Being a Mother

I am in the final stages of working out a care arrangement for my gf's teen.

The saddest part in this entire exercise is the fact that this 13-year old is bearing the brunt of her family's selfishness. I understand that every mother would like to see a broken family reunited in her children, who probably got split up during the divorce process. Unfortunately, sometimes the mother's good intentions get twisted for every other person's benefit except hers.

This predicament my gf is in, is a classic example of this.
She thought it would be a great idea for all the 3 sisters to spend time together.
Because her 17-year old never lived with her and was raised by her ex-husband, she should know she doesn't have control, but nope, she thought that discipline was across the board. One disagreement with this 17-year old got her running to her 'papa' who then instructed this not-thinking girl to drag her 16-year old and 13-year old sister to the nearest police station to file a child abuse case against the mother.

So the 13-year old was removed from the mothers care and control and placed in a home.

I understand her pain, and so I volunteered to foster this 13-year old, with the hope that the case will be resolved and things can get back to normal for the mother. At the same time, I am concerned that as a mother, she will still want to the girls to bond during foster care.

Unfortunately, all visits by both parties need supervision - and this 13-year old cannot be left for either parent to remove for outings, since the state is now responsible for the welfare and safety of the minor - and even when that is transferred to a foster parent, the same will apply.

I am doing my best to make her understand that it's the best way to do things - we don't like to break family bonds, but under the present circumstances, we have to supervise everything.

Any level headed father, would not do this to a child, who doesn't run away, who doesn't pick fights or give disciplinary problems. He used this child to get back at his ex-wife. All the mother wanted was to have her children together for a bit - that isn't too much to ask - yet all he wanted was to take control of all the children - when he cannot even provide for them - he doesn't have a home to his name, but living in his daughter's bf's house.

I would hate to run people down, but this is certainly not how things should be.
No one can begin to understand a mother's pain, but for this reason, I decided to chuck out my first-born, the minute I found out she was talking to my ex-husband. I did it for the welfare of my son. I wasn't prepared to deal with low lifes, who would use products of the defunct marriage to get themselves one notch up their yardstick.

My gf needs to see that whatever that cannot be saved, should be left - and that although it may seem harsh, we need to be harsh to be kind sometimes - and that some people need to learn lessons the hard way - and no matter how difficult it is for mothers, we need to consider what's best for everyone in the circle.
That is the worst thing about being a Mother.
We have to make decisions that are unpopular for the greater benefit.