen and although their intentions are to dish out good advice, advice should be given only when sought. This is my gf's godbrother, who is concerned about how I'm keeping, yet have no clue about my life's goals and aims.

I understand that many cannot understand why I'm spending a few years of my life chasing pieces of paper when the society here does not recognise such paper qualifications when it's not obtained in the 'regular' way i.e. right after mainstream school. People are of the opinion that I should just use what I already have and get a 9-6 job in the social services, as I have been trained to do and that I should leave my PhD dream, to just that, a dream.

I also understand that people are concerned that I am spending a mini-fortune on getting graduate qualifications yet have not seen me use it for real work. Real work to them means being an employee.

I was a bit irritated because it's not easy to decide to realise my dream, and who said that my dream had to conclude with a similar job? It's my dream, I own it and if I feel that I need to achieve it for personal reasons, then I don't find it impractical to do so - it becomes impractical only when that takes precedent over reality i.e. I don't even earn an income elsewhere.

There was this show, Bucket List - where this very rich businessman made a list of things he would like to do before he died - he had all the money in the world, yet he did have things he wished to do. I am not a rich business person, but I too have a list and getting my PhD is on that list. It's different from wanting to sky-dive or climb a mountain but it's my dream and whichever form it takes, it's mine.

I didn't say much to correct him, nor did I bother to even give him an insight, simply because I find it a waste of time to explain to someone, something which they would not understand because they are not me.

We all have dreams, we realise some of them, we put some others aside.

We manage our expectations and we do our best to balance our needs and wants.

What works for one person, doesn't work for everyone across the board.

Before we decide to become a wet blanket, we should study the situation, study the person and listen carefully. This is why I do not like casual conversations, because many will misunderstand me, not out of ignorance but more because they had a bad time in their life and think it will happen to everyone else. I am not immune to disappointments and I have had my fair share of them, but it doesn't mean I should cease to dream.