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May 15, 2007

Too late for change

How did a relationship turn? These were the questions I needed answers to, as an old friend finally decided to talk about his 30 year old marriage. It was common knowledge that he was always surfing the streets for a pick-up then - To me, he didn't care - he had the means, thus he felt, he had the right. I shared an apartment with this good friend many years ago, as I was posted to the same city he was working in. I knew his family, albeit not very well - but well enough for the wife to know I'm there. I remember very clearly, one evening, when I turned the key to the front door, opened the door to find a woman, ironing his clothes. For a split second, I thought I was in the wrong apartment. I also remember that this friend, brought the guy I was seeing, out one evening and both of them met 2 local girls and spent a good part of the night at some joint.
Today, he's into his 3rd marriage. His religion permitted him to have 4 wives. I find that a confusion. He's lost and I felt, not in a better position than he was back then. At least then, he had some direction - running a travel agency, etc....Today, I'm not too clear how he earns a living - and I'm really not interested either. I am there as an old friend - 'old' because of the years we've made acquaintance - nothing more. His reason for his disillusionment is because of his 1st wife. I think that's lame - because you do not make a right, by building nests around the region - that's spreading your expenditure and prolonging the problem.
He wants to talk about it - but after 30 years of sowing his wild oats, outside 3 marital homes, I think it's a bit late. He should just live with the problem - what's another 10/20 years of the same....after all, it's been 30, right? It's too late to change the circumstances, because at this point in life, when you're hitting 60, you should have a more practised path to prayers and patience.

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