Empathy - do we need it?

Empathy is the most talked about issue in social work - if one cannot feel for another person, how would one understand their plight and how does one be effective?



Speaking for myself, who is Empathy-less; it's great if that is part of your personality make-up and it's not damning if it's not. Although many of my ex-colleagues would readily agree that I do not let emotions get in the way of work, they also know that the quality of my delivery is still very much up to standard. I may not express my emotions the way another person does during sessions, but I do not disregard the presence of emotional turmoil the client is feeling - being without empathy is staying firmly outside so that I am able to look in with clarity.



The caseworker from hell, is different - she has total disregard for her clients by exhibiting rudeness and careless attitude, which should not be. It's not empathy that we need to have but some sense of humanity and humility. After all, when dealing with families who clearly have a weak framework, modeling is probably the best way as a first step towards healing. When we externalise our own issues in the presence of a client, it clearly shows that we are wounded and it has gone out of control. If we had been in control, it would never manifest its ugliness.

It's not empathy that we need to effectively work a case - it's a love for human kind that will get us through. Genuine sincerity and concern for the well-being of another soul, is the kindest gesture anyone can share with another - seeking nothing in return. There will be times when such concern is met with scorn, but if we have patience, it will be returned, after all, how long can a person go on being nasty when all they are receiving in return is politeness.

It's not that some people are deserving of kindness, but being kind doesn't mean rude. It means finding the best way to deliver a message - and there are many ways in solving a problem - being kind doesn't mean we have to be evasive about what we are saying, it's being direct without being patronising and it's being honest without being judgemental.

Therefore, I think it's incorrect that Empathy is critical - If I were in a train wreck and a crisis intervention team came up to me and put their arms around me as a consolation, I would turn around and slap her. She probably knows Empathy to be that way, but she doesn't know me, and I am not into hugs and stuff - which may back-fire. I have watched many clips where counselors do that. Perhaps for them it's their way of telling a person they feel for them.

For me, contact is personal and my space is restricted.
Cut the bull and get to the point.
Bottom Line: Empathy is not required - but love for another is.