Colossal Mess

Colossal Mess - probably got to this state from mess that's either accumulated or just a state where it rained mess and left this huge lump.

We can be the best managers, but when the colossal mess is a result of the latter, then we need to react real quick by putting on our efficiency hat. Fortunately, my life experiences have allowed me to multi-task everything - I have never had the luxury of a straightforward situation, whether it's work-related or not. The upside to this is, I usually find solutions real quick - think on my feet type - but the downside is, the damage it would have cost me would sometimes be quite severe - mental faculties are tightly wound up all the time.

Still, I consider myself rather fortunate - that my mental cupboards with neat little boxes are neat always. It's tiring but it's best to keep things in good mental order - so that at least when I am near a mental breakdown, it'll happen in the correct order and not random. If I know the order, I can get to it before it gets out of hand. I'm sure that makes a lot of sense.

I have been loosing sleep because of this colossal mess, but as with everything, there is an opportunity cost - mine is sleep - a busy mind cannot unwind as quickly as an idle mind. Unfortunately, I am allergic to alcohol, therefore I am not able, ever, to numb my senses. Caffeine does nothing helpful as it keeps me awake - I know that some research says that it doesn't, but whatever works for the majority, doesn't always work for me.

All I can do is take baby steps and counter the unpleasant surprises as they surface and hope for the best - that along the way, bit by bit, each situation will be solved for my counselees and friends who have come to me for informal therapy. Hopefully, with them secured and functional, my life will get back to normal.

To end on a spiritual note, I would say that if I couldn't handle it, it wouldn't have landed on my lap because GOD won't do that to me, correct? I sure hope so otherwise, I would have to go trawl for His email address.