Finding solutions alone

The trouble with my life is, it's so unpredictable, yet predictable.
I guess it's unpredictable, because it happens at the most inappropriate time, and predictable because I usually have an inkling about it.
But if we can prevent an unplesant situation, why allow it to happen in the first place?

Perhaps it has to do with the wheel of experience that has to be.
Whatever that has to happen, has to happen - no matter how we side-step; if it's going to happen, it will - it may have to do with the involved parties' need to have this experience. As a person who believes in a bigger picture, I always think that there's a good in all the bad - it's got nothing to do with positive thinking since I'm not the self-help type - I just believe that equations always balances out.

That general rule of thumb has helped me become a strong person - stronger than most can imagine - it's not just survival skills or having been enrolled in the school of hard knocks - I believe in solutions and for that reason I managed to turn around my math in school from an F9 to a distinction in one term without tuition, but by just wearing out the exercises thin.

When in doubt, always just choose solitary confinement - that allows us space to think and latitude for solutions. Talking to friends will help some, but there is a danger that we will decide on our friends preferred solution, not something necessarily best for us.
It has always worked for me -
It doesn't matter if I find myself alone in this space because even amongst people I feel alone - so that's secondary.
I trust my instincts and I believe that when we do this often enough, we will heal.

Yes, I am very badly hurt - not because my marriage failed, but because as I'm undoing this, I was expected to understand how depressed that made the other party - he forgot that for more than 6 years now, I have been clinically depressed because I felt trapped and left to manage everything, from wanting to be a good mother to having a career - to balancing my neurotic mother and my ungrateful first-born and my lying ex-husband.

So, yes, people to me just complicate matters - I learn that from experience -
and my advice is always to sort it out alone - some may need some guidance in their thoughts, but that's it, guidance, not solutions. Solutions, we have to find from within us, without help.
Only then can we manage to wake up the next day and see the day through to sunset.