almost christmas

Now we are definately at the last stretch of 2009. In 2 days, we will be in November and what jolted me was when I saw christmas decorations on sale. This year did go fast and thankfully so too.

I suppose, if there is any word to describe 2009 it would be - turbulent and definately THE turning point in my life. It came with changes to my life, drastic changes and I can only say, it was long coming and something that will bring me more contentment in the future.

If Christmas marks new beginnings, then this christmas should be one that I should look forward to as a milestone. Because I do not celebrate any festivals or special dates, preferring to have an even balance of importance for each day of my life, this may be the year where I celebrate christmas to officiate my new beginning, so to speak.

Having said that, it's tough to change how I do things, because no matter what I hope to do, to make it a celebration, it will not happen. I prefer observation in solitude to' loud' demonstrations. Whatever the changes I wish to embrace is very personal and no matter what the social expectation is, I am a non-conformist - which makes it difficult for me to wake up on christmas morning and have statement-making on my agenda.

BUT as always, I shall bask in the greens and reds and glitter - and hope that by the time January comes, I will be able to put my depression to rest and live my life the way I wanted to all this time. It's a big deal, to ear-mark a year - it's like asking ourselves, which year in our lives we remember the most. So, it's almost christmas - almost time to actually move on and live.