It has nothing to do with my gift to dwell on things either.
For at least ten years, when my gf and me lost contact, i built my life, set directions and got to living. And again, now that we've been in touch for years, I find myself misdirected and upset - almost the same scene repeating itself. It cannot be my deja vu alone.
Friends quarrel, have misunderstandings but we never wish ill or give wrong opinions, because we need to come out on top, regardless.
I am thinking that in this long friendship, she had an agenda - which included messing me up. It's not totally her fault, since I trusted the friendship so much that it never occurred to me that she had ill intentions whenever it concerned me.
Now that the sun has risen in my horizon and I can see, I must say that although she is a poor example of what friends represent, it hasn't left me with a bad taste for having friends - it just validates that I know myself best and I should never seek an opinion from her, ever, again.
She has just downgraded herself to being an acquaintance.
We have enough to deal with in our daily lives, without having to think if our friend would inflict maximum damage to our sense of self. For that, we could just go to some war zone and have our sense of self sacrificed, at least for a greater good.
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